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Old 06-08-2019, 01:44 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
46,184 posts, read 44,533,233 times
Reputation: 90332

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Msgenerse View Post
No, I get that I should have but I never did.
Are you saying you NEVER took her to the doc? Did she enroll in school?
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Old 06-08-2019, 01:46 PM
 
Location: Southern New Hampshire
7,518 posts, read 13,211,677 times
Reputation: 23512
Quote:
Originally Posted by Msgenerse View Post
No, I get that I should have but I never did.
And she lives with you (mostly playing games in her room) and you have (clearly) allowed that even though she is now pushing 40?

Does she pay you any rent/expenses?

Why do you put up with an almost-40-year-old "kid" being so useless?
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Old 06-08-2019, 01:54 PM
 
Location: Central IL
16,087 posts, read 9,317,715 times
Reputation: 38031
Quote:
Originally Posted by karen_in_nh_2012 View Post
And she lives with you (mostly playing games in her room) and you have (clearly) allowed that even though she is now pushing 40?

Does she pay you any rent/expenses?

Why do you put up with an almost-40-year-old "kid" being so useless?
OP makes excuses for daughter when it's pointed out she is so dependent and yet isn't satisfied that daughter doesn't have a great job and is married yet.

OP - if your daughter has issues then you need to accept that. Guide her toward getting help, but unless you are her legal guardian you can't MAKE her do much. Do you want to throw her out of your home or move her toward her own apartment that she can manage with a bit of advice from you? She may not be 100% independent but she may be able to do more than you seem to give her credit for - it doesn't have to be all or nothing.
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Old 06-08-2019, 02:08 PM
 
Location: Myrtle Creek, Oregon
13,126 posts, read 13,168,612 times
Reputation: 21287
Quote:
Originally Posted by greatblueheron View Post
Spends time in her room on videos at age 35??? She still lives with you?????

This first post seems a bit questionable but...

Insist she see a psychiatrist or evict her....you need to set boundaries that have consequences and she'll respond in kind, hopefully. If you don't change anything, she won't change...
Yeah, the woman has a serious case of chronic parentits. Eviction is one option. Moving to a one bedroom apartment is another.
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Old 06-08-2019, 04:10 PM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
1,214 posts, read 448,814 times
Reputation: 2931
I hate to say it but a kid turning out to be a loser does not mean they have a medical or psychiatric condition of any sort. There's many far more obvious and likely causes.
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Old 06-08-2019, 05:19 PM
 
1,346 posts, read 446,127 times
Reputation: 4469
I don't know if it was you or someone else, but someone made a post very similar to this once. If it was you, then obviously things have not been resolved. Perhaps instead of focusing on what is wrong with your daughter, you should see a psychologist. Perhaps you could learn why you can't/won't find a solution to this issue.
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Old 06-08-2019, 06:24 PM
 
23 posts, read 7,673 times
Reputation: 34
Quote:
Originally Posted by Msgenerse View Post
No, and I guess I should have. But still, at 35 she should be at a later stage of life.
What's her objection to getting evaluated? And why did she only barely complete high school? There's got to be a backstory here.
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Old 06-08-2019, 06:39 PM
 
Location: Central New Jersey
2,517 posts, read 1,036,504 times
Reputation: 4482
OP waited till now, at daughters age of 35, to reach out for advice?
This is something OP shoulda done 20 years ago or so.
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Old 06-08-2019, 07:12 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
210 posts, read 114,244 times
Reputation: 530
Quote:
Originally Posted by Msgenerse View Post
No, and I guess I should have. But still, at 35 she should be at a later stage of life.



I'm sorry, but how did she attend school without the occasional physical/vaccination stuff? It was illegal here....
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Old 06-09-2019, 09:04 AM
 
1,483 posts, read 477,789 times
Reputation: 3265
Quote:
Originally Posted by Veritas Vincit View Post
I hate to say it but a kid turning out to be a loser does not mean they have a medical or psychiatric condition of any sort. There's many far more obvious and likely causes.
I disagree. I can't imagine anyone willing spending their lives without friends or spouse living in their parents house. There has to be a serious problem.

My younger cousin used to face the wall and bang his head repeatedly - for fun. This was the 1960's and his mother brought him to the doctor and the doctor said "don't worry, he'll grow out of it."

My sister-in-law could never keep friends because she is bipolar.

They just didn't have the language or foresight to deal with disabilities in the 1960. However, your daughter was born in the mid-1980. I would have thought, right or wrong, that it would have been different by then.

Obviously your daughter need a full evaluation.
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