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Old 05-03-2019, 12:08 PM
 
Location: Where rhotic consonants are either absent or intrusive
8,861 posts, read 5,154,749 times
Reputation: 14514

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Quote:
Originally Posted by NVplumber View Post
The bullies I dealt with growing up all came from houses where the parents were drunks and put no effort into raising them. That was grade and middle school.

<snip>

Parents not involved because they were to busy with drugs and booze. Townies. Non wholesome lifestyle.
Oh thing I have learned about the schools in my area is this: even when it occurs on school grounds, the schools are reluctant to deal with bullying children because they don't want to deal with their bully parents. You know the type: loud-mouth, hard-ass types, alternate between ignoring or verbally abusing their kids... but hell hath no fury if the principal calls home; they're like a bat out of hell defending their kids. Its easier to turn a blind eye, unless the target's parents file a police report. BTDT.

I mean, the schools go to great lengths to hold assemblies, declare the schools to be "bully-free zones"... which does help curtail the typical "mild" bullying with the younger kids, but that's about it. There is a disconnect where some of the kids just don't quite make the connection that what they are doing is bullying. And, of course, the true bullies don't GAF and they know they can get away with it.
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Old 05-03-2019, 09:50 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,239 posts, read 13,986,109 times
Reputation: 29404
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarnivalGal View Post
Honestly, most of the bullies I have come into contact with have parents who are also bullies or at the very least complete a-holes. And I'm in education, so I've seen a lot of them. The apple doesn't usually fall far from the tree.
This. It is my understanding that school bullies are bullied (often) at home.
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Old 05-03-2019, 11:12 PM
 
Location: NNJ
9,242 posts, read 5,224,815 times
Reputation: 10140
It's the parents. Learned response to ones own insecurities.

I stood up...eventually... . Got my a$$ handed to me a few times but held my own... Got a few good ones in.. Got better at fighting back.

Then they moved on to a perceived weaker victim.

Honestly I was never the same afterwards...... Not better or worse.. Just different... But the bullying stopped. All my friends said I was angrier at perceived injustices or wrongs against people I cared for. Usually standing up for them if necessary.... Always the protector... Person to rely on...

Here's the thing... I was a dedicated student even if my grades weren't high and ended up in detention a few times fighting back. WTF! The system creates victims of abuse because they get punished for standing up.
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Old 05-04-2019, 05:49 AM
 
26,242 posts, read 24,283,675 times
Reputation: 15906
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ginge McFantaPants View Post
Oh thing I have learned about the schools in my area is this: even when it occurs on school grounds, the schools are reluctant to deal with bullying children because they don't want to deal with their bully parents. You know the type: loud-mouth, hard-ass types, alternate between ignoring or verbally abusing their kids... but hell hath no fury if the principal calls home; they're like a bat out of hell defending their kids. Its easier to turn a blind eye, unless the target's parents file a police report. BTDT.

I mean, the schools go to great lengths to hold assemblies, declare the schools to be "bully-free zones"... which does help curtail the typical "mild" bullying with the younger kids, but that's about it. There is a disconnect where some of the kids just don't quite make the connection that what they are doing is bullying. And, of course, the true bullies don't GAF and they know they can get away with it.
AMEN, a man who used to work with our team used to say, "you should have to take a test to be a parent!"
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Old 05-04-2019, 05:51 AM
 
2,816 posts, read 1,495,284 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
AMEN, a man who used to work with our team used to say, "you should have to take a test to be a parent!"
All tests are culturally biased, except for 1 sperm + 1 egg = 1 baby.
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Old 05-04-2019, 05:54 AM
 
26,242 posts, read 24,283,675 times
Reputation: 15906
Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran View Post
This. It is my understanding that school bullies are bullied (often) at home.
some, yes, but I still say, after watching some videos of parents scaring their kids. and other videos of how kids have melt downs when they can't have their way, plus watching how utterly inhuman people are on forums to each other, ya just got to shake your head and ask, "and you have children".

yes, I agree, but children parrot their parents...and even if a parent hates the president and becomes very vocal about it, calling him names calling voters names or anyone who doesn't agree with that person, there to is where the kids get it. They think that is appropriate behavior...and normal, b/c their parents do it.

how bout the parents who stand on the sidelines of their childs sports events ad bully the ref or the coach, screaming at them or the other team...there to is where the kids get it...

again, I know coaches who have quit coach due to how bad the parents are...and can you imagine how embarrassed the kid is when his dad acts as such.

