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Old 04-17-2019, 02:13 PM
 
19,929 posts, read 13,113,746 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
I find this whole thing where parents invite the child's classmates to their birthday party, just plain weird. Does your kid not have neighborhood friends? Cousins? Family? Those are the ones that should be at a party. I didn't have many parties for my son (maybe 3 or 4...if that) but I never sent a single invitation. I told the parents about the party - since I actually KNEW them all. My son never wanted to have anyone at his parties that was not an actual friend, so it never even entered my mind to invite anyone else. I didn't worry about anyone behaving or feeling out of place...and honestly I would not want a bunch of strange kids in my home anyway.


Grew up in the 1970's and it was common then, and FWIU long before. Probably going back to pre-WW2 or so especially with the rise of middle class households.
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Old 04-18-2019, 03:26 AM
 
2,731 posts, read 1,464,947 times
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I am not sure if my post was seen as attacking the child. My point was that you are likely to get more RSVPs from people that can expect to engage with you in the future than people who don't expect it. You kind of have to put yourself out there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
Same here. It's certainly okay to critique the parent or the situation, but it's kind of nasty to attack the child's character.
There are also very popular kids who wind up with a low turnout at their parties. Sometimes that's just how it happens.
We are talking about RSVPs here. Not low turn out. Kids who had the biggest turnout did exactly what I mentioned in my post. The child asked the other children at school if they were able to attend the party. There were still many who did not RSVP even after their child said yes.

It would make a difference if I understood what RSVP meant. Does it mean "yes"? Or does it mean "Yes" or "No"? I can't tell if people have answered "no" to the OP or if no answers have been given. If the OP received all "no", I wouldn't be posting on this thread.

Last edited by elyn02; 04-18-2019 at 03:40 AM..
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Old 04-18-2019, 07:56 AM
 
10,101 posts, read 12,508,180 times
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If most of the invitees don't show up, then the kid will have learned a lesson either way. By the age of 10 he should know which of his classmates are going to show up. Maybe some kids invite all their classmates because they think that is the thing to do, or maybe it was done the previous school year.

It is better to invite close friends and family. But it will be rough if he doesn't have any other family members in town. I think some kids prefer just their family and close friends if they have them. But it can be rough for kids who are less popular at that age.

I had the kindergarten party where everyone showed up. But I had a party one year where I invited all the guys in my class, but only about 5 or so showed up, they were my closest friends that year. The funny thing is, I didn't care about big parties, or even having parties period, but I just thought that was the thing to do and was expected. And I noticed that other parties I went to around that time were just like mine had turned out anyway.

I can remember one year certain girls tried to plan parties and would invite pairs of boys and girls, some of them whom they barely knew. Most of the boys did not attend them.
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Old 04-18-2019, 08:25 AM
 
658 posts, read 268,173 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elyn02 View Post
I am not sure if my post was seen as attacking the child. My point was that you are likely to get more RSVPs from people that can expect to engage with you in the future than people who don't expect it. You kind of have to put yourself out there.



We are talking about RSVPs here. Not low turn out. Kids who had the biggest turnout did exactly what I mentioned in my post. The child asked the other children at school if they were able to attend the party. There were still many who did not RSVP even after their child said yes.

It would make a difference if I understood what RSVP meant. Does it mean "yes"? Or does it mean "Yes" or "No"? I can't tell if people have answered "no" to the OP or if no answers have been given. If the OP received all "no", I wouldn't be posting on this thread.
RSVP is an acronym for "Please respond," in French: Respondez, S'il Vous Plait.

RSVP requires an answer of YES, I am coming or NO, I am not coming. These days, people often don't respond at all. It's very rude.

I once had ZERO RSVPs for a work party. I made sure we had other plans and were not home. Probably a dozen people started texting me that they were there but we weren't. "No one responded. There is no party without any guests. We made other plans."

It made the point. I've never invited a single one of them to anything again. I am not an on-call party service.
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Old 04-18-2019, 09:35 AM
Status: "I have strong opinions and won't apologize for them." (set 13 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
8,701 posts, read 3,298,380 times
Reputation: 18202
Quote:
Originally Posted by elyn02 View Post
I am not sure if my post was seen as attacking the child. My point was that you are likely to get more RSVPs from people that can expect to engage with you in the future than people who don't expect it. You kind of have to put yourself out there..
It was not your post.

