Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 09-06-2019, 03:18 PM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
16,066 posts, read 21,123,322 times
Reputation: 43615

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
Since OP said that the child was recently diagnosed, one can assume the child IS under a doctor's care. But I would agree with you, GF should consult with her doctor rather than ask us really.
I don't know, doctors tend to have a favorite approach they use. It can be good to ask around and get opinions from people whose doctors may have a different approach. Discard what you feel won't work for your own situation, and maybe explore other options that intrigue you and ask your doctor about them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-06-2019, 03:54 PM
 
13,262 posts, read 8,016,112 times
Reputation: 30753
Quote:
Originally Posted by DubbleT View Post
I don't know, doctors tend to have a favorite approach they use. It can be good to ask around and get opinions from people whose doctors may have a different approach. Discard what you feel won't work for your own situation, and maybe explore other options that intrigue you and ask your doctor about them.

I can agree with that.


My MAIN concern is...how far back is the child in school? IF the child is doing well in school (but the child is probably NOT doing well in school) how much trial and error is the parent comfortable with, at the expense of the child's school progress? It's something to think about and weigh.


I used to know a family who had a son who was ADHD. He did poorly in school for years because first of all, they didn't get him tested (although I'm sure they MUST'VE been encouraged to be tested by teachers.) But they always thought that basically, they could pray it away and handle it with other means.


This poor guy had to repeat SOOO many grades, and when he flunked his junior year of high school twice, he was old enough to drop out, and so he did.


When he was in his 20's, he got himself tested, and lo...yes, he was ADHD, and he was prescribed Aderall. God bless him, he said one day he came in from working, sat down in front of the TV, and for the first time in his life, watched a TV show all the way through, because he could pay attention to the plot.


All those years wasted. It's sad to me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-06-2019, 04:45 PM
 
21,906 posts, read 9,483,127 times
Reputation: 19437
I have an ADHD daughter. I started attending CHADD (https://chadd.org/) support meetings, met with a therapist who specializes in ADHD and have lived with this for 15 difficult years. The ONLY things science and data support as helping with ADHD is meds (stimulants) and exercise. I, like OP, asked this same question years ago at one of the chapter meeting and pretty much every new attendee asked it too and was told the same thing.

When I had to make the decision on whether to medicate or not, my doctor told me to try it and if it didn't work, she can stop. The first response was immediate and dramatic. I gave her a small writing assignment and she did it in 15 minutes. Her confidence was in the toilet before that in spite of the fact that she is gifted. Apparently giftedness and ADHD together are common. It is easy to take them off the meds as well. A lot of people take the kids off meds on weekends because stimulants depress their appetite.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-06-2019, 10:46 PM
 
13,754 posts, read 13,308,274 times
Reputation: 26025
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grlzrl View Post
I have an ADHD daughter. I started attending CHADD (https://chadd.org/) support meetings, met with a therapist who specializes in ADHD and have lived with this for 15 difficult years. The ONLY things science and data support as helping with ADHD is meds (stimulants) and exercise. I, like OP, asked this same question years ago at one of the chapter meeting and pretty much every new attendee asked it too and was told the same thing.

When I had to make the decision on whether to medicate or not, my doctor told me to try it and if it didn't work, she can stop. The first response was immediate and dramatic. I gave her a small writing assignment and she did it in 15 minutes. Her confidence was in the toilet before that in spite of the fact that she is gifted. Apparently giftedness and ADHD together are common. It is easy to take them off the meds as well. A lot of people take the kids off meds on weekends because stimulants depress their appetite.
That is a false statement. There's plenty of research.

I'm not saying meds don't work. I just hate when drugs are given to counteract the food we feed them.

I'm not talking about nightshade, gluten, even sugar. I'm talking about fake colors and flavors that some countries won't even legalize. You can stop wondering why the USA has such a high occurrence of ADD/ADHD.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-07-2019, 05:09 AM
 
10 posts, read 6,336 times
Reputation: 45
I just want to chime in as a fellow sufferer of ADHD. All through grade school I struggled. And I mean struggled hard. We knew pretty early on, like 2nd or 3rd grade, that I had ADHD and my mom refused to go the pharmaceutical route.

I had to endure the trauma and ridicule of attending some “slow classes” as it was termed then by kids, as well as, extra time and a quiet environment for tests in my regular classes, which not only garnered dirty looks from other students but also the feeling that you are different, like there’s something wrong with you. Let’s just say it’s not easy, in fact, it downright sucked and it was not necessary for me to go through the torture of that just because my mom was afraid to medicate me.

Anyhow, when it became apparent mid-junior year that I probably wasn’t going to graduate my mom finally decided to properly treat my condition. And thank God for it. It was like a light finally got switched on and I finally felt like a relatively normal person for once in my life, a normal student that could function and learn alongside her peers. It wasn’t easy to make up for all the time lost and classes I had flunked out of but somehow I managed. I had to take a few accredited online high school courses which you basically teach yourself (NOT easy with ADHD!) and my senior year I had to take an early morning class and stay until the very end of the school day when all my classmates got to leave early. But I managed to pull it all off and graduate with my friends, and this was all because I was finally properly medicated.

