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Old 08-27-2019, 09:35 PM
 
Location: Tampa Bay Burbs
115 posts, read 142,224 times
Reputation: 169

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When my kids told me they had no idea what they wanted to do I asked them to think about what they didn't want to do or what kind of lifestyle they didn't want. When you can do that then you're on your way to deciding where you want to go with your life.
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Old 08-27-2019, 09:49 PM
Status: "cruel summer" (set 19 days ago)
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,770 posts, read 23,501,799 times
Reputation: 49251
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Honestly, she doesn't HAVE to choose anything right now.

Has she worked at all yet? Any part-time jobs while in high school?

I would encourage her to go to college just so she can begin the process to figure it out for herself. She can get exposed to all kinds of classes and people. If she can travel for a study abroad program at some point, even better.

While at college, she should push herself to try different activities and organizations that interest her. Education doesn't just happen in a classroom.

She also can talk to a career advisor at the school to help open up the ideas about what she might want to get paid to do to support herself. But she doesn't need to walk on to the college campus knowing what she wants to do forever.
I agree with this. That's why I am a fan of a liberal arts education. Most students do not know exactly what they want to major in when they begin college. Most colleges give students two years in which to declare a major.

Encourage her to obtain an education first. For so many students, the first two years of uni are when they discover their passion.

Career advisors are also available and extra curricular activities also help expose students to possible career paths.

Remember, university is NOT a trade school. It is where one obtains an education.
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Old 08-27-2019, 11:43 PM
 
Location: around
752 posts, read 256,248 times
Reputation: 661
Thanks very much for the input people.
But you see one reason l feel this way is once when l was about 18 and quitting jobs, a guy said to me, didn't your dad help you decide what you wanna do?
Well no actually , never even asked,
As it turned out where l ended up and along the way to actually, mostly turned out a far better life than the average norm, and the way l wanted my life to be in that way, but l did it all myself too, and made plenty of mistakes, would've been nice if dad helped with some guidance, and it might've helped a lot in early days too.

So you know , l'd love to be of some support if l could.
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Old Yesterday, 05:35 AM
 
Location: around
752 posts, read 256,248 times
Reputation: 661
Tbh , the mere thought of any more education that isn't actually achieving something like whatever she decides to do, would make her sick right now.
She's been saying all year she doubts she'll ever use this year or the last, in anything.
And l must admit she's got a point, l never have, been running a business over 30 years, trading shares and buying and selling property, l also run a few of my own rentals and owned my own art gallery but all l've ever needed is the most basic of maths and English.

lronically she gets A plus's in maths and English but says she'll never ever use the garbage they teach past yr 10, ever. ln her opinion the only good it's doing is giving her the marks she wants to get into the course she wants.
Now what do l say to that . !

Last edited by hawk101; Yesterday at 05:49 AM..
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Old Yesterday, 08:58 AM
 
7,124 posts, read 2,566,561 times
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Ya know...there are ways to 'dabble' in art, and maybe make some money. My son's girlfriend designs tshirts, and sells them online. I have no idea how much she makes, but I've bought a couple of them.


Also, she should maybe check out https://www.deviantart.com/ and see if there's anything there that she'd be interested in. If you've never heard of www.deviantart.com don't let the name scare you. It's not like that.


My son and his girlfriend have posted artwork there and sold some stuff.


This would be a way that she wouldn't have to fully commit her whole life or livelihood to, but it might give her an indication (and side money.)
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Old Yesterday, 09:06 AM
 
7,124 posts, read 2,566,561 times
Reputation: 16313
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawk101 View Post
Thanks very much for the input people.
But you see one reason l feel this way is once when l was about 18 and quitting jobs, a guy said to me, didn't your dad help you decide what you wanna do?
Well no actually , never even asked,
As it turned out where l ended up and along the way to actually, mostly turned out a far better life than the average norm, and the way l wanted my life to be in that way, but l did it all myself too, and made plenty of mistakes, would've been nice if dad helped with some guidance, and it might've helped a lot in early days too.

So you know , l'd love to be of some support if l could.

Maybe just...hang out and talk about it in normal conversation. I'm trying to put myself in her shoes, and I think I'd appreciate feedback that didn't pressure me into making a decision. It seems like you have a lot of valuable business experience...that maybe someday, will come in useful for your daughter, and maybe THAT'S what you can communicate to her. Let her know that the world is her oyster, and she has a lot of options, and if you think of some options, throw some of your ideas her way, but with the understanding that ya'll are just talking, and that mostly, if she NEEDS help, you're there for her.
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Old Yesterday, 09:06 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
44,076 posts, read 42,651,633 times
Reputation: 85254
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawk101 View Post
Tbh , the mere thought of any more education that isn't actually achieving something like whatever she decides to do, would make her sick right now.
She's been saying all year she doubts she'll ever use this year or the last, in anything.
And l must admit she's got a point, l never have, been running a business over 30 years, trading shares and buying and selling property, l also run a few of my own rentals and owned my own art gallery but all l've ever needed is the most basic of maths and English.

lronically she gets A plus's in maths and English but says she'll never ever use the garbage they teach past yr 10, ever. ln her opinion the only good it's doing is giving her the marks she wants to get into the course she wants.
Now what do l say to that . !
The point of education IMHO really isn't the grades and specific classes. It's the exposure to new ideas, which it sounds like is what she really needs right now.

Sure, she could follow your path and try to make her way, but since she literally has NO IDEA what she wants to do, exposing herself to more people and ideas will help her fit on that one thing she enjoys.

In the end, while she can use guidance from you, it's up to her.
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Old Yesterday, 11:46 AM
 
2,606 posts, read 677,801 times
Reputation: 4573
It is important to think about the characteristics of an adult occupation for which she might be well suited. As a very bright young girl, she probably has the curse of talent. If you're only good at one thing, well, that's what you do. If, like your daughter, you're good at many things, well, you have to decide.

