Watching children play ='s sexual predator. (son, married, safety, schools)

[Capt. Dan]

Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren

Well of course he would have to behave unusual in some way. I would watch them for some time, if he never interacted with anyone else, especially if he produced a camera, I would be concerned. If there was a police officer I would rather they speak to the man but I have no problem doing it myself if one is not handy.

I don't think this has become hysteria at all. I don't think enough is done. Maybe it needs to be refocused but MORE needs to be done to protect our children, not less. The reality is that children are MORE likely to be abused by someone who is known to them rather then a stranger at the park. All too often families close their eyes because they can't accept that someone they know is that sick.

I'm not shy about protecting my daughter, I almost punched a man who was LEERING at my daughter at a convenience store.

You make it sound as if all men who happen to be at a park while kids are present are some sort of '' Aqualung''. Its people like you who perpetuate hysteria in my opinion. you begin with a ''he's guilty'' attitude and make men prove their innocence.

[5kingsinvegas]

This attitude is why so many young women today are growing up without strong male role models in their lives. Fathers are afraid to parent their daughters. My husband took my daughters, age 11 and 13, to LA for the weekend to attend a Galaxy soccer game. They stayed in a hotel in Anaheim, swam in the pool, sat in the hot tub, and had a totally awesome weekend together. I would have been absolutely furious if some crazy mother had approached him while they were in the hot tub or pool and demanded to know if he is their father. I was never close to my dad growing up and my girls have a fantastic relationship with their father. How dare anyone interject their sick innuendo's onto their fun weekend? Thank God some of you on this board were no where around!!

By the way, I am a female teacher and I have to say that some of the best teachers we have at my school are the male ones. I would not hesitate to put any of my daughters (I have 3) into a male taught classroom.

Oh, and before you all jump on me, my oldest daughter WAS molested from age 6-10 by my husband's step father. She came and TOLD us, which is almost unheard of at that age, we are told. We absolutely 100% believed her, even though we loved and trusted this man. He is now in prison, thanks to my daughter being a very brave little girl. Our counselor informed us that the most important thing for our daughters is that they have a good relationship with their father because that is what they will use when looking for a spouse.

We are teaching our children to fear men, what is this going to do to our daughters when they start dating? You can't live in fear and predjudice. I see older men with children at the park all the time. It does not "creep me out", I always think how sweet that their grandfather is spending time with them. Not all men are "leering", infact, most are just enjoying the exuberance of youthfulness that they no longer have. What about older women who watch young boys??? Are they "leering"???

[jimj]

Well for all that support these kinds of laws I hope you are ready for the unintended consequences. Starting a couple of years ago when all this hysteria began I adopted the position that even if I saw a kid in convulsions on the ground I'd walk away. I'm distressed it's come to this as I'd want someone to help my son but I can not/will NOT risk my freedom nor my families financial health to help a stranger in an atmosphere where the deck is stacked against me from the git go and since I'm a man I must be up to no good.
So if you think not enough is being done or, that all this hysteria is not enough then I would suggest telling parents to NEVER let their kids out of the house unless the mother is with them until they are 18 yrs old. I would then suggest that each neighborhood get a group of mothers together and have them properly vetted to be sure they are of good moral character and have them carry first aid kits and radios for any child who may have gotten out of their house and skins their knee while running down the street. This group could also monitor the bus stops for any men driving by or carelessly dropping off their kids even though they know they shouldn't be in the same area as any other childeren. While some of this is obviously meant as sarcasm in reality where do we draw the line? Do we go to church or let our kids go to bible study? You know what's been going on with priests right? What about school? How do we let the schools put our kids in detention where they're alone with a (gasp) teacher for a time? I'm more afraid of the gangs at school who want to get ahold of my kid or the druggies who want to get my kid started or little promiscuous Sally who wants to "do it" with my son or horn doggy Sam who wants to get with your daughter.
My point is there's more danger closer to home than some "man" standing in a park most likely doing no harm and we put our kids in close proximity to it daily without a second thought. Bad things happen to good people all the time and it's been that way since life began and I refuse to go around paranoid about everything or put my child in a bubble. I will not teach him that all people are dangerous and to be feared or (unless this hysteria keeps up) to refuse to help someone in need.
What kind of a world are we creating here?

[findinghope]

you know i understand why the men are upset--and i am a woman upset. my husband is very freindly and i worry that people will take him the wrong way all the time.
first it was sexual harrasment in the work place, and i had to warn him to be careful when he speaks to women--not that he needed any warning as he always treats people with respect. but you never know how some women are.
and now he has to be careful around kids.
i am VERY worried about my son. i watch closly whe we are around other people making sure that nothing wierd is going on. but i dont want to put "seeds" into his head either. i keep my worries to myself and let him be a kid. as he grows i will try to teach him good and bad touch etc. but i dont want him to fear just being a kid.

[decafdave]

Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren

I have no problem with this law. I am the woman who would come up and demand of a man who was watching children if one of them was his own if I had reason to believe none of them were. I don't care if this offends.

Unfortunately parents don't watch, the evidence of this is how many children are molested and abducted.

