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I totally agree with this, but I don't think having a birthday is some special achievement or performance.
I'm with you! My kids are grown now, but I seem to recall giving the other child a gift for the other one's birthday when they were very young, but I think we dropped that as they got older. As you can see, you do forget about these burning issues as the kids get older. I do agree with the thread title, that the gift should be "small".
I also agree with giving everyone prizes at party games. Good heavens, it's not the Olympics!
Yes, I’ve witnessed this with my family. I think it’s very inappropriate regardless of age. Every kid deserves to feel special on their birthday without someone stealing the spotlight. Is this becoming a trend giving a small gift to a sibling as well when it’s not their birthday? Kids need to learn the world doesn’t revolve around them and be happy for others celebrating milestones such as birthdays
Different strokes for different folks.
In some parts of the world the custom on your birthday is to take others out. So it is not like there is a correct answer to this one way or the other.
In our family, gifts are not owed based on the date. We get people gifts only because we want to give them something. We also tend to focus on experiences for big events like birthdays, holidays, etc. rather than toys, so everyone would typically be included on gifts FOR someone else.
This is a spin-off of the "prizes for everyone" mania. Sorry, folks life's not like that, and this is a gentle way for children to begin learning what should be a very basic lesson.
How so? Birthdays are not achievements. Seems kind of weird to compare a birthday gift to a trophy.
A case could be made that that mentally gives rise to a sense of entitlement just for being born. Not sure I agree with that either, but it is the same sort of extrapolation argument.
No gift except for the birthday child. Does everything, every single thing have to be shared, or all inclusive? Can’t a child have their very own birthday celebration without having to make sure their siblings get a gift or their parents making sure. Siblings can win prizes at the party. When it’s their special day then they will get a gift.
Yes, I’ve witnessed this with my family. I think it’s very inappropriate regardless of age. Every kid deserves to feel special on their birthday without someone stealing the spotlight. Is this becoming a trend giving a small gift to a sibling as well when it’s not their birthday? Kids need to learn the world doesn’t revolve around them and be happy for others celebrating milestones such as birthdays
It's not their birthday! Why should they get a gift?
This everyone deserves something if one person is getting something is really getting out of hand. The real world doesn't work this way and people who were raised to accomplish things in order to get things (in this case becoming a year older) are surrounded by bitter crybaby entitled people who feel they deserve stuff for nothing.
This birthday idea could be STEP ONE in raising a child to have unrealistic expectations later in life.
Why has parenting become sooo overwhelmingly focused on indulging children's every whim rather than gradually preparing them for life as a stable and fully functional adults who can adequately deal with what life will hand them.
All the birthday child's siblings and friends got and, nowadays get, to enjoy a wondrous day of choices...swings, pool, movies, games, dress up, sports, hair coloring, face painting, favorite pass times x 10 and with favorite people. And favorite foods and ice cream and cake. And not in a crazy wasteful manner. Some version according to age and wishes of the birthday child. What more should guests want of someone else's party?
AND the birthday kid gets presents, gets to go first, gets respected, gets to choose the kind of cake, kind of ice cream, kind of games, etc.
And...only adults full of love and peace (as hippy as that sounds) for the child may attend. I had and have no problem letting guests know that. From adults, no selfishness, no hissy fits, no anger.
And throughout the child's life sharing and caring and respect and love is taught so they don't end up selfish. And they are always ready for being helpful and respectful and a good team player at their friends' birthday parties.
Depends on the motive. If parents need to give little Johnny a gift on Susie's birthday to prevent him from tearing up the house in a blind, jealous rage, then Johnny has bigger issues to worry about.
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