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Old 06-08-2019, 05:17 AM
 
9 posts, read 5,432 times
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My daughter is 35, and while I always knew she was different, I tried to help her, yet she refuses to go to school or do anything with her life. I strongly suspect she has some autism. She has gotten jobs before but either gets fired or quits saying she just can't deal with working there. She has attended community College that I paid for, but quit that as well, twice.

She barely graduated high school as it is. I have tried to get her some therapy but she refuses to attend. She has had boyfriends but only for a short while, never any girlfriends. I just don't know what to do, I have tried everything, but it has been a very long and difficult time dealing with this. She spends most of her time browsing online, playing video games or just messing around in her room.
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Old 06-08-2019, 06:30 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
42,637 posts, read 41,381,512 times
Reputation: 81958
Quote:
Originally Posted by Msgenerse View Post
My daughter is 35, and while I always knew she was different, I tried to help her, yet she refuses to go to school or do anything with her life. I strongly suspect she has some autism. She has gotten jobs before but either gets fired or quits saying she just can't deal with working there. She has attended community College that I paid for, but quit that as well, twice.

She barely graduated high school as it is. I have tried to get her some therapy but she refuses to attend. She has had boyfriends but only for a short while, never any girlfriends. I just don't know what to do, I have tried everything, but it has been a very long and difficult time dealing with this. She spends most of her time browsing online, playing video games or just messing around in her room.
Did you not take her to a physician as a child or adolescent??
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Old 06-08-2019, 07:41 AM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,371 posts, read 14,216,741 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Did you not take her to a physician as a child or adolescent??
My daughter is slightly younger than OP's, I don't recall autism being much of a 'thing' back then, at least as far as being something that was diagnosed AND talked about often. It probably wasn't on the radar for a lot of parents to ask their pediatricians about.
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Old 06-08-2019, 07:57 AM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
26,793 posts, read 5,726,538 times
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Spends time in her room on videos at age 35??? She still lives with you?????

This first post seems a bit questionable but...

Insist she see a psychiatrist or evict her....you need to set boundaries that have consequences and she'll respond in kind, hopefully. If you don't change anything, she won't change...
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Old 06-08-2019, 08:22 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
42,637 posts, read 41,381,512 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
My daughter is slightly younger than OP's, I don't recall autism being much of a 'thing' back then, at least as far as being something that was diagnosed AND talked about often. It probably wasn't on the radar for a lot of parents to ask their pediatricians about.
True ... especially for girls.

But developmental delays of any kind don't just show up when you're 35, OP.

Did she have issues as a child that you pursued with professionals?
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Old 06-08-2019, 09:51 AM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,552 posts, read 14,180,052 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
True ... especially for girls.

But developmental delays of any kind don't just show up when you're 35, OP.

Did she have issues as a child that you pursued with professionals?
This. 35 years ago we thought of autism as non verbal kids banging their heads into walls. It was rarer and generally appeared in boys. So, if daughter had issues, no one might have considered autism. But, surely there were signs of trouble? Has she had therapy? Is she able to take direction?

I do think that unless she is unable to work because of disability, in which case she needs to be on disability, she needs some tough love. Yeah, she need counseling or some type of therapy, but so does the OP. I sense that OP needs to set rules and enforce them.

But we donít know why daughter refuses to engage with the world as an adult. So, there is a big question mark there. We donít know if she has been spoiled, catered to, had a strict upbringing, is mentally deficient, etc.
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Old 06-08-2019, 09:52 AM
 
9 posts, read 5,432 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
True ... especially for girls.

But developmental delays of any kind don't just show up when you're 35, OP.

Did she have issues as a child that you pursued with professionals?
No, and I guess I should have. But still, at 35 she should be at a later stage of life.
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Old 06-08-2019, 09:53 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
42,637 posts, read 41,381,512 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Msgenerse View Post
No, and I guess I should have. But still, at 35 she should be at a later stage of life.
Well, sure, but you understand that if she does have some kind of impairment, she won't be able to progress through the typical stages like other people do.

We need more info in order to make helpful suggestions. How did she do in school? Has she ever worked?
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Old 06-08-2019, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Central IL
15,032 posts, read 8,390,770 times
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OP - this story sounds very familiar - what was the advice you received earlier?
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Old 06-08-2019, 11:35 AM
 
9 posts, read 5,432 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Did you not take her to a physician as a child or adolescent??
No, I get that I should have but I never did.
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