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Old 06-11-2019, 03:14 PM
 
Location: colorado springs, CO
4,869 posts, read 2,238,941 times
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A few posters have mentioned I should have called the police. I admit; I hadn’t thought of it but it’s given me some ‘food for thought’.

I found out most of the specifics on the way to his house; my initial concern had been due to the weather & the wildlife, so I spent the most time thinking about it after I had dropped him off. My husband was mad at me when I told him because he thinks I’m a terrible judge of character (which is funny, since I married him) & initially I had assumed he was about 16-17 but he was actually 14.

I suppose it could have been unsafe but a kid is a kid; I have 6 boys between the ages of 15-33, teenage boys just don’t send up the red flags for me. Still thinking about the police thing ...
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Old 06-11-2019, 03:16 PM
 
12,869 posts, read 6,167,132 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stagemomma View Post
No, lots of school districts have elaborate routing to get kids to magnet schools, etc. Sometimes there are central locations for pick up.

She could also have been under the influence and or homeless. There are lots of explanations. Regardless of what they were, it wouldn't have hurt for someone to check in with her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CatTX View Post
Thanks for the correction, I haven't had to deal with school stuff for a while and am out of the loop.

My daughter went to summer school one year when she was in HS. The school bus pick up and drop off point was a nearby elementary school. I had to take her to the stop and pick her up after the bus dropped her off.

If, for some reason, I didn't show up to get her, she could have walked into the elementary school office, as the office was staffed year round. Then she could have told them her situation.

Stagemomma --- These days, would it be normal where you live to have a child wait at a strip shopping center for a bus? I would think that it would be better to have a transfer point at a nearby school.
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Old 06-11-2019, 03:40 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
21,014 posts, read 11,633,974 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BOS2IAD View Post
My daughter went to summer school one year when she was in HS. The school bus pick up and drop off point was a nearby elementary school. I had to take her to the stop and pick her up after the bus dropped her off.

If, for some reason, I didn't show up to get her, she could have walked into the elementary school office, as the office was staffed year round. Then she could have told them her situation.

Stagemomma --- These days, would it be normal where you live to have a child wait at a strip shopping center for a bus? I would think that it would be better to have a transfer point at a nearby school.
If it was nearby, why couldn't she just walk home?

I live on the next block over from an elementary, which is a stop for some of the local middle schools (although not my son's unfortunately!). Almost all of the middle school kids walk back and forth to the bus stop on their own.

My own HS son takes the public bus home (no school buses for HS students in my district) and it's 6 blocks away, instead of a half a block, but still reasonable walking distance IMO.
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Old 06-11-2019, 03:50 PM
 
12,869 posts, read 6,167,132 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emm74 View Post
If it was nearby, why couldn't she just walk home?

I live on the next block over from an elementary, which is a stop for some of the local middle schools (although not my son's unfortunately!). Almost all of the middle school kids walk back and forth to the bus stop on their own.

My own HS son takes the public bus home (no school buses for HS students in my district) and it's 6 blocks away, instead of a half a block, but still reasonable walking distance IMO.
If you are asking about my daughter --- While, in terms of distance, the elementary school wasn't that far away. However, the walk home would have been treacherous due to having to cross a very busy main street in a spot where there was no crosswalk, then having to deal with walking in the break down lanes of two more very busy streets.
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Old 06-11-2019, 04:09 PM
 
Location: Sugarland
13,740 posts, read 12,637,025 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BOS2IAD View Post
My daughter went to summer school one year when she was in HS. The school bus pick up and drop off point was a nearby elementary school. I had to take her to the stop and pick her up after the bus dropped her off.

If, for some reason, I didn't show up to get her, she could have walked into the elementary school office, as the office was staffed year round. Then she could have told them her situation.

Stagemomma --- These days, would it be normal where you live to have a child wait at a strip shopping center for a bus? I would think that it would be better to have a transfer point at a nearby school.
I didn’t really think that the girl was saying that the school bus normally picked her up in the strip mall parking lot, but she could’ve just walked from wherever her bus stop was to the parking lot.
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Old 06-11-2019, 04:42 PM
 
Location: Minnesota
2,033 posts, read 828,709 times
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Hind sight is 20/20. Sometimes we don't think of all the possibilities of shoulda, woulda, could a. Take what you learned and easier to make decisions if something like that happens again.

Last edited by Izzie1213; 06-11-2019 at 05:29 PM..
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Old 06-11-2019, 05:58 PM
 
807 posts, read 220,708 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by coschristi View Post
I wonder if she was in ‘the system’ & her ‘parents’ were really foster parents. The way some kids get bounced around from place to place; she could have been confused as to her location & schedule.

