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Old 04-29-2019, 07:44 AM
 
727 posts, read 211,665 times
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First, check out https://fedisbest.org/ .

Successful breastfeeding isn't always under a mother's control.

A lot depends on your baby. My babies slept for three hours, woke up for a feeding and diaper changed, and went back to sleep after some rocking. My husband took care of babies from 8/9 pm to 3 am so I could get some non stop sleep. At 3 am, I started the routine again until 8/9 pm.

Obviously, babies do more than nap. They need a bath, play and need to be spoken to. Some babies slept through the night at two months, one of mine didn't sleep more than three hours at time until he was five months old.

All of this assumes you don't have a colic baby.

During the day, someone has to do laundry, clean up. Plan on living on sandwiches or pre-frozen dinners.
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Old 04-29-2019, 08:59 AM
 
8,552 posts, read 4,565,146 times
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We were thinking might sound a bit odd lol

Week 1: Both take care of the baby in the eves (If I could switch to days that be ideal) on Sunday. That way I take care of the baby in the eves.

Monday I'll take care of the baby during the day and maybe the MIL watches the baby to give me a reprieve. Wife and I pull double duty eves & nights.

Tuesday Wife drops child off at daycare. Takes care of the baby in the eves.

Wednesday is same as Monday.

Thursday same as Tuesday

Friday is same as Monday & Wednesday.

Saturday both take care of the baby.

Week 2 is the same but Sunday and Saturday swap.
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Old 04-29-2019, 10:05 AM
 
6,203 posts, read 3,879,782 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RunD1987 View Post
We were thinking might sound a bit odd lol

Week 1: Both take care of the baby in the eves (If I could switch to days that be ideal) on Sunday. That way I take care of the baby in the eves.

Monday I'll take care of the baby during the day and maybe the MIL watches the baby to give me a reprieve. Wife and I pull double duty eves & nights.

Tuesday Wife drops child off at daycare. Takes care of the baby in the eves.

Wednesday is same as Monday.

Thursday same as Tuesday

Friday is same as Monday & Wednesday.

Saturday both take care of the baby.

Week 2 is the same but Sunday and Saturday swap.
This schedule sounds like other than one day a week, your wife only gets to see the baby at night.
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Old 04-29-2019, 10:14 AM
 
727 posts, read 211,665 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saibot View Post
This schedule sounds like other than one day a week, your wife only gets to see the baby at night.
Article on the importance of moms:

What you sound like. Even before he was born (when you were around seven months pregnant), he started to hear your voice, filtered through fluids. So by the time you hold him in your arms and coo at him, he already recognizes your voice.

When Jean Rapp's son, Tommy, was born last year, he had to spend nearly a month in the NICU. One morning when Rapp came in, a nurse told her he'd had a terrible night and was crying inconsolably. "She said to me, 'There's a little boy in there who's going to be so happy to see you,'" says the Ivoryton, Connecticut, mom. The nurse was right: The second Rapp held 3 1/2-week-old Tommy and began talking quietly to him, he stopped crying. "It was so good to know that even though I couldn't spend every minute with him like I wanted to, he still knew who I was," she says.

* What you look like (in a blurry kind of way). A newborn's eyesight is fuzzy, but in normal light he can see things that are 8 to 14 inches away pretty well -- coincidentally, the distance your face is from his when you feed him.

* What you smell like. Your baby will recognize your scent within days of birth. Researchers have found that 3-day-old infants are able to discriminate their mom's milk from someone else's by its smell. And not only does your baby know your scent, he loves it too. "A baby will snuggle his nose between your chin and shoulder," says Alice Sterling Honig, Ph.D., professor emerita of child development at Syracuse University. "He's thinking, 'Oh, you smell so good. You're my mommy!'"

* You feed him when he's hungry. By the time he's 6 weeks old, your baby's had more than 200 feedings -- plenty of chances to get familiar with the sequence of events. He feels a pang of hunger, he cries, then you feed him. And he's learned he can trust you. Sometimes he'll quiet down as soon as he can tell he's about to eat. He won't understand your words, but even when you say, "Okay, sweetheart, Mommy will feed you in a minute," he knows you're taking care of him.

