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Old 09-04-2019, 11:31 AM
 
Location: Denver CO
21,494 posts, read 12,126,944 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Off the topic, but I'm just curious what "practical things" did you need to buy because your son is so "frugal"?

Perhaps something like a pillow or blanket or a coffee mug for you to use while you stayed there?
I was just hoping it wasn't toilet paper!
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Old 09-04-2019, 12:47 PM
 
464 posts, read 478,664 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Off the topic, but I'm just curious what "practical things" did you need to buy because your son is so "frugal"?

Perhaps something like a pillow or blanket or a coffee mug for you to use while you stayed there?
Groceries and food since there was almost no food in the apartment. No extra bed, so I ordered a twin mattress & frame. He does have an air mattress, but I slept on it one time for two nights and that nearly did me in. It's not a high quality air mattress. No wash cloths, hand towels and only 2 bath towels. I ordered some inexpensive towels from Amazon and had them delivered while there, but sent them back when I realized it seemed to make my son mad. I thought I was being helpful.

The apartment has almost no furniture, so the only place to sit for several days was a straight backed chair. The only furniture is a love seat (taken by my son), a desk with a PC also used as a TV, a small table with 2 straight backed chairs, a bed and a nightstand. I had to buy some cleaning supplies and gloves because the bathroom sink was filthy and the kitchen counters and sink were filthy. I did feel a bit better after cleaning up.

I understand that some people don't want to accumulate a lot of stuff if they know they are not staying put forever, but I felt like it was all a bit much. Again, my son has a really good job and I'm proud of that. But he is a bit overkill on the frugality IMO.
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Old 09-04-2019, 12:55 PM
 
842 posts, read 294,318 times
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Sounds like these were primarily for your comfort. Not sure how old your son is, but this sounds like typical bachelor stuff.
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Old 09-04-2019, 01:54 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,474 posts, read 17,758,838 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gus2 View Post
Sounds like these were primarily for your comfort. Not sure how old your son is, but this sounds like typical bachelor stuff.
Oh come on, unless it someone who just moved out of a dorm room and is a broke college student, even "bachelors" have a chair for guests to sit on and a wash cloth and a hand towel for guests in the bathroom, or cleaning supplies (to have a clean bathroom & kitchen), for when a date stops over (sleeps over).

I know that there wouldn't be any sleep over dates with me, if the man expected me to share his two (probably dirty) bath towels and not even have a wash cloth so I could wash my face. I would seriously doubt if the sheets were clean if his bathroom and kitchen were filthy. Sheesh!

I wonder if part of the reason that the son needed his father to fly in, instead of having his friends help him, was because of his extreme frugality.

I can see not having an extra bed, but IMHO, it is inappropriate to ask someone (especially an older person) to travel to help you after surgery and expect them to sleep on the floor on an uncomfortable air mattress.

Last edited by germaine2626; 09-04-2019 at 02:03 PM..
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Old 09-05-2019, 05:20 AM
 
4,265 posts, read 1,836,063 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Oh come on, unless it someone who just moved out of a dorm room and is a broke college student, even "bachelors" have a chair for guests to sit on and a wash cloth and a hand towel for guests in the bathroom, or cleaning supplies (to have a clean bathroom & kitchen), for when a date stops over (sleeps over).

I know that there wouldn't be any sleep over dates with me, if the man expected me to share his two (probably dirty) bath towels and not even have a wash cloth so I could wash my face. I would seriously doubt if the sheets were clean if his bathroom and kitchen were filthy. Sheesh!

I wonder if part of the reason that the son needed his father to fly in, instead of having his friends help him, was because of his extreme frugality.

I can see not having an extra bed, but IMHO, it is inappropriate to ask someone (especially an older person) to travel to help you after surgery and expect them to sleep on the floor on an uncomfortable air mattress.
I have been to visit friends (bachelors) and had to buy washcloths and hand towels when staying as a guest. It is really not that uncommon. That said, there was otherwise furniture... I can’t even imagine that.
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Old 09-05-2019, 11:40 AM
 
Location: California
1,673 posts, read 481,901 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gus2 View Post
Sounds like these were primarily for your comfort. Not sure how old your son is, but this sounds like typical bachelor stuff.
Ah no. Is she supposed to have a broken back the whole time she’s staying there helping him out. There really was nothing there got to even sleep on or to use for basic daily amenities. No washcloths or towels, and everything was filthy.
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Old 09-05-2019, 02:26 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,474 posts, read 17,758,838 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RamenAddict View Post
I have been to visit friends (bachelors) and had to buy washcloths and hand towels when staying as a guest. It is really not that uncommon. That said, there was otherwise furniture... I can’t even imagine that.
Wow, I don't think that I ever visited any adult, even poor, college students in apartments, who didn't have even one wash cloth. Maybe that is something new (not using wash cloths).
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Old 09-05-2019, 04:40 PM
 
464 posts, read 478,664 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Wow, I don't think that I ever visited any adult, even poor, college students in apartments, who didn't have even one wash cloth. Maybe that is something new (not using wash cloths).
Me either. I told my son he could have simply told me to pack a wash cloth and towel. I do understand why he doesn't want a lot of furniture, but there has to be some consideration for guests. I couldn't stay in a hotel in this case since he needed someone around at all times for a few days. The overall apartment was reasonably clean, but the filthy bathroom sink with toothpaste and soap scum caked in it and the kitchen sink with food stuck in the drain and the dirty counters were disrespectful to his Mom IMHO. I bought some cleaning wipes, wiped off the counter and showed him that the wipe was filthy and he shrugged as if it was no big deal.
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Old Yesterday, 08:09 AM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,794 posts, read 14,553,533 times
Reputation: 24209
Wow, I was going to suggest going ahead and asking him for some financial help, as hard as that is to do, but considering he probably looks at your purchases as unnecessary waste I think I'd just tough it out if possible. That lifestyle does seem extreme though, doesn't he socialize/visit with other people at home at all?
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Old Yesterday, 12:20 PM
 
464 posts, read 478,664 times
Reputation: 803
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
Wow, I was going to suggest going ahead and asking him for some financial help, as hard as that is to do, but considering he probably looks at your purchases as unnecessary waste I think I'd just tough it out if possible. That lifestyle does seem extreme though, doesn't he socialize/visit with other people at home at all?
I don't think he socializes at home much, but he does have a lot of activities after work and on weekends. Skiing, rec sports teams, etc. He has had friends from the east coast stay over and he says "No one ever complained except you, Mom". He says all his friends live the same way. Again, I totally understand him not wanting to accumulate a lot of stuff. But I don't think I've heard of millenials who make a good living not owning or finding wash cloths necessary, owning 2 very old bath towels, no hand towels, and having no furniture for comfort except 1 love seat. And most people will clean the sinks when Mom comes to visit. He didn't seem to notice when I had to eat standing up because he had to use all of his furniture to sit up and prop his leg after surgery.

I think that some of this comes from being a man, and men in general don't seem to worry too much this type of thing. Part of it is having an extremely frugal attitude toward life. Also, it probably comes from working in an environment where everyone is surrounded by people but they all sit with headphones on blocking out everything so they can focus on work. It makes them sort of unaware of other people and their needs.
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