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Old 04-16-2019, 05:29 AM
 
26,135 posts, read 24,192,520 times
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Before I start this thread, please note, that not all bullying comes from the one source I speak of....but, it's a start, for a realization to a real problem.

My son was bullied in school, the kid that did the bullying had flunked several grades and of course was taller than all the rest of the children.

He'd corner the kids, alone somewhere and threatened to beat them up so badly that no one would recognize who they were when he was finished if they refused to give him their lunch money.

I called the school, they told me they bought the parents in and called them several times to no avail. They told me I was welcome to call them, but all I would get is F this and F that from them. I did call them and found out the latter to be on target.

My son was loosing weight, and starved by the time he came home from school...he was grumpy, losing sleep, it really weighed on him terrible....and I can understand why kids commit suicide...they want it to stop and they don't know what else to do to make it stop.

So I taught my son to fight back...and I'm not saying it's the right thing to do, but I didn't know what else to do at the time....the problem was solved.

But this kid's parents were abusive to each other and to him and thought it was ok....

As parents we have a very essential and responsible job, to our children, to society and to us....

I know a woman who left her husband, because he is an adult bully. His own sister fears him. Guess what, their one daughter bullies her own mother.


Identifying Bullying
https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/bullies.html
Most kids have been teased by a sibling or a friend at some point. And it's not usually harmful when done in a playful, friendly, and mutual way, and both kids find it funny. But when teasing becomes hurtful, unkind, and constant, it crosses the line into bullying and needs to stop.


Please share your story.

Last edited by Miss Blue; 04-16-2019 at 02:58 PM.. Reason: Deleted most of the copy/paste to be inkine with copyright rule
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Old 04-16-2019, 09:35 AM
 
9,000 posts, read 13,134,990 times
Reputation: 4994
Quote:
Originally Posted by cremebrulee View Post
Before I start this thread, please note, that not all bullying comes from the one source I speak of....but, it's a start, for a realization to a real problem.

My son was bullied in school, the kid that did the bullying had flunked several grades and of course was taller than all the rest of the children.

He'd corner the kids, alone somewhere and threatened to beat them up so badly that no one would recognize who they were when he was finished if they refused to give him their lunch money.

I called the school, they told me they bought the parents in and called them several times to no avail. They told me I was welcome to call them, but all I would get is F this and F that from them. I did call them and found out the latter to be on target.

My son was loosing weight, and starved by the time he came home from school...he was grumpy, losing sleep, it really weighed on him terrible....and I can understand why kids commit suicide...they want it to stop and they don't know what else to do to make it stop.

So I taught my son to fight back...and I'm not saying it's the right thing to do, but I didn't know what else to do at the time....the problem was solved.

But this kid's parents were abusive to each other and to him and thought it was ok....

As parents we have a very essential and responsible job, to our children, to society and to us....

I know a woman who left her husband, because he is an adult bully. His own sister fears him. Guess what, their one daughter bullies her own mother.


Identifying Bullying
https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/bullies.html


Please share your story.
One of the people who bullied me all throughout my schooling applied for the assistant job I was hiring for last year. Needless to say, he's still a jerk and I threw his resume right into the garbage.


It's a wonderful feeling to be a director and then someone who bullied you is applying to be your assistant ahh that amused me (I don't think he realized it was my job)

Last edited by Miss Blue; 04-16-2019 at 03:01 PM..
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Old 04-16-2019, 09:54 AM
 
4,248 posts, read 8,063,679 times
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I am usually more aggressive when it comes to someone bullying my child. I write complaints to school boards, if the school is wishy-washy in their response. And/or, my kids change schools. One time a school seemed to have exceeded me (!!) in standing for my child; they invited a police officer who interviewed the bully and his parents, and my child, then the school board moved the bully into another school, and the police opened a juvenile offender file on the bully.
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Old 04-16-2019, 11:48 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
1,820 posts, read 2,354,994 times
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We used to have some bullies who would play in our cul-de-sac. We didn't have kids yet but...they would bully US ADULTS...I would sigh heavily when I would come home from work to find them playing, only to have them stare me down as I drove by and sometimes swear at me or yell at me while I was in my car. They would purposely walk right in front of our cars or pretend to throw the ball at us. I'm pretty sure they called me a B-word on more than one occasion.


I HATED them. It all made sense one afternoon when I was watching TV & heard a sound. I muted the TV & went to the window to find one of the kids' fathers in the cul-de-sac playing ball, and screaming at his son because he didn't catch the ball. He called his son names I will not repeat, in front of all of his friends, while his son sat there on the curb with his head in his hands. I felt for him.