A couple of months ago I was at the Dollar store with my disabled 15 year old & saw a boy about his age walking aimlessly around in the parking lot. About the time I went to the register he came in & asked to use their phone. I watched him try & dial several times but never did talk to anyone. When I was putting my son in the car he came outside & just kind of forlornly leaned against the wall wiping his eyes.

Ugh. I couldn’t stand it. It was was late, dark & cold. We’d had packs of coyotes roaming the neighborhoods at night as well. So I asked him if he needed help & I ended up driving him home.

Turns out he was a student at my son’s former middle school down the road & his dad had never shown up to pick him up from Track practice at 5 pm. It was then 8:45 pm. Not only that but he was sure somebody was home & that they just weren’t answering the phone.

Who can forget a kid for almost 4 hours & then not be worried enough to be practically sitting on the phone waiting for it to ring?

I drove up to his house & sure enough there were lights on. Nice house in a way more expensive neighborhood than where I live, yet the kid didn’t have a phone.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw the hindquarters of something canine looking slinking into his neighbor’s backyard so I waited out front until I saw him be let in. I had given him my phone number, in case his parents were concerned & wanted to know who’s car he had been in but nobody ever called.

I just couldn’t understand how a parent wouldn’t even realize that ‘something was missing’ at almost 9 pm on a school night. Something felt off but I knew he wasn’t about to ask me for help. Poor kid.
Or, he told his parents he was going somewhere with a friend after school and got ditched or changed his mind, and they weren't expecting him. Maybe nobody was available to answer the phone. Maybe he told them a friend brought him home. Many different possibilities besides what he said. Kids can blow things out of proportion, be dishonest, etc. (And, I've experienced it before with friends when I was younger, including a college friend my ex and I drove to her hometown because her "mean" parents wouldn't come pick her up to be with her boyfriend who was having surgery. Later it turned out they had a legitimate reason not to, which she forgot to tell us in her sob story... oh, and her claim that she could get a ride back was also a lie and she wanted us to come back and get her when we both had classes and meetings to be at and we had told her specifically that we could take her but could not give her a ride back later...) I'm not saying he was definitely not on the up-and-up, but I'm not willing to say he was definitely a kid whose parents didn't care about him.
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Old 06-11-2019, 07:10 PM
 
Location: Minnesota
2,033 posts, read 828,709 times
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K-12, so true, kids are good at deceiving sometimes.
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Old 06-11-2019, 08:09 PM
 
Location: Southern Most New Jersey
1,072 posts, read 804,184 times
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You can't second guess events like this. That is why I am quick to call the police. They have seen it all, they know how to act.
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Old 06-12-2019, 06:10 AM
 
564 posts, read 152,346 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NJBoy3 View Post
I dealt with a similar situation 30 years ago.

I was working as a flight instructor at the time. Coming home around midnight after doing night training with a student. Tired as could be. About a mile from my house I saw a girl (maybe 16) walking the street in distress. I stopped, she said some boys were chasing her in a car. I did see a car speed off when I stopped to talk with her. Frankly I felt like bait. I told her I could not help. But as I pulled away common sense smacked me in the brain. I went back and the boys in the car were back. When they saw me again they took off. We were about 1/4 mile from a strip mall where I knew there was a telephone. I still was not sure about her and I told her walk ahead of my car to the strip mall and we would call the police. That is what we did. I stayed there until the police arrived. The officer thanked me for looking out for her.

I have had many successful dealings with the police thru the years. They have always been very helpful. When I call I call 911 (and I don't hesitate) and when they answer (if it is not an emergency) I tell them this is not an emergency but please connect me with local police and I tell them why. This always works.

That event changed the way I look at a lot of things. That girl was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I am sure plenty of drivers before me did not stop. And in the end I took no chances with my own safety. We just have to use common sense and think things thru.
You did the right thing! I am sure the girl- now grown up woman is very grateful!
You were smart to not let her in the car and just escort her! One should be aware of not becoming a victim himself.
Still, nowadays with the cell phones everyone has - one should call the police first. The teenage boys and now girls as well are extremely brazen and could have attack a grown man as a pack of wolves.

Nearby in a nearly non- existent crime area a woman was walking a dog and not too late- the car stopped, the girl jumped out and attacked her viciously- hitting hard and stomping on her when the woman fell to the ground.
In a few minutes- a couple of teenagers got out of the car and dragged the offending frenzied girl back into the car. Police thought it was a gang initiation- not local kids, the girl was around 15 y.o.
Luckily, the women survived.

Remember, Ted Bundy used a fake cast on his arm to lure victims away in a broad daylight!
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