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Old 03-10-2019, 01:48 PM
 
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Hello, i'm 20 years old, i don't have my own kids or younger siblings and i'm really bad in communicating with kids. Every time i stay with my niece or some other kids i have trouble communicating with them and it's really confusing. I can either ignor them or play with them, but last option turns into another trouble. For example, once i visited my relatives, they have little daughter, so i tried to be friendly and played some game with her. It wasn't too interesting for me, but i felt like i had to do it. And then for the rest of the day i wasn't able to get rid of her. She interrupted every conversation i had with other people and kept asking me to play with her. This happens all the time when i try to play with kids, they kinda treat me like i'm the same age as they or idk. They can be even offensive towards me and i just don't know what to do. And if we talk just about communication, i feel awkward and prefer just ignore kids, but it's not what i want, so basic question: what should i do?
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Old 03-10-2019, 01:55 PM
 
Location: Prepperland
13,519 posts, read 9,596,114 times
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Re: Interruptions: Smile, "not now. I am talking with _ _ _ _ ."


Remember, children have not learned the boundaries of behavior and need constant reminders - to the eternal embarrassment of adult children.
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Old 03-11-2019, 06:01 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
75,866 posts, read 67,736,651 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jetgraphics View Post
Re: Interruptions: Smile, "not now. I am talking with _ _ _ _ ."


Remember, children have not learned the boundaries of behavior and need constant reminders - to the eternal embarrassment of adult children.
. This. Kids who are too small too have learned how to play alone (3, 4 years old) will latch onto any grownup who plays with them. Even slightly older kids Amy feel the need for company, and may feel lonely, playing on their own. You can be aware of that, before you decide to get involved. I'm not sure why you felt you "had to do it", when visiting relatives.
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Old 03-11-2019, 06:05 PM
 
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"...prefer just ignore kids, but it's not what i want, so basic question: what should i do?"

basic question: what do you really want?
prefer to ignore, but it's not what i (you) want...so exactly what do you want?
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Old 03-11-2019, 07:52 PM
 
Location: USA
2,528 posts, read 1,920,206 times
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I feel like I don’t communicate well with children either but yet relatives ask me to babysit. I did turn one offer down because I never met these kids and know nothing about them. My hearing has deteriorated over the years and find it frustrating when a kid tries talking to me and can’t understand clearly. Even with my brother’s kids, I’m somewhat distanst but try spending time with them even if it’s watching their favorite movie
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Old 03-11-2019, 08:39 PM
 
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Give it time. If you're made to be a parent, those biological instincts will kick in. You don't have to know anything right now.
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Old 03-12-2019, 10:27 AM
 
11,813 posts, read 9,609,307 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Postfan View Post
Hello, i'm 20 years old, i don't have my own kids or younger siblings and i'm really bad in communicating with kids. Every time i stay with my niece or some other kids i have trouble communicating with them and it's really confusing. I can either ignor them or play with them, but last option turns into another trouble. For example, once i visited my relatives, they have little daughter, so i tried to be friendly and played some game with her. It wasn't too interesting for me, but i felt like i had to do it. And then for the rest of the day i wasn't able to get rid of her. She interrupted every conversation i had with other people and kept asking me to play with her. This happens all the time when i try to play with kids, they kinda treat me like i'm the same age as they or idk. They can be even offensive towards me and i just don't know what to do. And if we talk just about communication, i feel awkward and prefer just ignore kids, but it's not what i want, so basic question: what should i do?
Talk to them like you would any other human being, with kindness but clarity. "Please don't interrupt when I am talking to someone else." And "No thanks, I don't want to play right now."
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Old 03-12-2019, 12:38 PM
 
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^^^ Great answer.

Most kids love being talked to like adults. Obviously you need to watch your language and make sure topics are appropriate for kids, but they usually think it's funny if you ask them if they have a job or what kind of car they drive. Breaks the ice.

Kids are often a bit obsessive about a new adult in the house, especially a young adult that they see as more of a peer. Just remember that you are the adult, so if they're being inappropriate, it's okay to tell them that you won't be able to play with them if they can't behave better.
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Old 03-12-2019, 12:45 PM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
23,882 posts, read 4,924,780 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Talk to them like you would any other human being, with kindness but clarity. "Please don't interrupt when I am talking to someone else." And "No thanks, I don't want to play right now."


I don't have kids but as I've always kids as close neighbors, learned to just talk naturally to them.
Not to be condescending, no baby talk, respect what they say, allow them to make their own decisions,
listen.

Particularly listening, as I've learned much from children through the years.
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Old Yesterday, 04:07 PM
 
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Most children are pretty reasonable little beings, if treated reasonably. It might be helpful for you to read some books on child development - there's a series with titles like "Your Three Year Old: Tiresome and Terrific!" (made up example) that is very readable and spot-on, but written before the onslaught of the Internet, computer games, etc.

A simple help is to state clearly what you are doing and what you will be doing next with the child. 'How about playing dolls for a little while?" Then "We can play dolls for five more minutes, then it will be time to (do something else - i.e. "For me to visit with your mommy while you look at picture books"). Small children usually have no concept of time, but you can help create it by not only using five minute warnings but additional end-game warnings at various intervals (include clean-up time in this).

How old is the little girl you describe? The hanging-on after you've played with her for a while can be addressed by having her do individual projects - artwork is a favorite - to keep her absorbed and self-contained. Once she finishes, she can show you her creation. You can ooh and ahh over it, thank her for showing it to you, then ask her what she's going to draw next. No matter what it is, tell her it sounds great and send her one her way. Repeat as necessary.

Actually, if she is interrupting you while you're talking to her parent or parents, they should be the ones to correct her, not you. But these other techniques can make life easier for everyone without having to be hardnosed about it.

Hang tough with baby sitting. If you don't want to for any reason, then don't do it.
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