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Old Yesterday, 06:55 AM
 
649 posts, read 193,668 times
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Quote:
She always depended on my dad for everything not to mention he was 20 years her senior. When my dad was alive it wasn't as much of a problem as it is now. She acts like such a child.
When older men marry younger women who are twenty younger, a dynamic occurs where women are often more depended than women who marry their peers. These women might be independent and university educated, but change after marriage.

Of course, not every marriage is the same. While you should take care of yourself, don't be too hard on your mom.

1,800 square foot is a regular size house here.
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Old Yesterday, 07:18 AM
Status: "still slow recovery flu" (set 1 day ago)
 
Location: Europe
1,605 posts, read 1,240,690 times
Reputation: 2155
About your mom not wanting to drive up the highway even having a license for decades. A neighbour lady then 55 of one of my previous homes had same problem. She was afraid to drive any big busy road never drive highways. So only drive small quiet streets in little town. Then someone suggested special driving lessons to overcome road fear. When I moved she was busy thinking maybe try that. I am sure Greece also has extra lessons on coping with driving issues. She should ask about that at driving schools.

A site to ask questions www.thestudentroom.co.uk/

Another site you might try is www.collegeconfidential.com that is mostly aimed at USA colleges/universities but you can ask there about your specific situation.
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Old Yesterday, 07:45 AM
Status: "still slow recovery flu" (set 1 day ago)
 
Location: Europe
1,605 posts, read 1,240,690 times
Reputation: 2155
The www.studentroom.co.uk/ is a very large extensive forum scroll down for a very long time then you get to all the uni colleges for various parts of UK , Greater London etc. and at the very end of the forum listings you will see Studying in North America it has USA and Canada questions and answers there.
Forum also has things like housing, health, mental health, money/finance, coping with uni life etc.
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Old Yesterday, 08:55 AM
 
Location: Dallas TX
14,884 posts, read 21,400,576 times
Reputation: 21800
While I understand you would love to do the University state side, it isn't smart given your financial situation. In Europe there are great opportunities for your schooling for a fraction of the cost. Take advantage of those and once you graduate look into moving to California. That said, it is a very expensive state to live in, be cognizant before you up and move to a place you can't afford.
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Old Yesterday, 09:56 AM
 
10 posts, read 1,314 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by YorktownGal View Post
When older men marry younger women who are twenty younger, a dynamic occurs where women are often more depended than women who marry their peers. These women might be independent and university educated, but change after marriage.

Of course, not every marriage is the same. While you should take care of yourself, don't be too hard on your mom.

1,800 square foot is a regular size house here.
I try not to be hard on her but it's difficult when she's letting me in on all these things I don't want to know about. I also feel kind of bad, I can't even ask to go out to lunch with a friend without her complaining about money. And she makes such a big deal over groceries, we've reached the stage where we need to worry about not having enough money for groceries and it makes me feel awful. The whole thing just sucks.
I mean it is small, for 4 people. Our old house was around 5,000.
Not to mention she always complains about doing housework like laundry and cleaning up the kitchen and stuff like that. It's like she doesn't realize her role as a mother is to do all that. She's so dramatic about it. We used to have maids so she never had to do anything and now that we had to let them go she's trying to find someone that will come over twice a week and help out (RIDICULOUS). It's all just very overwhelming.
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Old Yesterday, 09:57 AM
 
10 posts, read 1,314 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by veuvegirl View Post
While I understand you would love to do the University state side, it isn't smart given your financial situation. In Europe there are great opportunities for your schooling for a fraction of the cost. Take advantage of those and once you graduate look into moving to California. That said, it is a very expensive state to live in, be cognizant before you up and move to a place you can't afford.
I know but I don't mind. I want to get a really good job and live there for the rest of my life. Hopefully after college they may be able to offer me a visa or something. But I KNOW I'm going to get a good job, I'm determined.
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Old Yesterday, 09:58 AM
 
10 posts, read 1,314 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nerys52SoSilver View Post
The [url]www.studentroom.co.uk/[/url] is a very large extensive forum scroll down for a very long time then you get to all the uni colleges for various parts of UK , Greater London etc. and at the very end of the forum listings you will see Studying in North America it has USA and Canada questions and answers there.
Forum also has things like housing, health, mental health, money/finance, coping with uni life etc.
Oh, ok thank you so much.
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Old Yesterday, 10:01 AM
 
3,754 posts, read 2,435,764 times
Reputation: 7835
I'm sorry you're having to go through this.

I agree with everyone else, go to school in England (or somewhere in Europe) if you can get the financial aid and then work on moving to the US later. I'd think pretty hard about majoring in Psychology, here in the US it's sometimes hard to find a job with that degree (unless you have a PhD). Be sure to do your research on what jobs are available vs what jobs you're interested in. Because you will have no financial support from home, it's critical that you are able to support yourself once you graduate.

Someone else mentioned working for an international company and then transferring to the US. I think that is an excellent idea and something worth pursuing.

Finally, you won't be able to change your Mom. She has to be the one who wants to change. At this point all you're doing is causing friction even though you are trying to help (and are right) so I'd stop telling her those sorts of things.

Good luck! It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and a bright future ahead of you.
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Old Yesterday, 10:07 AM
 
10 posts, read 1,314 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rowan123 View Post
I'm sorry you're having to go through this.

I agree with everyone else, go to school in England (or somewhere in Europe) if you can get the financial aid and then work on moving to the US later. I'd think pretty hard about majoring in Psychology, here in the US it's sometimes hard to find a job with that degree (unless you have a PhD). Be sure to do your research on what jobs are available vs what jobs you're interested in. Because you will have no financial support from home, it's critical that you are able to support yourself once you graduate.

Someone else mentioned working for an international company and then transferring to the US. I think that is an excellent idea and something worth pursuing.

Finally, you won't be able to change your Mom. She has to be the one who wants to change. At this point all you're doing is causing friction even though you are trying to help (and are right) so I'd stop telling her those sorts of things.

Good luck! It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and a bright future ahead of you.
What kind of majors do you think I should look into? I'm pretty awful at math
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Old Yesterday, 10:41 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
76,567 posts, read 68,568,666 times
Reputation: 73919
OP, do you help your mom with the chores at home? You could be doing easy tasks, like cleaning up the kitchen for her, collecting dirty laundry and sorting it, or whatever. Jeez, I hope she doesn't actually spend money on household help, when you all need the $$ for groceries! When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, OP. Just step up to the plate, and take the oldest-sibling/mom-helper role, even if you don't want to. You'll be out of there soon enough; this phase won't last much longer.

A psychology degree will involve a course or two in statistics. Get tutoring for math, if you have to. US universities have tutoring centers in math and writing skills. I would guess that Brit universities don't, as they probably expect the students they admit to know their stuff. Will the exams you take for university have a math section? You really should work on your math. And I say this as someone who's bad at math, too. Focus on preparing to do as well as you can on those exams. Obviously, your writing and reading skills are at a high level, so no worries there.
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