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Old 05-30-2019, 11:21 AM
 
Location: Brew City
4,109 posts, read 2,440,365 times
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Do people really still use this term?

I was drug into a conversation this morning at work when a female co-worker said "ask her, she's a tomboy, too". She was speaking to a male co-worker who's in his 50's. I just looked at them kind of curiously and asked if anyone still used that term.

I am the mother of two girls who play hockey, skateboard, bake cookies, color, climb trees, and swim. One loves dresses, the other wouldn't be caught dead in one.

He asked me what I call them. I asked him why I had to call them anything. They're just kids. Normal kids in the 21st century.

I'm chalking it up to his age. He's also from Guatemala and I don't know enough about his culture to know if that is an influence. He seemed offended that I didn't agree that I (a hockey playing mom) or my kids are tomboys.
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Old 05-30-2019, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
42,639 posts, read 41,381,512 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vegabern View Post
Do people really still use this term?

I was drug into a conversation this morning at work when a female co-worker said "ask her, she's a tomboy, too". She was speaking to a male co-worker who's in his 50's. I just looked at them kind of curiously and asked if anyone still used that term.

I am the mother of two girls who play hockey, skateboard, bake cookies, color, climb trees, and swim. One loves dresses, the other wouldn't be caught dead in one.

He asked me what I call them. I asked him why I had to call them anything. They're just kids. Normal kids in the 21st century.

I'm chalking it up to his age. He's also from Guatemala and I don't know enough about his culture to know if that is an influence. He seemed offended that I didn't agree that I (a hockey playing mom) or my kids are tomboys.
Well, you are, though. By definition.

You apparently choose not to emphasize labels, but you can't expect everyone you meet to think the same way.

A tactful way to handle a situation like that, and possibly recruit someone to your way of thinking rather than just push him aside with sheer advocacy, is to avoid getting defensive and saying something like "Why do I have to call them anything?" and just say something like, "I know many people might think of us as tomboys but I don't use labels like that. I just think of them as normal, curious kids with lots of interests."

That way you don't make HIM defensive and he also might see things from your POV.
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Old 05-30-2019, 12:47 PM
 
504 posts, read 170,751 times
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I do think the term "tomboy" is outdated here in the US. But many Hispanic cultures are still very tied to "traditional" gender roles, so it wouldn't surprise me to hear terms like that from my Hispanic family/friends.
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Old 05-30-2019, 02:15 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
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Sometimes older women refer to themselves when they were young as tomboys. Otherwise, I do think it is an outdated term.
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Old 05-30-2019, 02:56 PM
 
13,675 posts, read 13,485,460 times
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I prefer badass
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Old 05-31-2019, 05:21 AM
 
Location: Brew City
4,109 posts, read 2,440,365 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
I prefer badass
Let's be friends.
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Old 05-31-2019, 07:43 AM
 
Location: Plainfield NJ
255 posts, read 91,677 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vegabern View Post
Do people really still use this term?

I was drug into a conversation this morning at work when a female co-worker said "ask her, she's a tomboy, too". She was speaking to a male co-worker who's in his 50's. I just looked at them kind of curiously and asked if anyone still used that term.

I am the mother of two girls who play hockey, skateboard, bake cookies, color, climb trees, and swim. One loves dresses, the other wouldn't be caught dead in one.

He asked me what I call them. I asked him why I had to call them anything. They're just kids. Normal kids in the 21st century.

I'm chalking it up to his age. He's also from Guatemala and I don't know enough about his culture to know if that is an influence. He seemed offended that I didn't agree that I (a hockey playing mom) or my kids are tomboys.
I heard it plenty growing up referring to me and my friends. Now im just sort of eccentric now that im an adult and found myself. But you may be unintentionally looking to be offended by a perfectly innocuous way for people to refer to females who don't fit standard gender roles. Whether you agree with those societal roles or not, most people who say tomboy don't say it to offend you. They are just saying those young women don't fit in a traditional box. Which is a good thing.
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Old 05-31-2019, 09:17 AM
 
Location: Shawnee-on-Delaware, PA
3,882 posts, read 3,555,989 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vegabern View Post
Do people really still use this term?
I was born in 1960 and I'm male, and I had 2 sisters growing up.

I always thought of the term "tomboy" as a compliment when I was a kid. Girls who could play sports, run fast, and weren't afraid of worms & stuff were considered cool.

In this century however, with the deliberate blurring of gender lines, it's becoming frowned upon to use traditional designations for the genders even as a compliment. I'd certainly be wary of referring to someone or their daughters as a "tomboy" if I wasn't sure they'd take it as a compliment.
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Old 05-31-2019, 10:07 AM
 
Location: North Dakota
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I haven't heard that term in quite some time. Probably because traditional gender roles are thankfully going extinct (in at least some areas) of the ISA.
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Old 05-31-2019, 11:59 AM
 
581 posts, read 122,130 times
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The term tomboy denoted a specific type of a non-conformist, and is a relic of an earlier era of rigidly-enforced conformity. Happily, society as a whole - notwithstanding some change-hating holdouts - has moved beyond such conformist nonsense.
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