Your baby may also associate you so closely with feeding that he won't let anyone else do it in your place. Amy Brozio-Andrews of Albany, New York, was hoping that her husband would be able to bottle-feed their daughter, Emma, starting when she was 6 weeks old. But Emma cried and would take the bottle only from her mom. "I was so surprised. It was like she knew that milk, whether from the bottle or breast, was supposed to come from Mommy," says Brozio-Andrews. But dads needn't despair: Spending time with the baby through such daily activities as bathing, rocking, and diaper changing will eventually give Dad the opportunity to win her over to feeding.

* You comfort him when he's upset. Have you noticed that when you pick up your baby, he usually melts into your arms? From his point of view, your body is an extension of his, so he can relax when you're holding him.

https://www.parenting.com/article/wh...nows-about-you
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Old 04-29-2019, 10:35 AM
 
8,552 posts, read 4,565,146 times
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Originally Posted by saibot View Post
This schedule sounds like other than one day a week, your wife only gets to see the baby at night.
See baby at night, the weekends, and at least 2 eves during the week
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Old 04-29-2019, 10:42 AM
 
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Originally Posted by RunD1987 View Post
See baby at night, the weekends, and at least 2 eves during the week
Baby sleeps at night ..at least, that is the goal..right?
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Old 04-29-2019, 11:09 AM
 
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I have to be careful not to project my personal feelings and experiences as a mother... I know people who both work full-time have babies and they make it work
Just from the point of view of child development, the first couple of years are critical and it's not ideal for a baby to have such an erratic care schedule. It's very hard for the baby to get into any kind of regular, predictable routine and I think that's very important for physical, mental and emotional development. Of course you do what you have to do.
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Old 04-29-2019, 03:17 PM
 
727 posts, read 211,665 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saibot View Post
I have to be careful not to project my personal feelings and experiences as a mother... I know people who both work full-time have babies and they make it work
Just from the point of view of child development, the first couple of years are critical and it's not ideal for a baby to have such an erratic care schedule. It's very hard for the baby to get into any kind of regular, predictable routine and I think that's very important for physical, mental and emotional development. Of course you do what you have to do.
Yeah, but a baby doesn't need its father as much as mom. She should be home on Mondays & Wednesdays instead of dad.

How long after the birth does this schedule start? Hopefully there is maternity leave for mom. Giving birth is exhausting even without complications like a c-section. With a c-section, she may need six weeks before she could drive a car again or walk up a couple of flights of stairs.

Saibot is exactly right about a baby needs a predictable routine for physical, mental, emotional development.

It would be heartbreaking for mom to come home from work at night and not to have ANY quality time with her baby. It is going to be hard enough for mom to know that daycare or grandma see the baby's first's like crawling or walking or spoken words instead of mom.
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Old 04-29-2019, 05:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by YorktownGal View Post
Yeah, but a baby doesn't need its father as much as mom.
All babies need a loving, nurturing parent or guardian doting on them. The sex of the parent doesn't matter.



Yes, I understand that a baby already knows a birth mother's voice and that many women provide food for their child. This is all very important. But some babies do not have access to their birth mother (adoption, death, etc) and your comment makes it seem like these children will not have great lives because they may be missing something they "need". Fathers can provide everything a mother can; albeit in different ways.
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Old 04-29-2019, 09:23 PM
 
727 posts, read 211,665 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spencgr View Post
All babies need a loving, nurturing parent or guardian doting on them. The sex of the parent doesn't matter.



Yes, I understand that a baby already knows a birth mother's voice and that many women provide food for their child. This is all very important. But some babies do not have access to their birth mother (adoption, death, etc) and your comment makes it seem like these children will not have great lives because they may be missing something they "need". Fathers can provide everything a mother can; albeit in different ways.
Yes, in some circumstances," a loving, nurturing parent or guardian doting on them" regardless of sex is fine.

But here is a father asking about a schedule for childcare which leaves the mother out. He gets his time with their baby, mom - not so much. Hardly a fair or healthy situation for a family. It is so one sided.
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