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Old 08-27-2019, 02:14 AM
 
Location: around
751 posts, read 256,248 times
Reputation: 661

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Hi people.
As in the title, she's 18, just finishing school and thinking about uni courses.
There's quite a few different angles in this so all l can do here is try to explain.
Firstly, from a dads point of view , my lifes been far from conventional.
l only had a few jobs when l left school quit all of them and at 22 started my own business.
l've never liked working for a boss or the restrictions of the typical job thing.
Well, it's had plenty of ups and downs,good times and bads in the 30yrs since but l've pushed through to live the way l like to live,
So l'm not all that good on jobs and careers, l made my own. But it's not the norm or for most people.
So yeah l know a lot about starting your own business and that lifestyle and the perks and problems .
But l don't want to influence her in any way because it's not for most people and frankly, a job and a wage is a better thing anyway in all the practical senses.

2ndly, she's not sure what she wants to do, well it took me a good few yrs to figure that out for myself too, so l just don't how to help on that one.

3rdly, she's and extremely good artist. but l was and artist myself for 13yrs and l didn't really like the life and it's very hard to unless your successful . But it's also a lifestyle and frame of mind and frankly l was happy to get out of it and back to the real world,
On that one l've suggested if she does wanna go into art then a career , graphic design or something is better really because it's a job and a good wage .
But she's like me, she doesn't wanna do anyone else's art, she wants to do her art and thing the way she wants it, well that's what l did and it's as l said above, to me anyway. And it's a hard life for most too, wouldn't wish that on her..
Sooooo, l dunno wth to say on the art front either.

4thly she is extremely intelligent and very very clever and she gets A's and A pluses, so she's a very smart cookie. l mean she could do anything and it's sort of a sad waste if she didn't.
But you know what , l haven't know all that many happy high achieving women and that life isn't really her either, it just isn't.
So in being true to myself, l dunno what to say there either as l just want her to be happy and hopefully true to herself and doing hopefully something she just loves doing.

All in all , l don't feel equipped to help , and although she's always admired my lifestyle and the way l make my own rules and my own boss, at the same time again , as l said above .
So over all, l feel like l should just keep my mouth shut because what l've done and lived is me , but it's not the norm and really, the norm is in most ways a better path.
lt's safe , steady, pays and hopefully well, you've got some security and back up and paid holidays and there's a lot to be said for it.
Problem is she's far more like me than her mum, whom is the job kind, nice and steady and safe. But eh she doesn't like it and she's still working like a dog- we're divorced.

The last thing is , man it's weird to me , my 18yr old girl , looking at a career. You know , it's just weird how girls come out of school now and are expected to choose a career . l know it's been like that for a long long time , but with your own daughter it really hits home.

Anyway , make of all that lot what you will if you made it this far and l appreciate it, but if you have any thoughts and tips , l'd love to hear them and thanks in advance.
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Old 08-27-2019, 06:58 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
44,069 posts, read 42,651,633 times
Reputation: 85230
Honestly, she doesn't HAVE to choose anything right now.

Has she worked at all yet? Any part-time jobs while in high school?

I would encourage her to go to college just so she can begin the process to figure it out for herself. She can get exposed to all kinds of classes and people. If she can travel for a study abroad program at some point, even better.

While at college, she should push herself to try different activities and organizations that interest her. Education doesn't just happen in a classroom.

She also can talk to a career advisor at the school to help open up the ideas about what she might want to get paid to do to support herself. But she doesn't need to walk on to the college campus knowing what she wants to do forever.
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Old 08-27-2019, 09:18 AM
 
Location: around
751 posts, read 256,248 times
Reputation: 661
Hi Birdie , and thanks for that.
See what they normally do here is year 12 then onto uni or Tafe if that's the way they want to go rather than just straight out into the work force in some way.
And at uni or Tafe it's usually doing the course that they wanna do as a career , teaching , arts , whatever.
So they basically decide that about now and then apply to whatever uni or Tafe does that course and of they go into that.
Well she has no clue.
What she said she can do is just apply to uni now, just to get accepted, then defer for a year and go work for awhile, meanwhile make her mind up about what course she really wants to do/career and she can change that before she's due to start the following year.
l suppose that's not a bad idea , a lot of them take a year or two off before they start uni.

