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Old 04-15-2019, 07:54 AM
Status: "PSALM 91" (set 13 days ago)
 
3,959 posts, read 3,183,988 times
Reputation: 5188

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I do not and never have forced my children to eat everything on their plate before they could leave the table. If they didn't eat their dinner, then they didn't get something else later, but I didn't force them to eat.
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Old 04-15-2019, 07:57 AM
Status: "PSALM 91" (set 13 days ago)
 
3,959 posts, read 3,183,988 times
Reputation: 5188
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post

BTW, Spongebob is a fabulous cartoon. Your daughter has really missed the mark there, and I mean that.


Yes, "Spongebob" is brilliant, especially seasons 2 through 5. My kids used to attend Christian schools, and none of their classmates were allowed to watch it, and they were shocked that my kids could. Heck, I watch it with them and we all laugh hysterically. It's a pizza night tradition!
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Old 04-15-2019, 08:07 AM
 
655 posts, read 265,690 times
Reputation: 1927
My parents were extremely strict and religious but the only thing that I've kept is etiquette and manners. Otherwise, our children have been/are being raised (teenagers now) to police themselves, so to speak. They get to make mistakes and experience the consequences. We discuss things constantly. My mother thinks our children are "backtalkers" because they DARE to disagree with me sometimes and I DARE to allow myself to change my mind when my way isn't actually the BEST way and they've convinced me of it. That is "cowering to your children's whims" and completely unacceptable. "Backtalk" is, apparently, cured by a lightning-quick slap on the face. They prefer to have their children kiss their a**es to their face and pretend they aren't lying when they clearly are. For them, good parenting is all about being SHOWN "respect" instead of actually having it.

And they really wonder why - despite having so many children - none of their grandchildren are ever eager to go to their house. Even though they were NEVER allowed to spank or slap any of them, kids can tell when an adult WANTS to slap or spank them. It doesn't really foster a good relationship. heh.
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Old 04-15-2019, 08:36 AM
 
Location: Florida
5,423 posts, read 3,517,078 times
Reputation: 10322
Quote:
Originally Posted by calgirlinnc View Post
I do not and never have forced my children to eat everything on their plate before they could leave the table. If they didn't eat their dinner, then they didn't get something else later, but I didn't force them to eat.
Oh yes, that's a good one that I'd forgotten about. We have always encouraged the kids to only take what they'd eat, but there was never any consequence for taking too much. We didn't ever force them or even ask them to eat past the point that they felt full or done eating. And they were responsible for serving themselves (from pans or serving bowls on the table) from a young age. When they were small, I'd tell them they had to at least try a bite of broccoli (or whatever the "yucky" equivalent was) and wouldn't let them just pile their plate with mashed potatoes and nothing else, of course. As a child, my mom put food on my plate and we were pressured to be members of the "clean plate club." My older brother and I struggle with our weight now as adults (my younger brother does not but he is very active and very aware of his weight and will make prompt changes if he gains a few lbs) and I have always believed that that had something to do with it.
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Old 04-15-2019, 09:30 AM
 
3,462 posts, read 3,055,866 times
Reputation: 10334
I thought my parents were too strict in raising us. I'm more lenient. I think I do more explaining to my kids on why I want things a certain way than my parents ever did. It's a different world from when I grew up. I needed to do things differently. It's really easy to critique others parenting style. My parents did the best they knew how. I appreciate that.
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Old 04-15-2019, 09:48 AM
 
Location: Winterpeg
815 posts, read 303,871 times
Reputation: 3412
Times changed between when I was born (late 60s) and my daughter (mid 90s), but my and my husband's parenting style was very much like our parents. We never bought into the "oh, it's so scary these days" crappola the media was/is feeding.


My parents were involved with us kids and our activities, didn't hit us, let us have some freedom but didn't let us run willy-nilly, taught and expected good manners but weren't rigid on much else. Like me and my husband, my daughter mostly made good choices, but did some bonehead things, too. Such is growing up.
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Old 04-15-2019, 12:35 PM
 
Location: Central, NJ
2,390 posts, read 4,976,116 times
Reputation: 3264
My "freedom" was borderline neglect, so no, my son won't be getting more than I had. I do find it troubling that kids don't seem to have ANY unsupervised time at all any more. I don't mean for them to be out fighting or being bullied, but working out their own rules on games and things seems to be lacking. The times of adults hovering over kids appointing turns and managing every move doesn't seem to be ending as they move from preschool to elementary school. They need to gain independence and learn to problem solve on their own, and I worry that there are fewer and fewer opportunities for that to happen.
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Old 04-15-2019, 01:20 PM
 
16,868 posts, read 3,745,871 times
Reputation: 5183
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Skeffington View Post
If you are of legal age, and you are paying for your own meal, why aren't you "allowed" to?
because they dont want people from church to see me drinking.
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Old 04-15-2019, 03:39 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,075 posts, read 19,974,290 times
Reputation: 26130
My kids have different freedoms than I had. I had the freedom to roam the neighborhood and beyond, as long as I was done with chores (which were pretty much never ending). My parents would go out of town for a week or so and leave me home starting at age 12, responsible for my 9 and 1 year old sisters. I could do whatever I wanted during that time, as long as they were cared for, the house was clean, and we got a ride to church from a neighbor. I was allowed to get a job at 16, as long as it didn't interfere with church, chores or school. They did have strict rules about what I said, what books I read or movies I watched (the Catholic church put out a list of movies that were not okay), who my friends were, when friends could come over, what I could wear, how much I could eat, what words I could use, who I could date, what time I had to be home, (10pm even when I was 18 and in college), etc. Punishment was harsh and immediate...I still have back pain from getting kicked in the back so much as a teenager.

My kids can make their own choices about what they watch, read, listen to, say, believe in, wear, eat, etc. I'm raising people who can think for themselves and decide what they want. Nobody hits or yells in our house. I don't go off for a weekend or a week and leave them alone. I've suggested to them that they don't work other than volunteer work until they're done with high school so that they have time to focus on their studies and also some free time, but if one of them really wants a job, that's okay.
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Old 04-15-2019, 07:35 PM
 
183 posts, read 77,108 times
Reputation: 395
I had so much freedom in the 70's but am far more conservative and responsible than younger generations. We were expected to know right from wrong and act on it alot more than teens and young adults do now. Maybe it was simply that in that time there was no internet influence and the main influence was a moral code at home.
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