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Old Yesterday, 05:35 PM
 
Location: Lawrenceville, Pittsburgh
1,801 posts, read 1,486,066 times
Reputation: 1547

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
I wouldn't give him the bike in conjunction with his sister's birthday either, because that sets expectations very high.

Why not just give him the bike? If you think he'd benefit from it, then just say he's a big boy now, we're going to get you a big boy bike!

Maybe a week before her birthday party?
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
I would just give him the bike, but not at the siblings birthday party. The next day, the next week whatever.
This actually makes sense to me. We have it in the basement now, and her birthday isn’t for another month. Maybe the first nice day when I can be home during the day with my wife, we will just give it to him.
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Old Yesterday, 06:27 PM
 
8,990 posts, read 3,503,892 times
Reputation: 22694
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhoIsStanwix? View Post
This actually makes sense to me. We have it in the basement now, and her birthday isnít for another month. Maybe the first nice day when I can be home during the day with my wife, we will just give it to him.
That sounds like a great plan.

They look like a lot of fun -
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Old Yesterday, 06:28 PM
Status: "I don't have to agree." (set 28 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
8,416 posts, read 3,174,552 times
Reputation: 17664
I hope this doesn't become a trend.
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Old Yesterday, 06:40 PM
 
8,990 posts, read 3,503,892 times
Reputation: 22694
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
I hope this doesn't become a trend.
I guess parents can decide for themselves whether they only want to give gifts at birthdays and Christmas, or whether they will buy extras for their kids - like soccer equipment, or a guitar, or a microscope - at times when it seems appropriate.

For my family, that certainly was a "trend". If they wanted something that we wanted them to have, and seemed a positive thing, we got it for them.

Because yeah - I wanted my kids to have skim boards, although Christmas was far away.
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Old Yesterday, 07:31 PM
 
15,724 posts, read 17,479,904 times
Reputation: 15467
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhoIsStanwix? View Post
This actually makes sense to me. We have it in the basement now, and her birthday isnít for another month. Maybe the first nice day when I can be home during the day with my wife, we will just give it to him.
Sounds like a good plan!
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Old Yesterday, 08:26 PM
 
Location: USA
2,532 posts, read 1,930,267 times
Reputation: 4088
I guess only time will tell. The kid is 3 1/2. Her brother just turned 2. It was his birthday. It was a family gathering and of course he got presents. In the middle of the gift giving, Grandma pulls out a small gift bag with an outfit and hands it to the older sister. Their mom went along with it like no big deal.

I think they did it to help prevent a meltdown in the middle of her brother's birthday party and used it as a distraction while he was opening all his gifts. While I can understand they did that, I have to wonder if she'll expect a small gift every year on her brother's birthday??? Maybe, I'm overthinking things. And if there's a problem with jealousy between the siblings, I don't see how that's going to help in the long run.

When her brother was born, she wanted nothing to do with him and would lash out at him many times every day. It took a very long time for her to accept that he wasn't going anywhere and she eventually started being nicer to him.
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Old Yesterday, 09:33 PM
 
Location: Texas
612 posts, read 501,445 times
Reputation: 1865
We donít do birthday gifts. Birthdays has always been a family only celebration with the birthday child picking the restaurant of choice.

For those saying ďnoĒ what is the difference between *small* sibling gift and party favors? So you donít mind giving small gifts to friends but for siblings itís ďnoĒ?

Doesnít make sense.
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Old Yesterday, 09:40 PM
 
13,138 posts, read 6,272,810 times
Reputation: 12485
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoHoVe View Post
This everyone deserves something if one person is getting something is really getting out of hand. The real world doesn't work this way and people who were raised to accomplish things in order to get things (in this case becoming a year older) are surrounded by bitter crybaby entitled people who feel they deserve stuff for nothing.

This birthday idea could be STEP ONE in raising a child to have unrealistic expectations later in life.

Why has parenting become sooo overwhelmingly focused on indulging children's every whim rather than gradually preparing them for life as a stable and fully functional adults who can adequately deal with what life will hand them.
I think you are really blowing this out of proportion. And think about Aunts and grandmas who only get to see the kids on special occasions. They want to bring something for both kids or all the kids.
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Old Yesterday, 10:16 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
76,173 posts, read 68,063,255 times
Reputation: 73452
Quote:
Originally Posted by ncole1 View Post
Everyone, regardless of age, needs to accept that anybody can give a gift at any time to whomever they want, and that no one is entitled to everything. Does not matter if you are a child or adult, conservative or liberal, white or black or orange.
Then by all means, demonstrate that at random times throughout the year. A birthday is someone's special day. That doesn't mean they're "entitled to everything', because goes what? Everyone else in the room has their very own birthday, too, celebrated on the date of their birth. Kinda cool how life works out that way.

Letting each child have their own special day teaches the others in attendance (and in the family) how to be happy for others' happiness, without thinking "what's in it for ME". The others can wait their turn for their own birthday.
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Old Yesterday, 10:18 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
76,173 posts, read 68,063,255 times
Reputation: 73452
Quote:
Originally Posted by jencam View Post
I think you are really blowing this out of proportion. And think about Aunts and grandmas who only get to see the kids on special occasions. They want to bring something for both kids or all the kids.
They do? I've never known a grandparent who wanted this. Have you polled grandparents on this question?
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