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Old 07-06-2019, 11:58 PM
 
Location: Troy, NY
1,058 posts, read 150,061 times
Reputation: 615

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty... View Post
My 12 year old son had a fight against a schoolmate at school today. When a teacher broke it up he got a bloody nose whereas his opponent got off without wounds.

His class calls him a loser and winds him up.

What would you advise him to take action that they stop teasing him?

Thanks for your help!

The only real loser is a person that lets others make them feel like a loser.

If your son lets them get under his skin it's just going to make things worse. When another "schoolmate" tries to wind up your son, he needs to ignore it. Just let the other person flap his lips, pretend he isn't there. Sure the other person may continue, but keep ignoring it. Some might get it sooner than others.

He may face a student who wants to push farther.

Your son needs to follow 3 simple rules:

One, never underestimate your opponent..expect the unexpected

Two, take it outside, never start anything inside the school unless it's absolutely necessary

Three...be nice.

Yes it's from a movie, but it still holds true.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QJsljIDKkk

Quote:
James Dalton:

Pain don't hurt.
Give me the biggest guy in the world; you smash his knee and he'll drop like stone.
__________________________________________________ ____________________________________

I'm not saying your son needs to start fights. He needs to pick his battles more wisely. If he doesn't learn this quick, his high school days will be worse. Kids are cruel, but he needs to adapt.

Parents (& school) intervention often makes these things worse. Many times when parents do intervene, it's for trivial things. Then they miss real cases of harassment.
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Old 07-07-2019, 03:16 AM
 
15 posts, read 3,206 times
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by KimNChicago View Post
Who's in school in July, especially July 5th?

Great Britain
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Old 07-07-2019, 03:31 AM
 
15 posts, read 3,206 times
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by davidt1 View Post
Sounds like he was the loser in that fight. Time to enroll him in an MMA school. He will learn discipline and self-defense. In no time he will emerge victorious and shut them up. Coddling a weak child is not helping him/her. I wish I was called a loser once in a while when growing up. I would have had plenty of time to improve.

Thanks for your advice. I try to convince him to do self-defence but until now he hasn't been interested. Maybe this incident will spur him on to try it.


In my schooldays a fight between two students was rated as tie when a teacher breaks it up independently of "score". Wasn't that so at your school time?
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Old 07-07-2019, 03:43 AM
 
15 posts, read 3,206 times
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by YorktownGal View Post
You need to tell the school to do an intervention. The principal needs to step in. The school social worker/psychologist needs to be involved. His teachers need to make a plan up.

My child was bullied. I called the school a million times asking for help. Then we had a lawyer write a letter to the principal. Suddenly, we got their attention. Sometimes, only a threat of a lawsuit helps.

The following year, we switched schools.

Thanks for your post. The school was only interested in breaking up the fight and punish both boys. If both lads had continued fighting after school in front of school grounds I wouldn't have been sure if some staff had intervened.
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Old 07-07-2019, 03:46 AM
 
15 posts, read 3,206 times
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by NDak15 View Post
Holy ****, you're still in school? It's past the 4th of July! Has he talked to the counselor?

why is it so inconceivable that people outside the United States seek advice from you?
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Old 07-07-2019, 03:53 AM
 
15 posts, read 3,206 times
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by davidt1 View Post
Negative labeling? What is that? Kids don't PC speak. They saw a fight in which one kid won and another lost. They called the kid who lost a loser. What should he be called? Second place winner?

Very sensitive if you'd say that literally to your son.



In my school days you were not the loser when you had a fight and the supervision broke it up. It then ended in a draw.
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Old 07-07-2019, 03:55 AM
 
15 posts, read 3,206 times
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Disgustedman View Post
Have him learn to fight?

No, I don't see any point to do so.
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Old 07-07-2019, 03:59 AM
 
15 posts, read 3,206 times
Reputation: 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wartrace View Post
Good catch. 100% sure this poster is a spam-bot or whatever. I will be blocking them.

Needless post. It isn't possible that someone who isn't an American citizen starts a discussion in this community?
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Old 07-07-2019, 08:23 AM
 
20,541 posts, read 16,611,821 times
Reputation: 38571
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monty... View Post
why is it so inconceivable that people outside the United States seek advice from you?
She called the boys “lads” so guessing UK but again 3000 districts in the USA have year round school now.
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Old 07-07-2019, 10:51 AM
 
Location: Southern California
23,679 posts, read 8,235,451 times
Reputation: 15445
OP: Good to see your comments, so many do jump to conclusions about people and issues, I do my best NOT TO. Your son is not a loser, none of us are and we have to deal with and take life as it's shoveled out to us. Hug your son and tell him you love him. He is loved.
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