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Old Yesterday, 06:48 AM
 
606 posts, read 176,867 times
Reputation: 1323

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Quote:
Originally Posted by dubbs02 View Post
Iím pretty sure sheís mentally ill and I donít want to get a call that she killed herself because I left (which she has talked about when she was angry and it scares the **** out of me.) because she attempted when I was really young. So what do I do? Just worry about me, talk to her on the phone after I leave to keep in touch. Or stay and eat **** for another year cuz Iíll be 17 in like 6 weeks.
Never the responsibility of a child to keep their parent alive. End of story. Never. No way.
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Old Yesterday, 09:16 PM
 
1,196 posts, read 754,545 times
Reputation: 1840
Quote:
Originally Posted by Radical_Thinker View Post
The part in bold - make it a chant and repeat it many times a day in your head. He is NOT your father, and you should never, ever think of him as such. This goes for any child who is stuck with a stepparent. They're just an adult in the room, with zero authority over any children who are not theirs. Next time he gives you static, just say those magic words: You're not my father.

I never could understand why people who marry spouses with children who are not their own act like they're a valid parent. They're not, plain and simple. They're just an adult in the room, nothing more ...

On another note, I used to criticize how my parents were rearing me - yes, actual criticism...lol. Guilt trip city, since I knew what buttons to push, every time. Yes, I was a tough kid to raise. I'd been hell on Earth if I'd been stuck with a stepparent - they'd be the one chomping at the bit to get out of the house, not me. Trust me on this one.
There are a lot of stepfathers out there doing jobs the deadbeat dads don't or won't do.

I might get a big suspension for this but, I have to speak my conscience on this one;
You're a real piece of trash!
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Old Today, 12:04 AM
 
8 posts, read 1,962 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by RageX View Post
There are a lot of stepfathers out there doing jobs the deadbeat dads don't or won't do.

I might get a big suspension for this but, I have to speak my conscience on this one;
You're a real piece of trash!
I wonít agree or disagree with you. I just know I donít do that 🤷🏻*♂️
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Old Today, 12:05 AM
 
8 posts, read 1,962 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by YorktownGal View Post
Never the responsibility of a child to keep their parent alive. End of story. Never. No way.
So what do I do?
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Old Today, 11:17 AM
 
10,248 posts, read 8,169,884 times
Reputation: 18597
Quote:
Originally Posted by dubbs02 View Post
So what do I do?
I am so sorry things are so tough- you deserve better.

If anyone threatens suicide and you think they may be serious, call 911. Yes, it may embarrass them if they were making the threat to manipulate, but it may also be a wake-up call. If they become abusive afterwards, call 911 again if it gets really bad, or leave the house if you can, ideally when things start going south rather than when they escalate.

Meanwhile, try to avoid triggering conflict as much as you can. Keep a low profile at home. Not easy, I know. Get yourself a calendar and mark off the days. Look into possibilities for living your life elsewhere once you turn 18 and have graduated from high school. Start a small savings account if you can - otherwise, get a piggy bank and add to it as you can. Get a summer job - mowing, raking, trimming neighbors' hedges, babysitting, etc. If any of your friends' families are having yard sales, see if you can add unwanted possessions to them. Get your driver's license, if you don't already have it. Be frugal. Help your savings and earnings add up.

Best wishes to you.
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Old Today, 11:21 AM
 
606 posts, read 176,867 times
Reputation: 1323
Quote:
Originally Posted by dubbs02 View Post
So what do I do?

Find a high school counselor or social worker. Explain your situation. Ask for counseling or some type of help for you. Especially ask for help on what to do after high school. Ask what your college or trade school options are.

You don't be cruel to your mom. Explain that it's time for you to leave the nest. Thank her for everything she did. Reinsure her that you know she did her best (regardless of what you do or don't think).

Explain to her that you need to focus on yourself. Time to think about your future. You to find a career where you can support yourself. This is the most normal activity for a 17 years old.

As a side note, when my kids were 17, they took their SAT's and we spent weekends touring colleges. My total focus revolved around them picking out a college and a major. Someone should be doing this for you. If not, you need to focus on yourself and your future with help from your high school counselor or social worker.

Then you leave. You call your mom once a week. Send cards. Tell her you still love her.

You aren't qualified to be her therapist or a marriage counselor. You aren't abandoning her, this is above your pay scale.

Your sole job now is to find out what your options are after high school.
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Old Today, 11:21 AM
 
10,248 posts, read 8,169,884 times
Reputation: 18597
School will be out soon - are you graduating, or are you finishing your junior year?

How about spending most of the summer with your dad? Then you could just stick around for the following year, assuming you're graduating next year, without having to have a huge big unpleasant exit scene with your mother and stepfather.

Is your father aware of how difficult things are for you at present?
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Old Today, 11:23 AM
 
606 posts, read 176,867 times
Reputation: 1323
Quote:
Originally Posted by CraigCreek View Post
Get yourself a calendar and mark off the days. Look into possibilities for living your life elsewhere once you turn 18 and have graduated from high school. Start a small savings account if you can - otherwise, get a piggy bank and add to it as you can. Get a summer job - mowing, raking, trimming neighbors' hedges, babysitting, etc. If any of your friends' families are having yard sales, see if you can add unwanted possessions to them. Get your driver's license, if you don't already have it. Be frugal. Help your savings and earnings add up.

Best wishes to you.
Great advice!
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