I cannot point out who it was, but I will say, there are posters here who don't have kids so their viewpoints are often coming from a place of no background or experience with being a parent. Sure, they are "allowed" to post on parenting boards but I don't know why they'd want to.
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Old 04-18-2019, 10:21 AM
 
497 posts, read 227,667 times
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It's been years since my now adult children's school days but their parties consisted of inviting a few friends that they played with on a regular basis.

When my daughter was in middle school, there was a trend of renting the local fire hall and inviting large numbers of kids. The customary gift was a $10 bill enclosed in a birthday card. The birthday child made out well. We never did those type parties. At that age, it was a special activity with 2-3 close friends.

But this was back in the 90's. These days it seems that all life events---from pregnancies to funerals--- are celebrated with much drama, expense, and other excesses.
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Old 04-18-2019, 10:49 AM
 
Location: East Cobb, GA—>Dallas, TX
1,005 posts, read 453,506 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
Hmm. To "almost" his entire class.

My guess is, those he didn't send invitations to, might have responded positively?

By the 10th birthday you kind of know who will show up at a party, and who your kid's friends are.

This isn't like a kindergarten party.
Yeah by the time my kids were 10, they stopped having entire class parties. It would usually just be 10 or so of their friends.
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Old 04-18-2019, 11:55 AM
 
8,979 posts, read 13,098,884 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
Same here. It's certainly okay to critique the parent or the situation, but it's kind of nasty to attack the child's character.
There are also very popular kids who wind up with a low turnout at their parties. Sometimes that's just how it happens.
Exactly. Sometimes it's just bad timing. People are busy and usually some other kid's party is not their top priority.


I feel bad for this boy. I would gladly attend his party.


I hope he has a great turnout and a fun day
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Old 04-18-2019, 03:35 PM
 
2,731 posts, read 1,464,947 times
Reputation: 2956
Quote:
Originally Posted by LieslMet View Post
RSVP is an acronym for "Please respond," in French: Respondez, S'il Vous Plait.

RSVP requires an answer of YES, I am coming or NO, I am not coming. These days, people often don't respond at all. It's very rude.

I once had ZERO RSVPs for a work party. I made sure we had other plans and were not home. Probably a dozen people started texting me that they were there but we weren't. "No one responded. There is no party without any guests. We made other plans."

It made the point. I've never invited a single one of them to anything again. I am not an on-call party service.
Wow! I can't believe that nobody from work would RSVP, but then show up. I do know there is an attitude of "I didn't ask for the invitation so I am not obligated to respond." My guess is that they don't want to commit just in case something "better" comes along. So thoughtless.

Maybe this generation never learned RSVP or bothered to look it up. Invitations may need to be more explicit and go step-by-step for those who can't handle multistep directions:

Are you coming? Circle one: Yes or No. Then text me your answer.

But that is pretty rude as well so I would rather verbally ask one more time. I wouldn't send out a text though as they can easily ignore that.


Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
It was not your post.

I cannot point out who it was, but I will say, there are posters here who don't have kids so their viewpoints are often coming from a place of no background or experience with being a parent. Sure, they are "allowed" to post on parenting boards but I don't know why they'd want to.
Thank you for clarifying. After rereading my post, I wish I could have worded it better. Sorry if I sounded snippy.
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Old 04-18-2019, 03:49 PM
 
Location: North Dakota
7,531 posts, read 8,785,313 times
Reputation: 10525
Quote:
Originally Posted by BugsyPal View Post
Obviously something else your parents "never did": sit you down and explain if you cannot say anything nice to zip it.
The post was honest. Sometimes the truth hurts.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LieslMet View Post
RSVP is an acronym for "Please respond," in French: Respondez, S'il Vous Plait.

RSVP requires an answer of YES, I am coming or NO, I am not coming. These days, people often don't respond at all. It's very rude.

I once had ZERO RSVPs for a work party. I made sure we had other plans and were not home. Probably a dozen people started texting me that they were there but we weren't. "No one responded. There is no party without any guests. We made other plans."

It made the point. I've never invited a single one of them to anything again. I am not an on-call party service.
Had you actually planned on having a party and then made other plans when there were no RSVPs?
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