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Old Today, 06:36 AM
 
Location: USA
2,514 posts, read 1,904,774 times
Reputation: 4007

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I help tutor college aged students to gain credit hours for a class they are taking. There's one student whose mom comes every time to tag along. Sometimes, the rest of her family comes along too, her dad and younger siblings. I haven't said anything yet to the student. She doesn't seem to really have any friends. From what I gather, she was home schooled. I think her mom needs to cut the cord. Her mom seems nice but that's not really the point. I remember being in collage and wanted my own independent separate from family. I can understand if she was under 18 but she's already an adult and think her mom needs to back off and let her be independent when it comes to attending events to gain credit hours for her college class.
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Old Today, 07:58 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,500 posts, read 18,221,429 times
Reputation: 23523
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyFarm34 View Post
I help tutor college aged students to gain credit hours for a class they are taking. There's one student whose mom comes every time to tag along. Sometimes, the rest of her family comes along too, her dad and younger siblings. I haven't said anything yet to the student. She doesn't seem to really have any friends. From what I gather, she was home schooled. I think her mom needs to cut the cord. Her mom seems nice but that's not really the point. I remember being in collage and wanted my own independent separate from family. I can understand if she was under 18 but she's already an adult and think her mom needs to back off and let her be independent when it comes to attending events to gain credit hours for her college class.



Yes some parents have made their kids their whole life ( I know a few ) . One imparticular who always has her grandkids at her house . She no longer has time for her friends w/o dragging a grand kid along and said grandkid starts to cry or act up and she has to leave a luncheon of her friends . I used to say to her do you ever think about just being a grandma part time and she responded by saying "oh no I could never do that " . You know I just want to shake these parents and say " You are entitled to your own life and let your kids raise their kids let them be the ones who take of their kids not you ' . They are incapable of understanding of the term cutting the cord . I cut mine a long time ago and I tell my kids I love being grandma but not all the time . I have a husband who deserves my time as well and I have lady friends whom I have lunch with once a week and that is my non grandma time .Now that might change as I get older but I seriously doubt it . I feel sorry for these parents who cant cut the cord nor can they cut the grandma cord .I agree with you it is time for that mother to cut the cord .
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Old Today, 08:03 AM
 
Location: Michigan
158 posts, read 87,016 times
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What concern is it of yours how this family manages their lives? It is better that the parents are involved with their child's life than not enough. What does age 18 have to do with it? When you become 18 does it magically change things?
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Old Today, 08:22 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,500 posts, read 18,221,429 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unsworth View Post
What concern is it of yours how this family manages their lives? It is better that the parents are involved with their child's life than not enough. What does age 18 have to do with it? When you become 18 does it magically change things?

Hey this Op came here wondering if this was common or not ? this is an open forum and people are allowed to give their opinions and ask ?:s right ? I think she was just wondering if this is an occurring trend . She has every right to ask and I do tend to think it is .
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Old Today, 08:32 AM
 
Location: The analog world
16,686 posts, read 9,397,343 times
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Not common at all, and neither I nor anyone else can explain what is going on in that family.
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Old Today, 09:00 AM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
22,525 posts, read 4,743,983 times
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I knew a girl whose mother was her CONSTANT companion throughout high school. We all knew it and no one quite figured out why...
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Old Today, 09:35 AM
 
5,263 posts, read 5,087,326 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyFarm34 View Post
I haven't said anything yet to the student. She doesn't seem to really have any friends. From what I gather, she was home schooled. I think her mom needs to cut the cord. Her mom seems nice but that's not really the point.
Did the student come to you for tutoring or psych. services?

You are behaving as if she has been abducted.

Do your job, stop making assumptions you have zero insight into, don't judge people that don't fit into your mold, let people live their lives the way they choose.
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Old Today, 10:08 AM
 
3,572 posts, read 2,541,578 times
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OP, have you been allowing the family to sit in the same room with you while you're tutoring? Or are they just sitting outside?

If I was tutoring, I would only allow the student to be in the room, I would think any additional people would be a distraction. I think back to all the private music and dance classes I had growing up, starting at 10 years old and never wanting/needing a parent there.
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Old Today, 10:15 AM
 
4,729 posts, read 1,937,939 times
Reputation: 14790
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyFarm34 View Post
I help tutor college aged students to gain credit hours for a class they are taking. There's one student whose mom comes every time to tag along. Sometimes, the rest of her family comes along too, her dad and younger siblings. I haven't said anything yet to the student. She doesn't seem to really have any friends. From what I gather, she was home schooled. I think her mom needs to cut the cord. Her mom seems nice but that's not really the point. I remember being in collage and wanted my own independent separate from family. I can understand if she was under 18 but she's already an adult and think her mom needs to back off and let her be independent when it comes to attending events to gain credit hours for her college class.

I have a friend who is in the administration for a university. A few years ago, three weeks into the semester, she got a call from an angry parent.

As it turns out, the parent's daughter had a roommate in the dorm. But the roommate's mom wouldn't leave. As in sleeping in the floor on an air mattress. The girl had hinted around. The dorm RA had come around. But this woman wouldn't budge. Three. Weeks. Later. They literally had to get campus security to ask her to leave.

When we dropped our daughter off at college, we toted her stuff up the stairs, set up her bed, made sure she had everything, and drove off. Total time, one hour.

You cripple your child by making his or her life easy.
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Old Today, 10:21 AM
 
Location: The analog world
16,686 posts, read 9,397,343 times
Reputation: 22330
Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver View Post
I have a friend who is in the administration for a university. A few years ago, three weeks into the semester, she got a call from an angry parent.

As it turns out, the parent's daughter had a roommate in the dorm. But the roommate's mom wouldn't leave. As in sleeping in the floor on an air mattress. The girl had hinted around. The dorm RA had come around. But this woman wouldn't budge. Three. Weeks. Later. They literally had to get campus security to ask her to leave.

When we dropped our daughter off at college, we toted her stuff up the stairs, set up her bed, made sure she had everything, and drove off. Total time, one hour.

You cripple your child by making his or her life easy.
I think thatís excessive. I will note, though, that my daughterís university has a residence hall set aside for situations like this. In most cases, it involves an international student with a guardian.
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