At the same time, it is important not to look merely at today's occupations but to guess about tomorrow's as well, and be prepared to learn. Indeed, as a hiring manager over many decades, I frequently focused on (a) does a candidate have a positive attitude? and (b) does the candidate have the ability to learn independently?

Read this short anecdote:

***

120 years ago at the turn of the century, over 60% of the US population was directly involved in agriculture, farming, and ranching. Today, it is less than 4%.

Imagine that you could go back in time to 1900 & tell learned academic scholars, politicians, journalists, futurists, and business leaders that in far-off 2019 less than 4% of the nation's population would be directly involved in agriculture.

Then imagine you asked them, "What do you think all the other people will do for a living in far-off 2019?"

Chances are none of those educated leaders would guess:
  • "network engineer,"
  • "geneticist,"
  • "web designer,"
  • "search engine optimization engineer,"
  • "industrial robot tech,"
  • "radiologist,"
  • "professional MMA fighter,"
  • "professional football player,"
  • "cinematographer,"
  • "sound engineer,"
  • "microprocessor architect,"
  • "telemarketer,"
  • "City-Data forum moderator",
  • "cryptocurrency miner",
  • "social media marketer",
  • "physical therapist",
  • "occupational therapist,"
  • "solid state physicist,"
  • "CPU architect,"
  • "mortgage broker,"

-- and the like.

We don't know what the future holds -- it is exceedingly difficult to forecast the future.

How hard is it to forecast the future? Take the Great Manure Crisis of 1894.

Nineteenth-century cities depended on thousands of horses for their daily functioning. All transport, whether of goods or people, was drawn by horses. London in 1900 had 11,000 taxi cabs, all horse-powered. There were also several thousand buses, each of which required 12 horses per day, a total of more than 50,000 horses. There were countless carts, drays, and wagons, all horse-powered and all working constantly to deliver the goods needed by the rapidly growing population of what was then the largest city in the world. Similar figures exist for any great city of the time.

The problem of course was that all these horses produced huge amounts of manure. An adult horse will on average produce 37 pounds of manure and 2.4 gallons of urine per day... In New York in 1900, the population of 100,000 horses produced over 2.5 million pounds of horse manure per day, all of which had to be swept up and disposed of. The city smelled like the inside of a modern day outhouse cooking in the Las Vegas sun.

The problem did indeed seem intractable. The larger and richer that cities became, the more horses they needed to function. The more horses, the more manure. Futurists of 120 years ago estimated that in 50 years every street in London would be buried under nine feet of manure. Moreover, all these horses had to be stabled, which used up ever-larger areas of increasingly valuable land. And as the number of horses grew, ever-more land had to be devoted to producing hay to feed them (rather than producing food for people), and this had to be brought into cities and distributed—by horse-drawn vehicles.

It seemed that urban civilization was doomed.

In 1898 the first international urban-planning conference convened in New York; one of its goals was to figure out what to do about all the horse manure. The conference was abandoned after three days, instead of the scheduled ten, because none of the delegates could see any solution to the growing crisis posed by urban horses and their waste output.

Obviously, the trend that couldn't go on forever. And, well, it didn't.

So when we collectively think about career guidance for the next generation, we need to focus on baseline skills, attitudes, and the ability to learn. It is highly likely that when your daughter is 40 years old, there will be many new & exciting careers that we can only guess at today. In the late 1890s, many tens of thousands of people were employed in the collection and removal of horse manure from the streets of major cities. Just two decades later, the total number of people employed doing that had cratered to a tiny fraction of peak manure-removal employment, as the invention of the internal combustion engine and gasoline powered automobiles, buses and trucks solved the problem of horse manure. All those unemployed manure-removal laborers didn't sit around and whine; they all found other ways to add value to society and thereby earn a living. Any career for which your daughter aspires today will morph in the future into something we barely recognize or it will cease to exist.

The future is brighter than it ever has been. The question is: what to do?

****
While she is figuring out what she DOESN'T want to do (important!), at the university level, in preparation for a lifelong career, I'd counsel every undecided young person to get a solid technical foundation coupled with a solid communications foundation. I'd suggest a year-long sequence in mathematics (probably calculus), chemistry, physics, software engineering, economics, accounting, communications, and creative writing. I'd suggest they study a major language or two (at least to the level of conversational proficiency) among the most widely spoken languages in the world (Mandarin, Hindustani, Spanish, Arabic, Malay and Russian.) I'd counsel them to spend a portion of their early career in B2B commissioned sales, and also in product management.

Of course, along the way, she may find her passion...
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Old Yesterday, 12:04 PM
 
Location: Southern Most New Jersey
1,182 posts, read 853,439 times
Reputation: 1936
Exposure - My parents exposed me to many things. In the end I thought I was making my own choices. Maybe I was but the exposures they gave me both good and bad help me make intelligent decisions.
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Old Yesterday, 01:43 PM
 
Location: Moku Nui, Hawaii
9,824 posts, read 19,050,798 times
Reputation: 8744
On a more practical level, ask her how she imagines she's going to pay her mortgage/rent and expenses as a functional adult. Fine art is nice and all, but I'd guess most fine artists have side jobs in service occupations or some other income. Graphic artists can always do fine art on the side until the fine art starts to pay more than graphic art.


If she wants to do something online, well, go to it. Online is available to all age groups and education levels.


If there's some way to monetize her passions, that could be a happy world for her. So, what is she passionate about and how can she make money from it?


Nothing says you have to be only one thing, either. And many folks make different career choices over a lifetime.
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