Her school this year was useless as far as career help.She said they just had a seminar and that was it.

Anyway , maybe your right , maybe just leave it for now, she's applying right now and if she goes ahead with her deferring for 12mths idea , she'll probably have a much better idea later.

No work experience really to speak of, she worked part time for awhile with a hair dresser , hated it haha.
Another thing she has been talking about since she was 12, is starting an on line business , some do very very well. l don't know what to think or say about that one.
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Old 08-27-2019, 09:25 AM
 
Location: around
751 posts, read 256,248 times
Reputation: 661
And then you hear these stories of some kid that's become this or that and done really well or become a millionaire or something, and the kids have said their parents always told them they can be and do anything they want.
And my daughter could, but l often think telling your kids stuff like that isn't such a good idea. Because you just don't hear about all the millions of failed attempts and broken dreams you know, you only hear about these one offs.
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Old 08-27-2019, 09:33 AM
 
Location: NE Mississippi
13,944 posts, read 8,765,798 times
Reputation: 20349
Try to arrange exposure to lots and lots of different things and she what she picks up to "play" with. It may take some imagination on your part.
One of the complaints I hear (I'm retired) from older workers is that they never knew about this or that until it was too late, because life chose their career for them. As you know, life can do that, and the results are not always pretty. Look at the circuitous route your own life led.


The Kid has intelligence and that will give her latitude. And I'm telling you (you already know), most people don't have much latitude. They take the job they can do and hang on to it until something happens. Make sure she knows of that trap; that's the biggest favor you can do for her. Make sure she knows she is special, and make sure she expects the best of and for herself. But she gets to decide what is best - not someone else.
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Old 08-27-2019, 05:00 PM
 
Location: Bloomington IN
6,611 posts, read 7,931,678 times
Reputation: 16227
Why not tell her what you wrote. It's okay to tell your kids you don't have all the answers. You can share your experience and perspectives and then let her figure out how to be happy and how to make a life she wants--just as you did.

Last edited by rrah; 08-27-2019 at 06:24 PM..
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Old 08-27-2019, 06:58 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
44,069 posts, read 42,651,633 times
Reputation: 85230
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawk101 View Post

See what they normally do here is year 12 then onto uni or Tafe if that's the way they want to go rather than just straight out into the work force in some way.
And at uni or Tafe it's usually doing the course that they wanna do as a career , teaching , arts , whatever.
So they basically decide that about now and then apply to whatever uni or Tafe does that course and of they go into that.
Well she has no clue.
What she said she can do is just apply to uni now, just to get accepted, then defer for a year and go work for awhile, meanwhile make her mind up about what course she really wants to do/career and she can change that before she's due to start the following year.
l suppose that's not a bad idea , a lot of them take a year or two off before they start uni.
Tafe ...

SO 'here" is .... Australia??

Man, all of that info would have been super helpful before I typed up all that stuff specific to the US.

Taking a year off is risky, but if they force you to choose a path at the beginning, I guess it's better than nothing.
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Old 08-27-2019, 07:50 PM
 
Location: NE Mississippi
13,944 posts, read 8,765,798 times
Reputation: 20349
Another thing to consider is this:
Ask yourself just how "portable" this punkin is. See, some people are never going to leave their home area. And that should effect their choice of studies. Others are going to leave home and almost never come back; for them the choices would be different.
And actually, the OP is a better judge of portability than his punkin' is. She may not know herself well enough to judge.
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Old 08-27-2019, 07:52 PM
 
Location: In the Pearl of the Purchase, Ky
7,571 posts, read 13,061,735 times
Reputation: 31478
I let my son decide on his own what he wanted to do. He's always been working on computers. Used to get old computers from friends and make one out of parts of all of them. He went to ITT (before it closed) and studied to be an IT tech, working with computers. Carhart hired him before he graduated and even paid for his last semester and to become A+certified with computers. He started his first job making more than I was making when I retired.
Just let her decide on her own what she wants to do, but be ready to answer any question she may have.
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Old 08-27-2019, 08:09 PM
 
525 posts, read 350,318 times
Reputation: 460
Do it quick before some weird cult with some cute guy gets ahold of her
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