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Old 04-13-2019, 06:47 AM
 
17 posts, read 4,638 times
Reputation: 30

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Roselvr View Post
You better be very sure if you make call to CPS because your marriage will suffer. Your hub will know it was you.
Thank you. He and I will make this decision together. We also stand to lose a significant inheritance if we do move forward with allegations. I hope that makes clear to you and others how troubled I genuinely am by her behavior. One respondent recognizes several red flags for intergenerational sexual trauma in the same description other people think is harmless. What a tough situation to sort through!
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Old 04-13-2019, 06:54 AM
 
17 posts, read 4,638 times
Reputation: 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
I totally agree that it's tough to picture someone holding a child by his penis through diapers and clothing, it's like trying to hold something through a pillow.
Yeah, sounds like a hold a lot of parents make, video for reference, notice how often this dad's hands come into contact with buttocks/crotch area. I don't see anything nefarious there.
[url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIvZHPeYy6Q[/url]
Sorry, but I donít see the part where this gentleman in the video is affectionately tapping this childís private. Or restraining his movement by cupping his crotch. Different thing entirely.
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Old 04-13-2019, 07:35 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
41,622 posts, read 40,373,524 times
Reputation: 79483
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amy Onymous View Post

We also stand to lose a significant inheritance if we do move forward with allegations.
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Old 04-13-2019, 08:04 AM
 
Location: Boston, MA
8,350 posts, read 7,355,574 times
Reputation: 7236
I understand wanting to give her benefit of the doubt, but this is seriously not ok. Who knows where it goes from there. Kids are really moldable, you really can't afford to take this risk.
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Old 04-13-2019, 08:09 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
41,622 posts, read 40,373,524 times
Reputation: 79483
I'm trying to imagine being an adult and working my way through repressed sexual abuse with a therapist, and finding out my aunt didn't want to say anything because she thought she might lose out on an inheritance.
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Old 04-13-2019, 08:26 AM
 
Location: here
24,813 posts, read 29,663,507 times
Reputation: 32199
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amy Onymous View Post
Sorry, but I donít see the part where this gentleman in the video is affectionately tapping this childís private. Or restraining his movement by cupping his crotch. Different thing entirely.
In your response to me, that's not what you said is happening. You said she was holding him BY THE LEG. These are 2 completely different things.
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Old 04-13-2019, 08:44 AM
Status: "I have strong opinions and won't apologize for them." (set 3 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
8,564 posts, read 3,241,636 times
Reputation: 18008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. In-Between View Post
If you were talking about a 3-year old girl, and your father-in-law was constantly finding flimsy reasons to touch her vagina, what would be your reaction to that? Would you really need to ask whether it was appropriate?
Exactly.

If this were a man doing the same thing, we wouldn't even be having this thread. The man would be sitting prison right now.
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Old 04-13-2019, 09:20 AM
 
Location: North Dakota
7,520 posts, read 8,757,977 times
Reputation: 10479
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
Exactly.

If this were a man doing the same thing, we wouldn't even be having this thread. The man would be sitting prison right now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. In-Between View Post
If you were talking about a 3-year old girl, and your father-in-law was constantly finding flimsy reasons to touch her vagina, what would be your reaction to that? Would you really need to ask whether it was appropriate?
Exactly. If this were a man he would be in prison or there would be a crowd with pitchforks and torches outside his house. It's no different if a woman is doing it.
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Old 04-13-2019, 09:34 AM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,088 posts, read 13,965,753 times
Reputation: 21954
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amy Onymous View Post
Sorry, but I don’t see the part where this gentleman in the video is affectionately tapping this child’s private. Or restraining his movement by cupping his crotch. Different thing entirely.
You notice where his hand is? That's my point, that just because an adult may hold an infant or toddler with their hand in the crotch area does not automatically mean something untoward is going on. Sometimes it is nothing more than getting a grip on a squirmy child. I don't know your experience around toddlers so AFAIK maybe you don't see it much and it causes you undue concern. OTOH we can't see what you see either, all I'm saying is you need to be certain that you aren't making accusations over a common behavior.
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Old 04-13-2019, 10:05 AM
 
Location: Dallas TX
14,865 posts, read 21,364,938 times
Reputation: 21740
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
I'm trying to imagine being an adult and working my way through repressed sexual abuse with a therapist, and finding out my aunt didn't want to say anything because she thought she might lose out on an inheritance.
Right?!

OP you need to just call her out when she is doing it. If you see it again tell her right then and there. Donít leave her alone with your son, you arenít comfortable, you think something may be going on. Trust your gut. A motherís intuition should be listened to.
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