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Old 08-12-2019, 04:50 PM
 
10,432 posts, read 12,149,929 times
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My dad asked who ate the ice cream and put the empty container back in the refrigerator? I told him it was not me. My other brothers and sisters remained silent. My dad said the guilty one "speaks up first" so I must have been the one. (I did not do it) He took the ice cream container, threw it across the room and told me, "You are on restriction for 22 years!" (I wish I was kidding) I stayed on restriction for 3 years....
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Old 08-13-2019, 05:34 PM
 
32 posts, read 7,824 times
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Goodness gracious these horrible parents!

I thought mine were bad (they were) but some of these parents sound psychotic or almost criminal with physical abuse.

Much sympathy and hope for healing.
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Old 08-13-2019, 06:12 PM
 
10,968 posts, read 4,462,792 times
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Shocking, shocking thread.

I have the littlest stories of when it seemed like I was guilty of something but I wasn't, and was sent to my room, or made to apologize for an infraction I didn't commit, by well-meaning parents who were trying their best.

There are some crazy parents out there. Feeling blessed this evening that I didn't end up with one of them, by the luck of the draw. :-(
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Old 08-15-2019, 08:13 AM
 
497 posts, read 606,008 times
Reputation: 2106
Quote:
Originally Posted by Travelassie View Post
Here's a short list:

1. My dad beat the crap out of me once because my brother reached across me to get some food at the table and knocked over my glass of milk. Guess I was in the wrong because it was my milk.....

2. I was often punished (spanked) by my parents for failing to prevent my younger siblings from doing something they weren't allowed to do. They explained to me that as the oldest child, I was responsible for their behavior.

3. I used to get spanked as a very young child (age 4-5) for being carsick and vomiting in the car during road trips. That was because my dad had a weak stomach and they said I ruined their trip. I hated those trips, spent most of them extremely nauseated, trying not to throw up, because I knew I'd be spanked, then berated for the rest of the trip.

4. My mother once spanked me, then yelled at me nonstop for making her feel bad, for quite a time after that. My offense? I had found some beautiful lily of the valley flowers outside, picked them and brought them in as a little gift to her. I didn't know that she had an aversion to these flowers as they reminded her of her father's funeral (he had died when she was six, and there had been lilies of the valley at his services). I was crushed, had no idea what I had done wrong, and after she got herself together (took a few hours), she informed me that he smell of lilies of the flowers reminded her of her father's death, and though I had no idea, I was still wrong because I had made her feel so bad. Well, that was the last time I ever gave flowers to my mother.
Sounds a lot like my childhood. I was the oldest of four and a girl. My mom told me the day I was born and she found out I was a girl was the second worst day in her life...the worse being the stillborn boy before me. I babysat pretty much nonstop. I knew by 3rd grade I didnít want any kids. Im now in my late 60s and glad I kept that promise to myself. I got in trouble often because I couldnít keep my siblings in line. My mom often said to me donít get into it with your brother because even if you are right he is my favorite and will always win.

I threw up often as a child, probably because of stress. That sent her into a tirade. Meal times were particularly stressful...Iím sure we had similar milk incidents.

I see my mom as an introverted narcissist. She shouldnít have had kids for sure. My dad wasnít much better. He was in my mind a dry drunk the behavior was there but not the alcohol. Sometimes something would be just fine with him and the next time you would be in a lot of trouble for the very same thIng. At least he disliked all of us equallly lol
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Old 08-15-2019, 10:52 AM
 
5,218 posts, read 4,969,821 times
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Two incidents stand out to me.


1. My 8th grade Italian teacher called my parents and falsely accused me of asking her for a cigarette (I've never smoked in my life!) What I think happened was, there was another student in the class who had the same first name as me, a similar last name, and was a smoker. I saw her talking to him before class that day, but she never said anything to me. I told my parents, and they accused me of being a liar. They said that I'll be permanently punished by not being allowed out of my room except to eat and go to school, not be allowed to play Nintendo, and not allowed to use my computer, even for school assignments, until I confessed to asking the teacher for a cigarette, but that I would not be punished for confessing. Unfortunately, this was a Friday, so I would have had to endure that punishment for at least a weekend before having an opportunity to clear it up with the teacher. Since it was clear that they would not believe me, I lied, and said that I did ask the teacher for a cigarette, in order to end the punishment.


My teacher never mentioned the incident, which gave further evidence to my theory that my teacher confused me with another student. Neither my parents nor I ever mentioned the incident again. I always wish that I had been strong enough to avoid giving in and confessing to something that I didn't do. I often wonder what would have happened if the teacher was unwilling to admit that she was wrong. Would my punishment have really lasted until I was 18? Would I have at some point confessed anyway to end the punishment? If I had been willing to accept the punishment, would they have realized eventually that my willingness to accept a punishment rather than confess meant that I was innocent? Or, at some point, even if I never confessed, would they have decided that I did my time, and end the punishment? I wonder if my guidance counselor would have been willing to intervene, but his favorite line was "there is nothing I can do about it", so probably not.


