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Old Yesterday, 08:04 AM
Caa Caa started this thread
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Would it affect her decision? Would she be glad or sad at the thought?

Would you move if she didnít choose that school?

We are very close to her, so I think if we moved to the city close to her college she would be fine with it.
yes, my husband is so ready to move anywhere, he hates living here. No matter what, we are moving within 3 years out of this area. I am ok here, but I am more city girl and we live in a sleepy town in SE florida
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Old Yesterday, 08:06 AM
Caa Caa started this thread
 
928 posts, read 2,194,217 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
Retiring somewhere you enjoy is not the same as following your child to college.

One should be a well thought out and planned decision; one appears desperate and helicoptering.
No, we are def not helicopter parent as we have let her have a lot more freedoms then her friends as far as dating, going out, etc. I work at an elem school so I was always sure not to do that....we have looked at many cities and towns for our move and love Jax where she may go to school. We are not desperate other than wanting to leave this area within a few years...
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Old Yesterday, 08:09 AM
Caa Caa started this thread
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gt87 View Post
If the city she is attending college in is a place you would truly want to relocate to long term I would say go for it. But if you are moving for the sole purpose to be close to her I'd say that's kind of odd and would be hindering her growth from a child to an adult.


I had a good friend attend college a few states away and his mom quite her job and sold her house to move into an apartment close to her sons college. She would stop by his dorm and pick up his dirty laundry and return it clean. Did all his grocery shopping. Even one time walked by one of his classes to make sure he was attending. It was so weird. He didn't want any of it but didn't want to hurt his moms feeling so he just kind of dealt with it.


Not saying that you would go to these extremes, just make sure you give her space and let her make her own mistakes and live her life. Just my 2 cents. Good luck!
Ha ha well, we are def not that way. I cannot imagine doing that, how crazy LOL! No, we would not be like that in any way, shape or form. Shes already very independent as we raised her that way. Be responsible, respectful and learn from her mistakes is how we made sure to raise her.
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Old Yesterday, 08:10 AM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
21,604 posts, read 22,814,274 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caa View Post
No, we are def not helicopter parent as we have let her have a lot more freedoms then her friends as far as dating, going out, etc. I work at an elem school so I was always sure not to do that....we have looked at many cities and towns for our move and love Jax where she may go to school. We are not desperate other than wanting to leave this area within a few years...
Would you still choose the same place if she ends up attending college elsewhere - or transferring?

This decision should be based not on her actions but on the life the two of you want once she moves on with her life.
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Old Yesterday, 08:12 AM
Status: "I have strong opinions and won't apologize for them." (set 5 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
8,583 posts, read 3,252,346 times
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If you're asking opinions, no. That's helicopter parenting. I went to an out of state college and made it on my own, without my parents. Those were different times, when an 18 year old was widely considered to be an adult.

Also, what if she decided to transfer to another college? Would you move there, too?
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Old Yesterday, 08:18 AM
 
8,892 posts, read 13,060,806 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caa View Post
The only real reason we would move with her is becaause we don't like where we are living now and wanted to wait till she went off to college ins tead of move in high school...just not sure how many parents have done this
Did you ask her how she feels about it?
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Old Yesterday, 08:25 AM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,091 posts, read 13,972,995 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caa View Post
Hi all,

How many parents out there moved to the city where theyre child attenda college? Good idea/bad idea? Thinking about it, but would live far enough away to not be a pain in the ass and be with her all the time as we want her to be on her own as much as possible. We are also thinking of moving away from south florida anyway as we are not happy here and shes considerng jax for college....thoughts??
Same city, no. Same state/region, yes.
I had planned to move after my last child graduated high school and was considering a half dozen different cities, at least one of which was near the school my son was going to attend. Being able to be within a two hour trip from him was definitely one of several deciding factors for me. He decided to make his home in the same city after school, so for me it has worked out well. He's close enough for visiting, but no so close that I run the risk of becoming overly involved in his life.
I really like where I moved so it would still be a win win for me even if he moved away at some point in the future. IMO liking a place just for itself should be one of the most important part of any decision to move.
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Old Yesterday, 08:26 AM
 
Location: Winterpeg
813 posts, read 301,638 times
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Yes, have you asked her what she thinks? That's a pretty important piece of the puzzle.

My husband and I moved across the country the weekend our daughter graduated high school. She actually followed us after her summer job was finished, and is graduating this June with no debt. So it was a good choice. But no matter where she finds a job now, we're staying here for the time being.
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Old Yesterday, 09:08 AM
 
4,244 posts, read 8,044,278 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caa View Post
We are also thinking of moving away from south florida ... shes considerng jax for college
South Florida and Jacksonville (still Florida) are about 200 miles apart? Some parents here didn't catch that and told you that they moved "closer", meaning they moved to be within 200, or 300, or 400 miles from their kids. Larger distance than you have now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Caa View Post
we don't like where we are living now
That's a different reason. Ideally, you have to be choosing a place you like, regardless of where your daughter's path would take her. What if you'll hate Jacksonville?
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Old Yesterday, 09:45 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,744 posts, read 16,877,762 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
Retiring somewhere you enjoy is not the same as following your child to college.

One should be a well thought out and planned decision; one appears desperate and helicoptering.


Quote:
Originally Posted by gt87 View Post
If the city she is attending college in is a place you would truly want to relocate to long term I would say go for it. But if you are moving for the sole purpose to be close to her I'd say that's kind of odd and would be hindering her growth from a child to an adult.


I had a good friend attend college a few states away and his mom quite her job and sold her house to move into an apartment close to her sons college. She would stop by his dorm and pick up his dirty laundry and return it clean. Did all his grocery shopping. Even one time walked by one of his classes to make sure he was attending. It was so weird. He didn't want any of it but didn't want to hurt his moms feeling so he just kind of dealt with it.


Not saying that you would go to these extremes, just make sure you give her space and let her make her own mistakes and live her life. Just my 2 cents. Good luck!
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