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Old Yesterday, 08:29 AM
 
10,300 posts, read 8,227,868 times
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RSVP is short for "respondez sil vous ples", French for "respond if you please". Perhaps that "if" - "sil" is what causes confusion. A less precise but more accurate translation of the meaning, not a word-for-word translation, would be "please respond".

Yet people don't. Even many of those who should know better.

Maybe it's just another indication of the general lowering of civility and good manners in today's climate.
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Old Yesterday, 10:30 AM
 
Location: Toronto
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My daughter entered Jr. Kindergarten this year. We got an invite from a parent from a message bag. it was over a long weekend. We just forgot about it since one among many notices and we didn't know the parent.

Overall, I would avoid this invite the whole class thing. Stick with closer friends and family.
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Old Yesterday, 12:13 PM
 
1,116 posts, read 754,503 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blistex649 View Post
My daughter entered Jr. Kindergarten this year. We got an invite from a parent from a message bag. it was over a long weekend. We just forgot about it since one among many notices and we didn't know the parent.

Overall, I would avoid this invite the whole class thing. Stick with closer friends and family.
I agree, next time forget the whole class thing and just invite real friends
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Old Today, 03:35 AM
 
2,748 posts, read 1,470,819 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sage 80 View Post
I find that classmates' parents are usually bad at sending RSVPs--unless they already know you. In order to make sure there are a good number of guests at the party, I always invite others besides classmates.

If you think many of the classmates won't show up, invite other people with children the same age as yours, like relatives, friends, and neighbors.
I agree.

Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144 View Post

Meanwhile, to what extend does a host hound the people they've invited for an answer? Isn't it also considered rude to pressure people to attend your party?
The rule for my family is to ask twice and to do it two different ways. The different ways are card, text, phone call, email, or ask in person. I prefer 'ask in person' as the second choice for my daughter since I want her practicing that particular interacting skill with people we don't really know. If people feel we are pressuring them to attend by asking a second time, we are not a good match anyway. The best thing they could have done was to RSVP "no" the first time.

Last edited by elyn02; Today at 03:44 AM..
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Old Today, 09:29 AM
 
8,974 posts, read 13,121,112 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144 View Post
Unfortunately, I've seen other people suggest before, and it's probably true, that people wait until the last minute to RSVP because they're waiting to see if something better comes along. Mind you, some people do have schedules that might mean they don't know until the closer to the event, but I would hope they would RSVP as soon as they *did* know.





Maybe the kid was the one who requested the party. Maybe he was the one who picked out who he thinks will come. Maybe they decided to have the party hoping that it will make more kids want to hang out with them (this kind of thing has a long tradition). Maybe they figured kids who might not play with him on the playground will at least show up for a party. Maybe they're new to the area and want to use it to help his classmates get to know him (the first birthday I had after we moved, my birthday party invited every girl in my class).




What makes you think OP would deliberately exclude the most friendly/considerate kids in the class? Maybe the ones they didn't invite are his enemies.





The real question here is, why are schools organizing school-sanctioned events to which the entire student body isn't invited/welcome (assuming they're not club events that have limited membership, like swim-team events or computer-club events)?



This isn't just any random event they're going to. Nobody should have to have people they don't like at their own party. I'd rather have no party and eat cake alone sitting on my couch than have one where only people I can't stand/who are jerks to me show up, so they can have fun on my dime.




Having a party with your aunts and uncles and grandparents is not the same as having one with your friends.




If the OP had received all "no," they probably wouldn't have posted this thread. They don't need to wonder whether they need to cancel the party if they know for sure no one is coming-- they wouldn't have a choice as you can't have a party without guests. I'm thinking they've heard nothing at all, which means they haven't a clue if people are going to just show up on the day of or not.

Meanwhile, to what extend does a host hound the people they've invited for an answer? Isn't it also considered rude to pressure people to attend your party?




Probably because all posts show up in the "new posts" lists. Probably because this isn't just a parenting issue but a social issue that all people deal with in their lives. You don't have to have kids to know when people are rude not to RSVP. You don't have to have kids to have been a kid who has probably had or been to parties, to have friends or relatives who have kids' parties, etc.




I could see it as them not wanting to have to scramble at the last minute to provide vastly more food than they were initially told they needed/were able to plan for in advance. Serving food to a large number of people requires advance planning; it's not something you can just do at the last second, pulling supplies and people and time out of thin air instantly. Making more food means you need to make sure you have more ingredients on hand, more employees for making and serving, making extra food takes more time (not nice when there are a bunch of hungry people staring at you angrily while it's all still cooking), etc. All of this while they still also have other customers to serve with this limited amount of supplies, employees, and time. It sucks for the customer who has rude guests, but it also sucks for the venue, who is risking losing business if other customers are inconvenienced by having resources pulled away, the party customer is angry because extra food doesn't appear instantly, etc.




Who has a landline anymore?? Who wants their phone number published for scammers to pluck like ripe grapes from vine?




Wouldn't "friends from the block" go to the same school?




Why would you want to sit around an empty house hoping people show up and feeling worse and worse about yourself, while looking around at all of the preparations you've spent time and money on, when you have no evidence anyone is coming? Why is it such a bad thing to want to save her son that pain? Especially since they could be better using that time going out and doing something actually fun?

Not necessarily. Some districts have weird cut-offs for the zoning. Also, just b/c they live on the block doesn't mean they are in the son's class if they do go to his school.


Classmate & friend from the block are not always the same thing. Classmate is someone from the class.
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