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Old 03-10-2019, 11:45 PM
 
3 posts, read 1,109 times
Reputation: 10

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wow thank you for your reply, while im not comfortable telling you my town, i will say however that i plan to try to move in with my dad and siblings maybe after I graduate maybe earlier depending on what happens. I have talked to my mom about all of this and if anything between me and my stepdad happens like this again, shes said that were leaving. So to dynamicjson and BrainGardens, I dont put alot of the blame on my mom because i understand her position between the 2 boys she loves most. Shes been the one to actually help me behind his back even now, because im technically not allowed wifi, she lets me use her phones hotspot under the radar. She obviously doesnt know about this post but she atleast understands how I feel and is there for me.
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Old 03-11-2019, 12:02 AM
 
390 posts, read 65,347 times
Reputation: 374
Quote:
Originally Posted by dubbs02 View Post
Shes been the one to actually help me behind his back even now, because im technically not allowed wifi, she lets me use her phones hotspot under the radar. She obviously doesnt know about this post but she atleast understands how I feel and is there for me.
what you want to look out for is-- have you gotten into these kinds of patterns more than once in your life? because if your mother has dragged you into these things on multiple occasions, only to rescue you, only to drag you into something like that again-- that is extemely suspect and you should be on the lookout for that. because thats a thing with some people-- the hurt and rescue cycle, and it can enlist a bad spouse. or two. or three. (generally not at once, of course.)

that actually happens. with that said, if this is not a pattern, then congratulations-- you (probably) have a genuinely caring mother who still needs to get out of there. but since she hasnt asked us anything, we can mostly only worry about you. best of luck, i would be very happy to be wrong about my concern (and i could very well be wrong) and i hope your life will be profitable and happy.
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Old 03-11-2019, 03:48 AM
 
5,597 posts, read 2,542,144 times
Reputation: 14211
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
I'll wait until your second post to write a thoughtful response.
okay claraC, second post was made....awaiting your thought filled post. ( Meant sincerely as you tend to give wise words )
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Old 03-11-2019, 01:11 PM
 
9 posts, read 1,404 times
Reputation: 28
So your dad wanted to take away your phone because you had an attitude and you wouldn't give it to him, and now you want to play victim ?

How about not having an attitude when you talk to someone ? How about talking like an adult, since you want to be one so bad ?

How about giving him the phone next time he asks for it ?


What am I missing here ?


Your the one who wanted to escalate the situation by not giving him the phone .. What did you think was going to happen ? He was going to just go away ?
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Old 03-11-2019, 02:47 PM
 
1,603 posts, read 1,495,790 times
Reputation: 2223
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrainGardens View Post
Ya I think everyone in the military might get free college. In terms of housing I knew a marine in school that had free housing while in school I think. Free college would help him out financially and that in turn will put him on a path to success.
The GI Bill is structured quite differently than most people assume. It's credits based on time served. https://www.military.com/education/g...ill-facts.html





Quote:
Originally Posted by Marv55 View Post
So your dad wanted to take away your phone because you had an attitude and you wouldn't give it to him, and now you want to play victim ?

How about not having an attitude when you talk to someone ? How about talking like an adult, since you want to be one so bad ?

How about giving him the phone next time he asks for it ?


What am I missing here ?


Your the one who wanted to escalate the situation by not giving him the phone .. What did you think was going to happen ? He was going to just go away ?

You're missing several key points:


1- the stepfather has been verbally abusive to the kid since the kid moved in.


2- the stepfather has escalated his behavior to include a physical assault. Not his kid and he needs to keep his hands to himself.


3- the kid came out of the bathroom at the request ofa step-sibling. There is zero need for the step father to know what the kid was doing in the bathroom. Do you expect a report every time one of your kids takes a dump?
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Old 03-11-2019, 02:52 PM
 
9 posts, read 1,404 times
Reputation: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by charmed hour View Post
The GI Bill is structured quite differently than most people assume. It's credits based on time served. [URL]https://www.military.com/education/gi-bill/5-must-know-gi-bill-facts.html[/URL]








You're missing several key points:


1- the stepfather has been verbally abusive to the kid since the kid moved in.


2- the stepfather has escalated his behavior to include a physical assault. Not his kid and he needs to keep his hands to himself.


3- the kid came out of the bathroom at the request ofa step-sibling. There is zero need for the step father to know what the kid was doing in the bathroom. Do you expect a report every time one of your kids takes a dump?
Well, why was he in the bathroom with headphones on ?

How long was the OP in the bathroom ? were you in there 45 minutes listening to music, then come out with an attitude ? then not give up the phone ?