2. This is a case of a threatened punishment that had a serious impact on me. My 8th grade math teacher (who I had a severe personality conflict with) called to complain about my behavior. My father said that if another teacher calls to complain about my behavior, that I will be severely punished, although he did not specify what the punishment would be. He also said that I will get double the punishment if the teacher who complains is my science teacher, since he knew that I did not get along with that teacher. I previously got in trouble in my science class, and my teacher said that if I ever talk back to him again, that I will be kicked out of honors science (I don't feel I talked back to him in any case, but that's besides the point). I overheard my science teacher tell the entire science department that I had epilepsy, which was completely untrue. But I said nothing to him, since I knew he would consider that to be talking back, and I did not want to get kicked out of honors science, nor did I want him to call my parents and get the double punishment that my father threatened me with.


Hopefully nowadays parents realize that intimidating their children into silence is what allows abuse to happen.
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Old 08-15-2019, 05:33 PM
 
7,413 posts, read 1,635,501 times
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Compared to the other horror stories, mine is actually pretty funny -- although I certainly didn't think so at the time!

My one "beauty" (like Jo March in Little Women) was my very long, thick and wavy chestnut hair. However, although I liked my long hair, I did not like the bother of keeping it neat. When I was 15, my dad said that if I wasn't going to take better care of it, I should just cut it. My dad loved long hair on girls, btw, so I knew he didn't mean it, but I took him at his word and cut it off to where it came to just below my chin. Well, he was furious and grounded me for I don't know how long, but I missed a class trip to San Diego that I had really looked forward to for weeks.

Last edited by katharsis; 08-15-2019 at 06:26 PM..
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Old 08-17-2019, 07:14 AM
 
Location: state of transition
144 posts, read 62,116 times
Reputation: 273
Yes. All the time. I was raised in a very abusive household. It still bothers me at my age and I've cut my family off. I am working on myself and getting over my upbringing. I don't have any children for fear that I might make the same mistakes my parents made.
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Old 08-19-2019, 03:38 PM
 
Location: Colorado
12,448 posts, read 7,585,762 times
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When I was quite little (around 4 or 5?) I woke up and was crying in my room in the night. I don't remember why. As a parent now, I know, kids just do that sometimes...nightmares, night terrors...it happens. My Mom was tired of being the only parent to do any parenting, so she asked my Dad if he'd go take care of it. He got up and came into my room and spanked me. He seemed furious. I actually remember how I felt following that spanking. I was very much convinced that no one in the world loved me at all. I only know the entirety of the story because my Mom told me.

Our house was on a plot of land that had a bunch of oak trees (northern Virginia) and once it got toilet papered. The whole yard. My Mom was so upset. So she had me come out to help her clean it all up. I was helping just fine until she tried to make me go into this one area of the yard where I could see a very large bees' nest. It was bigger than a basketball and I was terrified to go anywhere near it. She yelled at me and I tried to point to it, and she didn't listen and hit me. She tells the story now that I turned my head a different way at the last moment and she hit me harder than she'd meant to. Anyhow she gave me a nosebleed.

Thing is I don't remember my parents really punishing me in a logical, considered way. It was just, if they got angry they'd snap and hurt me. I eventually learned to just avoid them. I spent a lot of time in the woods by myself.

Later on, after they divorced, my Stepmother came along and that poor woman had no idea what to do with me. I was used to getting myself food whenever I was hungry, coming and going as I pleased, and I never had any chores. She had a very different idea of how a child ought to be raised. So we were enemies more or less immediately. But one thing I remember with a strong sense of "Really?" was that she was obsessed with horror that I might be masturbating in my room. In all fairness, I probably was from time to time, but I don't think that it's abnormal for kids to do that. I taught my sons that there wasn't anything wrong with it but they needed to make sure they were in PRIVACY because no one else wanted to see that...and that's what pediatricians and (non-religious) experts often advise with kids. Anyways, my stepmother, all freaked out on this idea, took my bedroom door off its hinges so I would never have privacy, and would time me when I was in the shower--she would scream at me if I was in the shower for longer than 3 minutes. But I have long hair, and getting it rinsed isn't easy, and she'd also yell at me if I did not smell clean...not a very easy situation for a young adolescent to deal with. The irony is that I never engaged in "self love" in the shower, particularly. *shrug*
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Old 08-25-2019, 10:41 AM
 
Location: In the Pearl of the Purchase, Ky
7,611 posts, read 13,101,608 times
Reputation: 31658
Nope. I definitely earned every one of my punishments. Not proud of that distinction though.
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Old 08-27-2019, 03:35 PM
 
Location: DFW
800 posts, read 230,439 times
Reputation: 1283
Some of you guys have not just bad, but actually psychotic parents who should have been in prison, honestly. Why did you never call and report them? I can say with 100% certainty I would have.
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