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Old 07-05-2019, 05:32 AM
 
2,658 posts, read 1,552,373 times
Reputation: 3207

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Why are you involved at this point? It sounds like your parents and your brother have it figured out in a way that works for them. If anything I would mention the screen time issue but otherwise let it be. It does sound like your brother and his wife are taking advantage of the situation a bit but some kids are incredibly difficult at that age so maybe they just need a break. I know my son cried for my parents on occasion (not daily though) and when he did I would call and bring him over for a little bit.
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Old 07-05-2019, 08:32 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,781 posts, read 70,607,687 times
Reputation: 76753
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frostnip View Post
Sounds like this is between your parents and your brother. But in the meantime, why not get the kid some books or creative toys or art supplies or something so he has something to do other than stare at a screen?
Great idea, if the OP has time! I amused myself with coloring books at that age.
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Old 07-05-2019, 10:52 AM
 
Location: Upper Left Hand Corner
2,573 posts, read 960,743 times
Reputation: 4194
It sounds like if the child didn't have his grandparents he wouldn't have anybody. If that is taken away he would be left with no one who seems to care. Thank God for the grandparents, they are filling a gap.

Could heavy drugs be involved?
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Old 07-05-2019, 05:01 PM
 
1,200 posts, read 356,010 times
Reputation: 3770
I guess I don't understand. Is it your house and your parents are living there for free, or is it your parents house and you are living there with them? If it's their house move out. End of problem.
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Old 07-05-2019, 05:08 PM
 
6,215 posts, read 2,871,412 times
Reputation: 15721
To clarify (based on my reading comprehension). The OP is an equal resident in this household. Ergo a person with a vote in the coming and goings of relatives dropping by and leaving the responsible ADULTS to tend.

The issue is how to curb or even down right stop this crass advantage behavior of the brother. A united front is a direct way. Lock the doors. Stop being so available. Set specific visit times. At some point this Brother needs to earn his right to impose.
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Old 07-05-2019, 05:13 PM
 
7,581 posts, read 2,231,969 times
Reputation: 9138
Everyone knows that kids who are "almost 4" go to "kindergarten" in July.

Right?
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Old 07-05-2019, 07:04 PM
 
1,000 posts, read 303,498 times
Reputation: 2187
Quote:
Originally Posted by michaelq16 View Post
Hi everyone.

When my brother left this house I decided to assume all the expenses to support my parents, they are retired. But I think at this rate I will be supporting a child too.
Why are you supporting your parents?

You can't win. No way your brother will change. Your parents are happy with this situation.

Forget about this.

Stop supporting your parents. Find your own apartment. Make your own life. Have your own children and raise them how you want.

I agree with Frostnip:

Quote:
But in the meantime, why not get the kid some books or creative toys or art supplies or something so he has something to do other than stare at a screen?

Nothing worse for a child than watching TV and Youtube. He should start reading picture books and learning to write and count. Never mind, he should be playing with other children and running outside.
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Old 07-05-2019, 11:07 PM
 
Location: North Dakota
7,742 posts, read 9,037,388 times
Reputation: 11138
Quote:
Originally Posted by michaelq16 View Post
Hi everyone.


I have a little problem with my nephew. He is almost 4 years old, my brother (40 years old) and his (second) wife (24 years old), developed this habit of leaving their child in my house every day after kindergarten. They come to my house, eat something and they leave, just like that, without their son, and with no intention to return, they just go.

This behavior is heavily supported by my parents, actually they started it. My brother lives a couple of streets away from here, so my Parents always say: "Oh don't worry let him stay, I'll take him to your place later". So my nephew spends a lot of time watching TV, watching Youtube, and playing with my Mother's cellphone rather than spending time with his parents.

My brother and his wife are lazy too, they don't even try, they passively accept it, and this situation has got to a point where the kid has expressed rejection, saying things like; "I don't want to be in this house, I want to go with my Grandpa". And they don't seem to take any issue with this, they keep bringing him home and leaving, lately they don't even come anymore, they just call my father on the phone and say that the kid wants to go with him, so my Father has to go pick him up and take him back later at night.

My parents don't see any issue either, they think my nephew doesn't want to be with his parents because they don't know how to deal with him, they don't know how to educate him. So they try to always bring him home so he can be comfortable watching TV.

When my brother left this house I decided to assume all the expenses to support my parents, they are retired. But I think at this rate I will be supporting a child too.

Do you have any advice on how to deal with this, should I speak to my parents or with my brother who will probably take it as an offense, he always does. I've expressed my total disagreement during the past 2 years but they won't listen. I want to try once more, if it fails I will have to leave this house, I can support myself.

Thanks!.
He's three and in kindergarten? Either he's very smart or the school is lax. That first hole in your story aside, it sounds like the parents are borderline neglectful. Maybe threaten a call to CPS.
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Old 07-06-2019, 12:31 PM
 
Location: Richardson, TX
11,087 posts, read 17,562,206 times
Reputation: 27971
Quote:
Originally Posted by NDak15 View Post
He's three and in kindergarten? Either he's very smart or the school is lax. That first hole in your story aside, it sounds like the parents are borderline neglectful. Maybe threaten a call to CPS.
If CPS were called, the kid would end up living with OP and parents full-time! (That might be better for the kid, but not what our OP wants)
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Old 07-06-2019, 12:38 PM
Status: "Disagreeing is not the same thing as trolling." (set 13 days ago)
 
Location: Texas
9,561 posts, read 3,665,665 times
Reputation: 19628
Quote:
Originally Posted by michaelq16 View Post
Hi everyone.


I have a little problem with my nephew. He is almost 4 years old, my brother (40 years old) and his (second) wife (24 years old), developed this habit of leaving their child in my house every day after kindergarten. They come to my house, eat something and they leave, just like that, without their son, and with no intention to return, they just go.


.
You are their free babysitter.

Lots of parents take unfair advantage of the grandparents, even dropping the kid off without any prior notice.

You enable them when you allow it to continue.

Maybe get a part time job and that can be your excuse to get them to stop doing it.
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