What if the situation went like this:

Why were you in the bathroom so long ?! "sorry, I was going #2, I tried to hurry"

Where is your phone ! "right hear, father"

END OF STORY


would probably get the phone back the next day ..

kid probably has an ongoing attitude problem when talking to him..
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Old 03-12-2019, 08:59 PM
 
1,146 posts, read 740,455 times
Reputation: 1737
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marv55 View Post
So your dad wanted to take away your phone because you had an attitude and you wouldn't give it to him, and now you want to play victim ?

How about not having an attitude when you talk to someone ? How about talking like an adult, since you want to be one so bad ?

How about giving him the phone next time he asks for it ?


What am I missing here ?


Your the one who wanted to escalate the situation by not giving him the phone .. What did you think was going to happen ? He was going to just go away ?
Thank God at least 1 person gets it.


OP: I have the right to have a snobby attitude with my stepdad.

OP: <gets surprised and indignant when person gets aggravated at the person who is aggravating him>
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Old 03-13-2019, 07:21 PM
 
526 posts, read 155,864 times
Reputation: 1158
Who paid for the phone? If your mother and stepdad paid for phone and its the monthly charges, they have the right to ask for it. It's their choice to use it as punishment.

Next, hand it to him. Don't give him any lip. Volunteer to help your mom around the house. Vacuum, offer to clear the dinner table, load the dishwasher, clean a bathroom. Help your mom. Get your stepdad off your back.

You need an endgame. How are your grades? Could you ask your guidance counselor about colleges and scholarships? What about trade schools? Could your father help you financially with schools?

Get out of the house. Someone else said to join clubs. You go to the library after school. Read as many books as you can.

You lived with a lot of different people. Not ideal situation. However, it is almost done so do what your stepfather wants, help around the house, get out of house and bide your time.
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Old 03-13-2019, 10:32 PM
 
3,850 posts, read 3,561,326 times
Reputation: 10219
Where is the safest place for YOU to be living? Not for your mother, not to keep your mother safe, not to guard your younger siblings, but for YOU? Just for YOU, alone, not taking into consideration the welfare of your mother or younger siblings?

With your grandparents? First stepfather? Foster care? Right where you are?

That is where you need to be. Foster care is probably going to be worse than where you are. I suspect that if you had a better place to be, you would have already gone there. It may be that the best place you can be, is right where you are. If that is the case, you have to make the best of it.

Work as hard as you can in school, to do as well as you possibly can. If possible, take extra courses and do summer school to try to graduate early. Your best bet is to get out of there as quickly as possible, and with a high school diploma, so if graduating early is at all possible, make it so.

Did you do something wrong on the internet, like porn, and is that why your step father is denying you wifi access? Or is it just out of meanness? Clearly, there is something very wrong going on in the household, if your stepfather is denying you wifi, yet your mother is undermining him by giving you hotspot access. If he's truly abusive towards you, and your mother stays with him, and doesn't get you out of there, no matter how much you love your mother, she's failing you as a parent, and you should not be staying there. Does your step father behave abusively toward your mother, too? If he does, it is not your job, as a child, to protect her. But if he IS being physically abusive towards her, call the police. If you have no phone access, slip out unobserved to a neighbor and ask them to call the police.

If you possibly can, get a part time job. Get a bank account that your parents do not know about, and bank every penny there. That way, you'll be able to buy yourself cell phone service with unlimited data, so you won't need the house wifi. There are solo plans as cheap as $50/month with unlimited data, and as cheap as $15/month with smaller amounts of data. Stay out of the house as much as you can. Without jeopardizing your grades, work as many hours as you can, and save it all, where your parents cannot get at it, and do not let them know about your savings. They could take it from you, if they were to find out. If for some reason, you cannot get work, then get involved in as many activities at school as you possibly can, to beef up your college chances, and to keep you out of the house, out of this man's way.

If you are smoking, vaping, doing drugs, or drinking, stop it, and if you haven't started, don't start. Don't get tattoos. Don't commit crimes. Don't get arrested.

Talk to a counselor at school about college options. If you don't want to go to college, you might be best off going into the military. Trade schools are expensive, plus you really need to move out as early as possible - you wouldn't be able to do that while attending trade school. Your best bet might very well be going into the military. For instance, if you wanted a technical field, or medical field, or to be a firefighter or go into law enforcement, you can get training for any of those things through the military, while earning money, and you will have a place to live away from your step father. If you can graduate from high school early, you can go into the military at age 17, if your mother will sign for it. You could conceivably be out of the house with a high school diploma, by June of 11th grade, or maybe August, if you have to go to summer school to get your high school diploma.

If it's that you're just a lazy teen with an attitude, who doesn't help around the house, doesn't work hard in school, doesn't want to get a job, and just wants to defy the authority of the man of the house, then you're going to have a pretty hard time of it. No one is going to rescue you, except yourself.
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Old 03-18-2019, 12:43 AM
 
3 posts, read 1,109 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
I'll wait until your second post to write a thoughtful response.
I would love to hear what you have to say.
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