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Old Yesterday, 11:23 AM
Status: "Spring has Sprung!" (set 7 days ago)
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
86,155 posts, read 101,176,918 times
Reputation: 32630

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Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
I totally agree with this, but I don't think having a birthday is some special achievement or performance.
I'm with you! My kids are grown now, but I seem to recall giving the other child a gift for the other one's birthday when they were very young, but I think we dropped that as they got older. As you can see, you do forget about these burning issues as the kids get older. I do agree with the thread title, that the gift should be "small".

I also agree with giving everyone prizes at party games. Good heavens, it's not the Olympics!
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Old Yesterday, 01:28 PM
 
16,368 posts, read 13,741,783 times
Reputation: 20354
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyFarm34 View Post
Yes, Iíve witnessed this with my family. I think itís very inappropriate regardless of age. Every kid deserves to feel special on their birthday without someone stealing the spotlight. Is this becoming a trend giving a small gift to a sibling as well when itís not their birthday? Kids need to learn the world doesnít revolve around them and be happy for others celebrating milestones such as birthdays
Different strokes for different folks.

In some parts of the world the custom on your birthday is to take others out. So it is not like there is a correct answer to this one way or the other.

In our family, gifts are not owed based on the date. We get people gifts only because we want to give them something. We also tend to focus on experiences for big events like birthdays, holidays, etc. rather than toys, so everyone would typically be included on gifts FOR someone else.
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Old Yesterday, 01:31 PM
 
16,368 posts, read 13,741,783 times
Reputation: 20354
Quote:
Originally Posted by kevxu View Post
This is a spin-off of the "prizes for everyone" mania. Sorry, folks life's not like that, and this is a gentle way for children to begin learning what should be a very basic lesson.
How so? Birthdays are not achievements. Seems kind of weird to compare a birthday gift to a trophy.

A case could be made that that mentally gives rise to a sense of entitlement just for being born. Not sure I agree with that either, but it is the same sort of extrapolation argument.
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Old Yesterday, 06:42 PM
 
Location: California
1,043 posts, read 318,469 times
Reputation: 1839
No gift except for the birthday child. Does everything, every single thing have to be shared, or all inclusive? Can’t a child have their very own birthday celebration without having to make sure their siblings get a gift or their parents making sure. Siblings can win prizes at the party. When it’s their special day then they will get a gift.
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Old Yesterday, 07:44 PM
 
Location: 912 feet above sea level
2,176 posts, read 782,931 times
Reputation: 11912
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlaskaErik View Post
When it's their birthday. What you brought up is no different than everyone getting a trophy.
The tradition in western culture of celebrating a child's birthday with a party and a cake originated in Germany in the 18th century.

I bet there were reactionaries at the time who were aghast at that, too...
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Old Yesterday, 09:54 PM
 
8,812 posts, read 5,931,552 times
Reputation: 16433
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyFarm34 View Post
Yes, Iíve witnessed this with my family. I think itís very inappropriate regardless of age. Every kid deserves to feel special on their birthday without someone stealing the spotlight. Is this becoming a trend giving a small gift to a sibling as well when itís not their birthday? Kids need to learn the world doesnít revolve around them and be happy for others celebrating milestones such as birthdays
It's not their birthday! Why should they get a gift?
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Old Yesterday, 10:49 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
3,509 posts, read 5,579,551 times
Reputation: 4124
This everyone deserves something if one person is getting something is really getting out of hand. The real world doesn't work this way and people who were raised to accomplish things in order to get things (in this case becoming a year older) are surrounded by bitter crybaby entitled people who feel they deserve stuff for nothing.

This birthday idea could be STEP ONE in raising a child to have unrealistic expectations later in life.

Why has parenting become sooo overwhelmingly focused on indulging children's every whim rather than gradually preparing them for life as a stable and fully functional adults who can adequately deal with what life will hand them.
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Old Yesterday, 11:09 PM
 
1,402 posts, read 439,321 times
Reputation: 2172
All the birthday child's siblings and friends got and, nowadays get, to enjoy a wondrous day of choices...swings, pool, movies, games, dress up, sports, hair coloring, face painting, favorite pass times x 10 and with favorite people. And favorite foods and ice cream and cake. And not in a crazy wasteful manner. Some version according to age and wishes of the birthday child. What more should guests want of someone else's party?

AND the birthday kid gets presents, gets to go first, gets respected, gets to choose the kind of cake, kind of ice cream, kind of games, etc.

And...only adults full of love and peace (as hippy as that sounds) for the child may attend. I had and have no problem letting guests know that. From adults, no selfishness, no hissy fits, no anger.

And throughout the child's life sharing and caring and respect and love is taught so they don't end up selfish. And they are always ready for being helpful and respectful and a good team player at their friends' birthday parties.
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Old Today, 04:27 AM
 
Location: interior Alaska
4,266 posts, read 3,178,895 times
Reputation: 12919
Hobbits give other people presents on their birthdays!
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Old Today, 04:43 AM
 
Location: Ft Myers, FL
2,484 posts, read 1,179,160 times
Reputation: 4491
Depends on the motive. If parents need to give little Johnny a gift on Susie's birthday to prevent him from tearing up the house in a blind, jealous rage, then Johnny has bigger issues to worry about.
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