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Old 05-30-2019, 11:55 AM
 
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Some people steal because they are addicts. Some people steal because they are lousy human beings and happen to be addicts as well.
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Old 05-30-2019, 12:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by NDak15 View Post
I agree. No room for drug addicts in my life. Besides that, drug addiction is a CHOICE.
Actually drug addiction is not a choice. Drugs physically change the brain and create a compulsive drive to continue using while inhibiting normal decision-making abilities. The key here is that the addicted person will continue using even when they see the harm their addiction is causing. They know itís bad for them, and they donít want to be addicted. But addiction is characterized by the inability to stop. Drug addiction follows a similar pattern to other chronic diseases such as asthma and diabetes. The patient will go into remission, but may have several relapses before beating the disease entirely. And like these diseases, addiction too can be treated and managed.

While the beginning use of drugs is a choice, that is beside the point. Some people never become addicted and others do.
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Old 05-30-2019, 12:26 PM
 
12,146 posts, read 9,878,373 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nana053 View Post
Actually drug addiction is not a choice. Drugs physically change the brain and create a compulsive drive to continue using while inhibiting normal decision-making abilities. The key here is that the addicted person will continue using even when they see the harm their addiction is causing. They know itís bad for them, and they donít want to be addicted. But addiction is characterized by the inability to stop. Drug addiction follows a similar pattern to other chronic diseases such as asthma and diabetes. The patient will go into remission, but may have several relapses before beating the disease entirely. And like these diseases, addiction too can be treated and managed.

While the beginning use of drugs is a choice, that is beside the point. Some people never become addicted and others do.
There are a few roads to addiction that catch people up. MANY MANY heroine addicts started with properly using prescribed pain medication. Alcohol is a very very common introduction to the word of altered brain chemistry.
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Old 05-30-2019, 07:48 PM
 
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You son is failing in life and your wife is out of the country for months?
She needs to get back home and you both need to make sure he gets a high school diploma or he's done.
Were you present when he was growing up? You have to be there! Especially when your kids are failing.
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Old 05-30-2019, 07:51 PM
 
172 posts, read 70,376 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hapa1 View Post
No matter how flawed peopleís kids are, they still love them and donít want to see them in jail, on the street, or dead, but this family needs therapy no doubt.
Exactly. It blows my mind how many people fail their kids by not making sure they are busy and stay out of trouble and then kick them to the curb.
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Old 05-30-2019, 09:09 PM
 
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We are awash in this country with addiction problems yet only a handful understand the biological dynamics of what using mood-altering chemicals does.

If the parents said that the next time he steals he has to leave the home I believe they have to follow through. If it were me I'd send him to the county for a chemical dependency assessment and that will get the ball rolling. A good treatment center will address living and work arrangements post-treatment. No parent should have to or is equipped to do so with a twenty-year-old with depression and behavioral problems.

At the very least sending him to live with the Salvation Army sometimes is a good choice. They do a very good job with many lost people starting with sobriety and working up to a job.

Rule #1. Whenever a person has living problems and is also using mood-altering chemicals the very first thing to do is remove the chemicals. Only then can you sort out whether he is depressed, a thief, in need of work, etc. Unless there is something else like a disease which is immediately life-threatening the chemicals present the most life-damaging thing to him.

Prison isn't the worst thing that can happen to a addict or his family. I've talked to more than a handful of parents who were relieved and finally able to sleep when their kids were incarcerated.
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Old 05-31-2019, 03:25 AM
 
12,146 posts, read 9,878,373 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nana053 View Post
Actually drug addiction is not a choice. Drugs physically change the brain and create a compulsive drive to continue using while inhibiting normal decision-making abilities. The key here is that the addicted person will continue using even when they see the harm their addiction is causing. They know itís bad for them, and they donít want to be addicted. But addiction is characterized by the inability to stop. Drug addiction follows a similar pattern to other chronic diseases such as asthma and diabetes. The patient will go into remission, but may have several relapses before beating the disease entirely. And like these diseases, addiction too can be treated and managed.

While the beginning use of drugs is a choice, that is beside the point. Some people never become addicted and others do.
A lot of what young people hear about drugs from their adults is just wrong. They see it as so obviously wrong that they doubt the word of those in so-called authority. That is where the beginning comes from.