My husband acted like it was just me, saying "kids will be kids," but recently a mom stepped up on social media, posting about a kid in our neighborhood yelling something racist in front of her home. Other moms chimed in, saying many of the things that happened to me are happening to them around town. I guess our town is just riddled with bullies...probably with terrible parents....or something.
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Old 04-16-2019, 04:32 PM
 
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Honestly, most of the bullies I have come into contact with have parents who are also bullies or at the very least complete a-holes. And I'm in education, so I've seen a lot of them. The apple doesn't usually fall far from the tree.
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Old 04-17-2019, 05:20 AM
 
26,135 posts, read 24,192,520 times
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Quote:
jrsydevil82 We used to have some bullies who would play in our cul-de-sac. We didn't have kids yet but...they would bully US ADULTS...I would sigh heavily when I would come home from work to find them playing, only to have them stare me down as I drove by and sometimes swear at me or yell at me while I was in my car. They would purposely walk right in front of our cars or pretend to throw the ball at us. I'm pretty sure they called me a B-word on more than one occasion.
I know how sad it makes you, or it did me, as the same thing happened....but I took care of it...quick...they were little kids and still impressionable...the one kid said the F-word....basically I didn't want them to hit my car with a hard ball, while I was passing...I scared the kid good...so hopefully he thought better of being an a...hole in the future. Parents do not realize these days how impressionable little kids are, and how they can either hurt them or help them grow.


Quote:
I HATED them. It all made sense one afternoon when I was watching TV & heard a sound. I muted the TV & went to the window to find one of the kids' fathers in the cul-de-sac playing ball, and screaming at his son because he didn't catch the ball. He called his son names I will not repeat, in front of all of his friends, while his son sat there on the curb with his head in his hands. I felt for him.
what is so sad, is, there are so many young parents like this out there....I'm hearing it from a lot of adults who coach, and teach...also, people in Church...and not all kids are bad, but there sure is a lot of kids out there who were not raised properly. The devastating part of this story is the sadness in the child, never to be able to please his father...and he'll adopt his father's character and grow up to treat his kids the same way....but the saving grace is, maybe he won't....maybe he'll have a lot of adults in his life, that do not act like this and he'll chose who he wants to be like.


Quote:
My husband acted like it was just me, saying "kids will be kids," but recently a mom stepped up on social media, posting about a kid in our neighborhood yelling something racist in front of her home. Other moms chimed in, saying many of the things that happened to me are happening to them around town. I guess our town is just riddled with bullies...probably with terrible parents....or something.

No matter how hard to try to make people stop, it will never stop until people start to realize....it is changing, ever so slowly....and that's the positive part....so hold onto the positive and the future, and understand, that all people do not feel that way...someone once told me for every 10 arseholes you meet, you meet one really special person....be blessed in knowing that.
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Old 04-17-2019, 05:24 AM
 
26,135 posts, read 24,192,520 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CarnivalGal View Post
Honestly, most of the bullies I have come into contact with have parents who are also bullies or at the very least complete a-holes. And I'm in education, so I've seen a lot of them. The apple doesn't usually fall far from the tree.
yes, that is what a lot of teachers tell me.

It seems these days parents will do anything to put up a video on social media....and they don't realize, the harm they are doing to their child, not only that, but how utterly irresponsible, and you can only shake your head and think to yourself, "and these people are parents?" You gotta feel sorry for the kid...and wonder what the future will have in store for him or her. It's not only about you and your kid (and I'm saying this in general) but all the people your child will harm along the way, and you don't realize that until you grow older....what you do, and what you say, effects so so many other people...it can be positive or negative, but believe me, Karma always comes back to haunt you....and hurt others...

Raising children is such a rewarding experience, but with that, comes great responsibility to stay the course and do the right thing, no matter what.
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Old 04-17-2019, 05:53 PM
 
1,710 posts, read 680,864 times
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A lot of how bullies are stems from the home, as OP pointed out. It's a shame, really.

But OP, I'm glad your child was brave enough to stand up to the bully. Not all children are brave like that.

I do know an adult bully in real life and if you stand up to her, she wouldn't stop. She would only come back meaner because now she felt hurt and had to retaliate.
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Old 04-17-2019, 07:37 PM
 
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The best solution is to have many friends. Bullies tend to not mess with you if they know your friends will protect or defend you. A bully can beat up one person but when you are with friends, he will be too scared to mess with the whole group. Just knowing that threat alone, most bullies avoid it.



Bully pick the weak and the loners. They are easy prey. 1 person may be weak but a group of weak people together equals strength.
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Old 04-18-2019, 08:30 AM
 
26,135 posts, read 24,192,520 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sas318 View Post
A lot of how bullies are stems from the home, as OP pointed out. It's a shame, really.

But OP, I'm glad your child was brave enough to stand up to the bully. Not all children are brave like that.

I do know an adult bully in real life and if you stand up to her, she wouldn't stop. She would only come back meaner because now she felt hurt and had to retaliate.
yes, unfortunately some will do that....I believe no matter what we do, there will always be bullies in our lives...but child bullying is becoming a huge problem....and I believe that comes from several areas of how the present parents were raised....no, not everyone should get a trophy, and not everyone succeeds at all things....kids have to be taught how to loose.

I've seen videos online of how kids have meltdowns when they do loose, or can't have their ways, and the parents laugh, and when you leave a comment about how not funny this is, and how this will carry on in the child's life, they tell you to lighten up...they do not realize the dangers in laughing at a child, when a child is in distress...therefore, the child learns it is ok to treat others that way.

Sad....kids have to learn they cannot have it their way all the time.
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