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Old 05-31-2019, 08:44 AM
 
12,032 posts, read 9,816,765 times
Reputation: 15629

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lodestar View Post
"I do know that jail is not the best place to begin recovery. Fun fact, many people mandated to rehab to avoid long prison sentences will choose prison since they can get their drug of choice there."

Drugs are available everywhere. Even in treatment.
This is both defeatist and minimizing a vast difference in availability.

Quote:
No, jail is not the best place to begin a recovery but many do have a wake-up call there. Addicts end up in all kinds of places they don't want to be.

I think what the parents meant was that they knew their child had meals and shelter and they knew where he was. Even when using an addict is safer locked in a cell with some degree of supervision than being passed out in a park or an alley.
That is not what I have learned about prison!
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Old 05-31-2019, 09:42 AM
 
6,432 posts, read 1,276,258 times
Reputation: 16311
If a family member is a drug addict and has stolen stuff in the past from family members, kicking him (or her) out might not solve anything because, imo, this type of person usually does not have enough of a conscience to refrain from stealing or taking advantage of anyone until (IF!) s/he is rehabilitated, either through a major rehab program or prison. (I have a dim view of traditional "no big deal" counseling -- meaning one hour, once a week sessions -- in these kinds of cases.)

I think that if a parent does kick an adult child out, s/he needs to have new locks and surveillance cameras put in, and the police called at the time of the first break-in.

And, yes, the time for the OP to take active measures to help his or her son was about six years ago, but I agree that many parents are very reluctant to accept the fact their children might be in serious trouble, emotionally or otherwise. It is very unpleasant to face the fact that a son or daughter might not actually be as capable or as happy as the parent would wish him or her to be, and it is often easy for parents to convince themselves that things are not really that serious.

All that being said, my heart truly goes out to the parents, grandparents, and siblings of these addicts and others who don't have what it takes to be happy and good citizens. In many cases, not only do they have the heartbreak of trying to help their addicted and/or dishonest relatives without success, but they also live in fear of what they might do to them, by stealing from them and possibly even causing them physical harm.

(I only wish that I was not speaking from personal experience regarding much of the above.)
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Old 05-31-2019, 10:25 AM
 
206 posts, read 80,651 times
Reputation: 575
Quote:
Originally Posted by dwatted wabbit View Post
fine post, lodestar. The parents are enabling at this point. As you say, get thee to alanon and take what you like and leave the rest.
+ 1
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Old 05-31-2019, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Minnesota
2,033 posts, read 828,709 times
Reputation: 3584
Just an a short story. Apparently addiction can hit anyone. My mom was in a rehab facility after surgery. I met a 75-80 year old woman who was there for physical rehab also. During conversation with her she told me that she found herself addicted to pain meds after a painful recovery. Never in her life was addicted to anything and couldn't understand how people would throw their lives away for the addiction. However she now sadly understands it. She was at that point off of the addictive meds for four months but was still craving them a bit. It can happen to anyone.
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Old 06-01-2019, 06:14 PM
 
Location: Cebu City, Philippines
1 posts, read 86 times
Reputation: 10
Honestly, it will never stop unless you do something. People who who never have to earn anything, will appreciate nothing. I can help him onto the right path. Please look at my website: [url]https://projectmeprogram.com/[/url] PROJECTME is a non-academic facility. Participants will volunteer at the local Habitat for Humanity working with concrete, hollow blocks, electrical wiring, bamboo assembly and wire mesh to name a few. Amazing results can be achieved when combining the self reliant work ethic of the program while interacting with those who are less fortunate in the host country. Accepting males 16-40 years old. Thank you, Daniel
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