Quite a few years ago now, I was privileged to host a young man as he came out of rehab. He had nowhere to go. If ever there was a young man looking like his life was lost, this was it. At the ripe old age of 19. He was the son of a family friend. EVERYONE advised my husband and I not to touch him with a 10 foot pole. His family included. His mother told us every detail of his history so we could make an informed choice but added, I don't think I would do it. And deciding not to would not have been wrong. But we took a leap of faith and did host him. He shared a lot of how he got there. He was not seeking to become a drug addict! For him it came from being prescribed benzos for anxiety. And his anxiety was real and based in a lot of uncertainty in his life. His cage was scary AF. He then saw his friends parents drinking themselves to oblivion and started alcohol. From there, he was toast. The stories of what he did to acquire alcohol (preferred) or drugs (acceptable) were the stuff of nightmares. A few years later, he is clean, working hard and doing quite well. And proud and assured in himself. Which is a win.

Drug addiction does follow the disease model. This is important for more than just ensuring recovering coverage through insurance. It is important to understand recovery itself. AA and NA get quite a lot right. They do a great job (accidentally) with supporting the very important feeling of connection, which is a mental health 101. They call it prayer to higher power, but it remains mental health 101 to practice meditation and gratitude. IMO they fail by continuing to attribute moral failing to the addiction. Some choose to focus on the moral failing of the actions they did while under the influence. And that seems to work for them. But understanding how the addiction has changed the brain and the one medicine (time) that can heal it goes so far in helping people understand that it needn't always be thus. They are not doomed.

I feel sooooo bad for these young people who don't get to have insight into what is going on. They are faced with so many bad choices. And the worst is not as much the withholding of support, but the condemnation that they are BAAAAAD. This is a story that, when they accept, is a self fulfilling prophecy.
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Old 05-31-2019, 03:29 AM
 
12,146 posts, read 9,878,373 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lodestar View Post
We are awash in this country with addiction problems yet only a handful understand the biological dynamics of what using mood-altering chemicals does.

If the parents said that the next time he steals he has to leave the home I believe they have to follow through. If it were me I'd send him to the county for a chemical dependency assessment and that will get the ball rolling. A good treatment center will address living and work arrangements post-treatment. No parent should have to or is equipped to do so with a twenty-year-old with depression and behavioral problems.

At the very least sending him to live with the Salvation Army sometimes is a good choice. They do a very good job with many lost people starting with sobriety and working up to a job.

Rule #1. Whenever a person has living problems and is also using mood-altering chemicals the very first thing to do is remove the chemicals. Only then can you sort out whether he is depressed, a thief, in need of work, etc. Unless there is something else like a disease which is immediately life-threatening the chemicals present the most life-damaging thing to him.
I have no knowledge of the interventions that you mention. But for success to be achieved, the removal of chemicals must be done SAFELY and in a certain way, depending on the chemical. Removing someone from alcohol cold turkey can kill them. Removing someone from heroin is extremely painful. My sister was a public defender who defended a heroin addict who was incarcerated for his crimes. He described to her the feeling of spiders in his blood stream, the sensation of his bones breaking.

Quote:
Prison isn't the worst thing that can happen to a addict or his family. I've talked to more than a handful of parents who were relieved and finally able to sleep when their kids were incarcerated.
I do know that jail is not the best place to begin recovery. Fun fact, many people mandated to rehab to avoid long prison sentences will choose prison since they can get their drug of choice there.
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Old 05-31-2019, 06:47 AM
 
6,308 posts, read 3,572,105 times
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"I do know that jail is not the best place to begin recovery. Fun fact, many people mandated to rehab to avoid long prison sentences will choose prison since they can get their drug of choice there."

Drugs are available everywhere. Even in treatment.

No, jail is not the best place to begin a recovery but many do have a wake-up call there. Addicts end up in all kinds of places they don't want to be.

I think what the parents meant was that they knew their child had meals and shelter and they knew where he was. Even when using an addict is safer locked in a cell with some degree of supervision than being passed out in a park or an alley.
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Old 05-31-2019, 07:39 AM
 
10,145 posts, read 4,039,262 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kitty_nina1 View Post
You son is failing in life and your wife is out of the country for months?
She needs to get back home and you both need to make sure he gets a high school diploma or he's done.
Were you present when he was growing up? You have to be there! Especially when your kids are failing.
I think it was the wife's friend who went out of town, not the wife.
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