There is so much of this going on today, people attacking each other for wearing a freagin hat Are you serious ??????
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Old 05-04-2019, 07:48 AM
 
Location: USA
145 posts, read 50,110 times
Reputation: 598
Bullying is the direct result of a poor home environment, coupled with our very angry, in-your-face, uncouth society. As a survivor, I would say to the kids - and adults who experience bullying - and yes, adults DO bully other adults -- remember that there are people who love you, kind souls who have, in all likelihood, walked in your shoes, and you are not alone.

I just cannot believe, that in these great days of enlightenment and awareness, that this kind of behavior is still going on. But it is. Abuse is rampant, and directed among anyone, be it elder, child, animal - literally makes me sick to my stomach.

We've lost our way as a society, and only we can get back on the right track. Creme and LV Plumber, you are examples of how this is done. Speak up. Stand up. Never give up.
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Old 05-04-2019, 09:01 AM
 
26,242 posts, read 24,283,675 times
Reputation: 15906
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheOldPuss View Post
Bullying is the direct result of a poor home environment, coupled with our very angry, in-your-face, uncouth society. As a survivor, I would say to the kids - and adults who experience bullying - and yes, adults DO bully other adults -- remember that there are people who love you, kind souls who have, in all likelihood, walked in your shoes, and you are not alone.

I just cannot believe, that in these great days of enlightenment and awareness, that this kind of behavior is still going on. But it is. Abuse is rampant, and directed among anyone, be it elder, child, animal - literally makes me sick to my stomach.

We've lost our way as a society, and only we can get back on the right track. Creme and LV Plumber, you are examples of how this is done. Speak up. Stand up. Never give up.
yup, it is very depressing to me, to see how ugly people are to each other, how they mock each other etc....You are absolutely right, our society has gotten worse...it's a shame...
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Old 05-04-2019, 09:33 AM
 
2,816 posts, read 1,495,284 times
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Bullying is a process. You can't isolate it to a single event. The bully usually has rules and expectations and if you don't meet them or comply with them, they will give you hell for it.
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Old 05-05-2019, 08:01 AM
 
Location: NW Nevada
14,045 posts, read 11,494,732 times
Reputation: 13006
Quote:
Originally Posted by elyn02 View Post
Bullying is a process. You can't isolate it to a single event. The bully usually has rules and expectations and if you don't meet them or comply with them, they will give you hell for it.

A big reason school bullies targeted me was because of my physical appearance. I had platinum colored hair and was the only boy in the school who did. I stuck out. The nail that sticks out gets hammered. All manner of nasty insults started it off, which I just let roll off me, but naturally it escalated into physical force.


That's when they found out that was a mistake. Getting hit didn't scare me one bit and I hit back. With gratuitous force. That ended any contempt for my looks. Besides, the girls loved them. LOL, my platinum hair and blue eyes coupled with the fact I was way tougher than I may have looked to some earned me one or two crushes from "popular" girls.


Once it became common knowledge I was a ranch kid after a couple thrashings I delivered the bullies moved on and gave me a respectful amount of space. My son's experiences were similar but he started earlier than I did with the thrashings. It didn't get past the verbal abuse with him. The nasty insults set him off and he just put an immediate stop to things. But he always had witnesses , students and teachers, who backed him up.


LOL, one incident sticks out for me. He was on the bus, sitting with my ex's daughter. He was in first grade and a third grader in the seat in front of him was giving him hell and wouldn't let up. His step sister warned the kid he best back off, and so did the bus driver. Did he listen? No. Told him. Didn't listen. So my son bailed over the back of the seat and landed square in the middle of the kid and put a mud hole there. A kid two years his senior, and he put the spurs to him.


I had to go into the office of course and talk to the vice principal but the bus drivers report had it covered. He made it plain the kid had every inch of the beating coming plus he was a repeat offender. He got kicked off the bus. Yes bullies have a specific set of rules they follow in picking targets.


But sometimes the reaction they expect from their choice of targets doesn't work out how they expect. They use criteria like size, age, appearance and such but those features can be deceiving. Lessons learned are best learned the hard way. If it hurts, one doesn't forget the point of the lesson.
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