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Old 03-05-2019, 12:12 PM
 
Location: Forest Service Cabin-90% of the yr
143 posts, read 25,983 times
Reputation: 212

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Electrician4you View Post
YOU may not but plenty of helicopter parents tend to baby their children to the point where they are insulated ( or a titanic effort to insulate ) from any and all hardships.

And when those hardships come up in real life the kid doesn’t have the right mental strength to deal with it. Christ lady I had a kid who was a helper. The first time I got on his ass for doing something unsafe he literally almost cried. Kid had no mechanism to deal with any criticism.
Maybe he should've laid you out instead? I suspect you'd be more professional next time.
Be careful "getting on anyone's ass" and consider yourself lucky all he did was cry.

Maybe if your own relatives had been more involved in your life, you wouldn't be behaving this way at work

Quote:
The example I gave. This kid and he was a kid just out of college moving out here for a job . Big shot mom and dad came in with this lion and lioness attitude. They expected a beach house rental to basically be a 4500 sq ft mansion for the rent I was charging, because where they lived this was top dollar rent. Ok maybe where YOU live it is. But that isn’t here. And I was lower than anyone else out there. But they were very upset when I told them I dont do co-signers (especially out of state) and their kid doesn’t have enough credit or time on the job and needs to apply like everyone else. Big poppa thought he could just write me a check and I was gonna roll over and do what he wants. Sorry Charlie doesn’t work that way.
You sound angry. Before becoming jealous this young man has a loving father involved supporting his solid start in life, consider why that irks you so much.
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Old 03-05-2019, 12:31 PM
 
1,587 posts, read 631,387 times
Reputation: 2586
Quote:
Originally Posted by Electrician4you View Post
YOU may not but plenty of helicopter parents tend to baby their children to the point where they are insulated ( or a titanic effort to insulate ) from any and all hardships. And when those hardships come up in real life the kid doesn’t have the right mental strength to deal with it. Christ lady I had a kid who was a helper. The first time I got on his ass for doing something unsafe he literally almost cried. Kid had no mechanism to deal with any criticism.
How could non-helicopter parents at home possibly prepare this kid for being scolded at by a boss at WORK? Even if his parents were the strictest, angriest people on Earth, or even if the kid had his own family business and worked there, parents criticizing him vs. a stranger criticizing him are completely different. Nothing prepares you for the emotional fallout when someone at WORK (someone you don't know personally) is displeased, disappointed, or rejects you.
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Old 03-05-2019, 12:37 PM
 
Location: Inland FL
1,127 posts, read 644,887 times
Reputation: 1993
Gen X were neglected as kids and became overprotective parents as a result.
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Old 03-05-2019, 01:10 PM
 
Location: Cincinnati near
2,527 posts, read 3,443,219 times
Reputation: 5671
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyFarm34 View Post
I agree. Maybe with smaller families being common, it's easier to become more involved in a child's life. Idk, I would think a large family of children would make it more difficult to become overly involved.
This describes my parents. As the oldest of 5 and with a brother that required lots of special care, my parents took a very hands off approach when I started high school and waited all of two weeks to re-purpose my bedroom when I moved out permanently for college at 17. On the other hand, they do quite a bit for my baby sister who is in her late 20s now.
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Old 03-05-2019, 01:13 PM
 
Location: Brew City
3,695 posts, read 2,223,169 times
Reputation: 4846
Quote:
Originally Posted by don1945 View Post
I have never understood parents who are thrilled to see their kids turn 18 and leave home. When we had our sons, we had them for life. They were, and still are, our best friends, even though they are now in their late 40's. We have never "coddled" them, but they always knew we were there for them and they could depend on us for anything, and vice versa. We still talk every day or so, and the calls are initiated both ways.

I guess some families are just closer than others.
What I will be thrilled about is if they leave at 18 because they are chasing their dreams. Not living in a dying rural county just because they've been told their entire lives that they need to stay physically close to family like the rest of my husband's family because that's the only way to show you care.

Whether they move to the other side of the world, or across town, start college, travel, join the military, join the workforce, whatever it is, I want it to be what they want. I will support them. I want them to have the confidence to know the world isn't so scary and they can accomplish things on their own. They may fail once or twice but they'll figure out how to move on.

It has nothing to do with how close families are.
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Old 03-05-2019, 01:48 PM
 
1,190 posts, read 843,507 times
Reputation: 2388
Wait til some college grad’s parents call you at work because you passed over their precious child for a promotion. Or they don’t like their hours. Or they’d like a better parking spot please.
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Old 03-05-2019, 03:15 PM
 
101 posts, read 17,071 times
Reputation: 141
I'm in my mid 30s, I joined the military and traveled around the world and even when I was stationed halfway around the globe I still made time to call and talk to my mom, sometimes just about nothing but other times I was calling to ask her opinion about something. I now live a couple of states away from my mom but I still call her on the phone everyday (actually twice a day before work in the morning and after work, just to talk about our day) and sometimes several times a day on the weekend. I still drive down most major holidays, send her flowers on her birthday and buy her gifts on Christmas. I enjoy having a close relationship with my mom, I don't consider it a coddling relationship or a helicopter parent relationship at all but what can I say I still love my mom and I'm not one bit embarrassed to admit it, I only hope when my daughter is older we have a close relationship as well.
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Old 03-05-2019, 05:01 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
53,546 posts, read 52,584,967 times
Reputation: 63036
Quote:
Originally Posted by sixlets82 View Post
I'm in my mid 30s, I joined the military and traveled around the world and even when I was stationed halfway around the globe I still made time to call and talk to my mom, sometimes just about nothing but other times I was calling to ask her opinion about something. I now live a couple of states away from my mom but I still call her on the phone everyday (actually twice a day before work in the morning and after work, just to talk about our day) and sometimes several times a day on the weekend. I still drive down most major holidays, send her flowers on her birthday and buy her gifts on Christmas. I enjoy having a close relationship with my mom, I don't consider it a coddling relationship or a helicopter parent relationship at all but what can I say I still love my mom and I'm not one bit embarrassed to admit it, I only hope when my daughter is older we have a close relationship as well.
Having a close relationship with a parent and asking them for advice is a completely different thing than helicopter parenting.

Did your mother call your commanding officer when you were in the military to complain that you were not being treated fairly or to ask why you didn't get a promotion? THAT would be helicopter parenting.
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Old Yesterday, 05:47 AM
 
Location: Canada
5,473 posts, read 3,921,576 times
Reputation: 14545
We didn't have children so that at 18 we could tell them to leave and spread their wings. We wanted children so that we could enjoy them throughout our lives, and if that means (or meant) that they stay with us until they can support themselves (within a reasonable age) then that's what we did.

Our kids are now wonderful, self supporting adults who still enjoy spending time with us and we still help them whenever we can or whenever they need us to, physically, emotionally or financially.

When I look at some families that are so messed up, I feel sorry for them. I know we are fortunate to have a fairly normal family and hubby and I were both raised in fairly normal families.
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Old Yesterday, 10:26 AM
 
450 posts, read 135,224 times
Reputation: 997
My son is starting graduate school in the fall. He's 22 years old. We paid for his undergraduate degree but he will have to pay for graduate school. He applied to a number of graduate schools and prepared the applications by himself.

However, I still am going to his accepted student day. Graduate school is a huge investment of time and money. Why shouldn't I see the school and find out about the program? He wants us there so we are going.
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