And I can proudly say that today I am living my best life. I’m a registered nurse! Had I not been properly medicated and treated for my condition I would not have made it through grade school, let alone nursing school. And most importantly, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.

It’s still the parent’s decision obviously since when we are minors we have no say, for the most part, in healthcare decisions. So at the end of the day she will have to make the decision for her child but please, please, please share with her my story and look for other stories and advise from the ones who actually suffer, the kids (and former kids proudly functioning as adults today) with ADD/ADHD.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-07-2019, 05:51 AM
 
Location: New Yawk
9,196 posts, read 7,227,000 times
Reputation: 15315
Quote:
Originally Posted by hunterseat View Post
That is a false statement. There's plenty of research.

I'm not saying meds don't work. I just hate when drugs are given to counteract the food we feed them.

I'm not talking about nightshade, gluten, even sugar. I'm talking about fake colors and flavors that some countries won't even legalize. You can stop wondering why the USA has such a high occurrence of ADD/ADHD.
I’d be inclined to agree that poor diet and lifestyle can exacerbate ADHD symptoms, but I do not believe they are the cause. Anecdotally, my brother (the stereotypical basement-dwelling gamer) has ADHD and has always eaten a very limited diet of pure garbage... yet my daughter, who has only ever had a super-healthy wholesome diet, also has ADHD

That’s the thing: where do you go from there when your child does eat a “clean”, exercises regularly, has limited screen time, etc, but still can’t function in school? That’s where we were at; I did every “right” from birth, but medication was the one thing that truly helped my daughter.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-07-2019, 06:32 AM
 
13,754 posts, read 13,308,274 times
Reputation: 26025
One stick of gum. That's all it takes. Any yellow cheese. "Junk food" is not the same thing.

It takes diligence and cooperation from all sides. My son turned down candy and said "it's not on my diet" in 3rd grade. The big reese's were fine and white mentos. Probably easier today with all the available organics, natural, etc.

If it's too difficult then do what you think is best. But if you don't stick to it 100% then you can't really know if it works or not.

OP she should read the book.
https://www.amazon.com/Why-Your-Chil...ws_feature_div
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-07-2019, 06:52 AM
 
9,952 posts, read 6,665,261 times
Reputation: 19661
Quote:
Originally Posted by Grlzrl View Post
I have an ADHD daughter. I started attending CHADD (https://chadd.org/) support meetings, met with a therapist who specializes in ADHD and have lived with this for 15 difficult years. The ONLY things science and data support as helping with ADHD is meds (stimulants) and exercise. I, like OP, asked this same question years ago at one of the chapter meeting and pretty much every new attendee asked it too and was told the same thing.

When I had to make the decision on whether to medicate or not, my doctor told me to try it and if it didn't work, she can stop. The first response was immediate and dramatic. I gave her a small writing assignment and she did it in 15 minutes. Her confidence was in the toilet before that in spite of the fact that she is gifted. Apparently giftedness and ADHD together are common. It is easy to take them off the meds as well. A lot of people take the kids off meds on weekends because stimulants depress their appetite.
Thank you. Assuming that kids are going to somehow get better by eating organic is ridiculous. However, taking away recess and other opportunities for kids to be physically active does affect children dramatically. It is unrealistic to expect that they are going to be able to sit quietly during the day when they have no time to run around. I remember I was trying to go into teaching and. Was put into a class with 36 middle school students, 30 of whom were male. The teacher next door would yell if there was any noise whatsoever coming from the classroom. It was just an untenable situation. The kids needed a more active environment than just sitting there quietly for the 2.5-hour session before lunch.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-07-2019, 07:36 AM
 
289 posts, read 489,288 times
Reputation: 337
Look into celebratecalm.simplecast.com. It has great ideas about how to deal with behaviors that go along with ADD/ADHD... defiance, inability to regulate anger, procrastination, lack of motivation with things they don’t want to do, etc. Another good resource is ADDitudemag.org. I only wish I had had these tools when my raising my kids.

Here are some of my suggestions:
- Provide a healthy diet, encouraging eating regularly (no caffeine, try to limit sugar and increase protein to balance blood sugar levels)
- follow a routine, including plenty of sleep
- not too much screen time
- encourage exercise/sports
- reduce clutter and “stuff”, try to be organized
- keep the child busy, but not overly scheduled. Give them tasks where they feel needed and appreciated

Typical punishments don’t work well with these kids. These resources above will help.

https://celebratecalm.simplecast.com...ue-approach-10

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/a...order-adhd.htm

https://celebratecalm.simplecast.com/

P.S. This is not to say that I don’t believe that there is a time and a place for medication, but I think making a few lifestyle adjustments and learning parenting skills for these kids is worthwhile.

Last edited by claytonmom; 09-07-2019 at 08:07 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-07-2019, 10:32 AM
 
13,754 posts, read 13,308,274 times
Reputation: 26025
Frustration and depression come from not being able to compete when these kids are sometimes smarter than the teacher.



Organic is not necessary. Removing chemicals that have the effect of bad drugs on or kids is.

What's ridiculous is dismissing scientific research without studying it or applying it.



Anyway, kudos for the OPs gf for wanting to try a nutritional approach.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:43 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top