I personally would object if they put my daughter into a mans class room at this point in her education. Not because I am sure he would be a pedophile but because she has had problems with learning and studies show that children learn better from a teacher of their own sex. I watch men closely who are around my daughter. It only takes a couple minutes of action on their part to harm my daughter emotionally for the rest of her life.

You would be surprised at how many men out there look at a child of 11, see that she is developing and feel that in and of itself means she is ready for sexual involvement, even with an adult.

Don't you think your attitude towards men is a bit unhealthy? As a mother you've seen the stuff the media forces down our throats but you seem to be overreacting. If I was a father and you or some other concerned mother confronted me for walking with my daughter I wouldn't even answer you.

From your posts you strike me as quite sexist. And sexism, just like racism or any other form of hate is not only wrong but illogical. Oh but I guess since you're a woman you can't think logically right? Generalizing mght be harmless at its best but you're type is downright harmful. When you're daughter gets older how is she going to have a healthy relationship with a guy if her only information comes from your biased opinion? You have the right to hate men but there's no need for her to go down the same road.

[decafdave]

Originally Posted by findinghope

you know i understand why the men are upset--and i am a woman upset. my husband is very freindly and i worry that people will take him the wrong way all the time.
first it was sexual harrasment in the work place, and i had to warn him to be careful when he speaks to women--not that he needed any warning as he always treats people with respect. but you never know how some women are.
and now he has to be careful around kids.
i am VERY worried about my son. i watch closly whe we are around other people making sure that nothing wierd is going on. but i dont want to put "seeds" into his head either. i keep my worries to myself and let him be a kid. as he grows i will try to teach him good and bad touch etc. but i dont want him to fear just being a kid.

Yes men have to walk on eggshells everywhere now. Feminism came and liberated women but instead of stopping there it has gone on to oppress men.
Women almost always get the upper hand in divorces and can ruin a man's career with just accusing him of sexual harrassment. Men still earn more on average but how good is that with a retched home life? Obviously I'm speaking in general terms and thankfully there's plenty of women out there who are great.

[slove1106]

Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren

I have no problem with this law. I am the woman who would come up and demand of a man who was watching children if one of them was his own if I had reason to believe none of them were. I don't care if this offends.

And I take it you wouldn't be offended if a man/woman came up to you and asked ("demanded") you the same... correct? Unfortunately, the small box that we live in today only focuses on MEN as being sexual predators/abusers when there are also women doing the same.

Why would it be any different if society started getting paranoid about women and children...? What if in a few years society starts targeting women who sit at a park and watch their children play? Well why not? Who's to say that won't be next... there are plenty of women offenders these days...

Women always jump up and are quick to judge men who love children and say they're "protecting" their children by being leery of men around their children, but if the situation were turned around, they'd be the first to get offended...

There's nothing "protective" by jumping into a bandwagon that just pushes unhealthy views of men, good fathers and the actual good male role models that exist. These are usually the type of women that have had some sort of negative experience with one man in their life, so now they want to pass this hate of men down to the next generation and let the atrocity continue.

That's sad to judge and stay leery of every man that walks around with a child alone and just assume the worst. Yes, there are predators out there, but to steer clear of every man you see at a playground... that's just absurd.

I personally don't want my children around "rude" and "offensive" people with bad attitudes. I think that's bad for my children to be around. I think we should kick those people off the playground as well. That's bad for my child. Oh, while we're at it, since they're passing on their rudeness and bad attitudes to their children who play with my children... I'd rather my children don't play with their children either... But no, it's the nice innocent man who brought his child to play at the playground that we want to kick out and bash... why... because he's a man. Way to focus on the important things with our children's upbringing...

By the way, I'm a woman.

[djacques]

Originally Posted by Lindsey_Mcfarren

It only takes a couple minutes of action on their part to harm my daughter emotionally for the rest of her life.

Most sexual abuse victims are not harmed emotionally for the rest of their lives; that is a myth, and is an example of why some of us call this whole attitude you are evincing "hysteria"--it's based on fear, not on facts.

[Davachka]

Originally Posted by djacques

Most sexual abuse victims are not harmed emotionally for the rest of their lives; that is a myth, and is an example of why some of us call this whole attitude you are evincing "hysteria"--it's based on fear, not on facts.

Can we see the facts behind what you are saying?

I doubt it, I do not know where you are getting your information, but it is likely untrue. Of course sexual abuse does lifelong damage to children. In fact, many men who are sexual predators, where abused themselves, and it is a cycle of abuse.

This is not a subject to make light of, and for you to say its a myth that abuse victims are harmed for the rest of their lives, is pure and sheer ignorance.

This country has a obscenely high amount of sexual predators, that is the reason for the "hysteria" as you call it. Obviously, children need to be protected, and if this law saves one child, then it is worth it. Even if a few fathers have to be inconvenienced, you'd think they'd care more about children's safety and less about being confronted or emberassed.

[2mares]

visual sexual aggression ?
Could someone give me the definition. I know the definition of each word individually, but just cant make sense of them used together. Is it similar to "assult by fear" ?