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Old 03-26-2019, 02:41 PM
 
1 posts, read 414 times
Reputation: 10

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I've always been one to keep my kids active. All kinds of activities, sports, travel, anything to keep them busy and learning. My son, who is 12, has friends over often and I always keep the kids busy never letting them sit in the house. We do all kinds of fun things (trampoline park, go kart racing, sports, museums, etc).

In any case his best friend who he's known for a year stopped coming over our house. I spoke to the mother and she informed me that the father does not want the kid over our house anymore. The reason? The kid was always talking about how much fun we had an all the things I did for the kid, so the father (who is in and out of jail, broke as a joke, etc) got pissed off. He felt like I was stepping on his toes as the father because the kid always talked highly about me.

I mean seriously is this how people think? So a kid doesn't want to just vegetate at home doing nothing all day, enjoys spending time with me and my kid because we actually do things, and I'M THE BAD GUY??? Has anyone else experienced this?
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Old 03-26-2019, 02:49 PM
 
1,783 posts, read 2,129,800 times
Reputation: 2704
Quote:
Originally Posted by sandiskman View Post
I've always been one to keep my kids active. All kinds of activities, sports, travel, anything to keep them busy and learning. My son, who is 12, has friends over often and I always keep the kids busy never letting them sit in the house. We do all kinds of fun things (trampoline park, go kart racing, sports, museums, etc).

In any case his best friend who he's known for a year stopped coming over our house. I spoke to the mother and she informed me that the father does not want the kid over our house anymore. The reason? The kid was always talking about how much fun we had an all the things I did for the kid, so the father (who is in and out of jail, broke as a joke, etc) got pissed off. He felt like I was stepping on his toes as the father because the kid always talked highly about me.

I mean seriously is this how people think? So a kid doesn't want to just vegetate at home doing nothing all day, enjoys spending time with me and my kid because we actually do things, and I'M THE BAD GUY??? Has anyone else experienced this?
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Old 03-26-2019, 02:53 PM
Status: "I don't have to agree." (set 24 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
8,396 posts, read 3,157,650 times
Reputation: 17625
They are probably jealous because you can afford these activities and they can't.
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Old 03-26-2019, 03:06 PM
 
155 posts, read 25,176 times
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Yes, but in our case it wasn't necessarily all about paid entertainment events.

And also in the one case that sticks out, the friend mouthed off to her mom about it, which precipitated her (the mom's) response.
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Old Yesterday, 09:52 AM
 
74 posts, read 21,038 times
Reputation: 248
It DOES NOT matter what you think you are providing or contributing to another child's life if their time spent with you is disruptive or creating strife within another family unit.
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Old Yesterday, 10:05 AM
 
5,522 posts, read 1,955,917 times
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Come on. You know you're not the bad guy. This man's son held a mirror up to the dad, and the dad didn't like what he saw. The issue is with the other dad. Not you. Too bad for the son though.
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Old Yesterday, 10:14 AM
 
20 posts, read 1,541 times
Reputation: 35
It's not your fault, in fact, I think the kid deserves to have as much fun as he can get.
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Old Yesterday, 10:41 AM
 
74 posts, read 21,038 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
They are probably jealous because you can afford these activities and they can't.

I would suggest not always defaulting to "they are probably jealous" rationale. We are quite comfortable and have many friends and acquaintances who are of limited means and also extreme wealth. When our kids were growing up... there were times contact with both groups were limited due to a variety of reasons. Extended family is also not "precluded" or immune from having contact limited.

Parents have many responsibilities when making child-rearing decisions and what may be "acceptable" or "normal" for one family is NOT for another.

Last edited by CentralUSHomeowner; Yesterday at 11:13 AM..
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Old Yesterday, 11:04 AM
 
2,165 posts, read 1,584,883 times
Reputation: 3473
Quote:
Originally Posted by sandiskman View Post
I've always been one to keep my kids active. All kinds of activities, sports, travel, anything to keep them busy and learning. My son, who is 12, has friends over often and I always keep the kids busy never letting them sit in the house. We do all kinds of fun things (trampoline park, go kart racing, sports, museums, etc).

In any case his best friend who he's known for a year stopped coming over our house. I spoke to the mother and she informed me that the father does not want the kid over our house anymore. The reason? The kid was always talking about how much fun we had an all the things I did for the kid, so the father (who is in and out of jail, broke as a joke, etc) got pissed off. He felt like I was stepping on his toes as the father because the kid always talked highly about me.

I mean seriously is this how people think? So a kid doesn't want to just vegetate at home doing nothing all day, enjoys spending time with me and my kid because we actually do things, and I'M THE BAD GUY??? Has anyone else experienced this?
Yeah, it's messed up that the father has that kind of reaction, and it's his kid who will suffer because of it. But honestly? I would just shrug my shoulders, walk away, and leave his kid alone, so as not to end up on a 20/20 special or the ID Channel.
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Old Yesterday, 11:42 AM
 
1,387 posts, read 435,813 times
Reputation: 2149
How long does he usually get in jail? If you hear about him in jail next time just call mom and say you're spending the afternoon with your son and he wonders if you could take his friend along. She should understand you know the dad's not home.

It would be nice to keep a hand in at least while dad's away. Give him the impression you're helping and when dad's home you bow out...or both of you can go to a park, sit and talk while the boys...whatever...play basketball. Just a short time.

Dad may see you're not so bad and allow it under certain circumstances.

Thing is, you son seems to enjoy the boy (although do watch for signs the boy may head in dad's direction and be a bad example even before you realize it) and a good boy could benefit from a good role model at least now and then.
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