I want a Baby and My husband does not? What to do? how to deal?

[Kibbiekat]

Originally Posted by sammlove84

My father remarried his younger (slightly..she was 45 he was 49) wife 6 years ago. My father has me and my two sisters and we are all grown, the youngest being 21. My dad was financially stable and looking at retirement when his wife said she felt the need to have a child. They had agreed before marriage no kids. The way my father looked at it was although he had his list of reasons why not to, they were not even in the same ballpark as her heartand souls new desire to be a mother. He made it clear to her that although he would of course love the child, he would not slow down at work, he would not change their lifestyle, she of course agreed and said she would figure out the logistics (take care of child care arrangements etc) Long story short my dad get his vascectomy reversed, they did fertility injections and now they have an almost 5 year old daughter, my sister, Natalee. The light of both of their lives. My dad still recommeds having children younger but says there are some HUGE benefits to having a child while older. Financial stability, a pretty good and calm idea about whats important in life, job stability, lots of family to help, new appreciation for watching a child groe KNOWING it will be the last opportunity. ANYWAY if you long to have a child deep deep in your soul, that probably won't go away so you need to have a really frank discussion with your husband. It is no one's fault your heart changed, consider what you would do if your husband had a major life goal change. Moving to another country for example or quitting his job to pursue a passion. Would you support that, tell him. Good luck.

that is a horrible way to go into parenting.

this thread is 4 years old. wonder if the couple ever resolved their issue.

[Roxsy]

My husband and I wanted children well at least he said he did. We have been together for 9 years and did 3 rounds of in-vetro but our babies did not make it. I think of my babies as babies not embros. I want to try again but he says he is to old.First he said it was money and if I could come up with the money I could have a baby and try again so I did find away. Now he says he is 49 and to old and will not do it. It took me 6 years to find away to get the money and now he says no. I am heart broken and yes it is his right to not have children if he wishes but I want children and have never said anything different from that. I thought we would have a family together and find happiness but all I do is cry and cry. 9 years was wasted that I could of been with somebody else and had a family .If he had told me he never really wanted children in the beginning I know I would have not married him. I am now 41 and running out of time!! I run a daycare because I love children so much but it is getting harder and harder to do my job because I want a child so much that it is very painful to see all the pregnant women and babies when I want to be one of them. I know if I don't do it now that I will lose my chance forever and he will not allow it and I will never be okay with it . I love my husband but don't think I can ever forgive him for making the decision for me not to have children! A child is a true gift from God and if you are young enough and able to have a baby then do it cause the longer you wait like I did the more it will cause pain and you will end up hating him for not allowing you to become a Mom! Just from my point of view from my life.I am praying that it all works out for you and you find true happiness with a baby in your arms! God bless your life and you!

[Chick80]

I am hoping desperately for another child. After I had my son, my husband begged me for another child. I have epilepsy as well, so that was my concern I had about having a second baby. Now that several years have passed, I approached my husband about another child. Now, he points out all the difficulties I had with the first pregnancy and all the negative scenarios that could result from having another child.

Several years have passed since then. And though he said he was all for it the other night, he is now against it. It kills me inside, because I want so much to grow our family. At this point, I'm just going to stop talking about another baby and see if he decides he wants another baby. I love my husband with all my heart, I really do. But at the same time, my heart is breaking. I constantly feel like crying. I almost wonder if he isn't being spiteful, because I wasn't ready a few years ago.

What do you think I should do?