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Old 09-09-2019, 12:20 PM
 
Location: Rochester NY
1,350 posts, read 872,732 times
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Just curious what video games you allow your children to play and what their age and restrictions are while playing?


My son is in the 4th grade and for the most part we allow him to play Fortnite, Madden, FIFA, and Rocket League. He does not have a TV in his room so he is restricted to our living room. Typically we only allow him to play on the weekends and on rare occasion during the week. We do not allow him to talk on a mic for online play and turn the outside audio off so he can't hear other online players talk to him.


It really shocks me how many kids that are his same age that play games like Call of Duty, Grand theft Auto, and so many other M-rated games. Not to mention how many kids have consoles in their bedrooms with no online restrictions.


I feel like the guidelines we set are not unreasonable and age appropriate.
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Old 09-09-2019, 04:02 PM
 
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I would not have allowed my kids to play Fortnite in 4th grade (they were beyond that grade when it came out). No first-person shooters at all. It was difficult when their friends were playing Call of Duty and GTA--but they survived and are normal teens with active social lives.

The hardest moment came when my oldest didn't get invited to a close friend's birthday party because they were going to watch several Fast & Furious movies and they knew my child wouldn't be allowed to watch them. We over-compensated a bit with a great night out, but then the friend invited my kid to something special--better than the full birthday party.

I know that my kids played some of these games at friends' houses--and I'm ok with a little bit of it, but I see no reason to allow it at home (or at a friend's house that they visit very frequently).
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Old 09-09-2019, 05:28 PM
 
1,081 posts, read 259,722 times
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The last thing I'd have done when raising my children (they're all in their early 20s now) was to have a game system in the house. I didn't worry about what they were playing at the homes of other children because a severe limit was built-in right there. And not having a console in our house meant they weren't obsessed with gaming in the first place.

I don't know why any serious parents have those mind-stultifying things in their homes...
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Old 09-09-2019, 05:31 PM
 
Location: Central, NJ
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No gaming system and a 3rd grader. I'm as shocked at other kids playing Fortnite as you are at Call of Duty.
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Old 09-10-2019, 06:00 AM
 
Location: Rochester NY
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I don't have a problem with Fortnite since its just a fantasy/cartoon shooter rather than realistic people with blood, dying, etc.
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Old 09-10-2019, 07:17 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
44,416 posts, read 42,936,559 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gt87 View Post
My son is in the 4th grade and for the most part we allow him to play Fortnite, Madden, FIFA, and Rocket League. He does not have a TV in his room so he is restricted to our living room. Typically we only allow him to play on the weekends and on rare occasion during the week. We do not allow him to talk on a mic for online play and turn the outside audio off so he can't hear other online players talk to him.


It really shocks me how many kids that are his same age that play games like Call of Duty, Grand theft Auto, and so many other M-rated games. Not to mention how many kids have consoles in their bedrooms with no online restrictions.


I feel like the guidelines we set are not unreasonable and age appropriate.
Your guidelines sound reasonable.

I tried banning consoles from the house with my first two. Then I found out that when they went to friends' houses they were being real PITAs and trying to dominate their friends' gaming systems because they didn't have any at home.

We got a GameCube at first, which tells you how long ago this was. We had a Wii but they always preferred the Xbox. They mostly played sports games and Call of Duty throughout high school. One year they got an Assassins Creed game, but they got bored with it pretty quickly.

When my youngest came along we already had consoles in the house so banning it wasn't a question. The older brothers weren't allowed to play Call of Duty in front of him when he was a toddler/early elementary.

Now he is in high school and plays sports games and Fortnight with his friends online. Parents have to treat video games like anything else that might become a habit for your child. Banning games altogether automatically leaves your kid out of whatever a majority of his peers are doing.

Gaming is not the devil. My older boys are in their early 20s but luckily they aren't addicts. They play occasionally when they have downtime. But for adolescents, gaming can be like their social capital. It's a way for them to interact without being TOO awkward or intimate, and it's something they can have in common to talk about. Banning gaming altogether leaves your kid out of that conversation.

Like anything, it has to be approached with restraint and self-discipline in mind.

But get used to the parents who apparently let their kids do anything regardless of age. They're out there, and you just have to not associate with them if they don't share your values and approach to something like this.
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Old 09-10-2019, 07:52 AM
 
Location: Rochester NY
1,350 posts, read 872,732 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Parents have to treat video games like anything else that might become a habit for your child. Banning games altogether automatically leaves your kid out of whatever a majority of his peers are doing.

Gaming is not the devil. My older boys are in their early 20s but luckily they aren't addicts. They play occasionally when they have downtime. But for adolescents, gaming can be like their social capital. It's a way for them to interact without being TOO awkward or intimate, and it's something they can have in common to talk about. Banning gaming altogether leaves your kid out of that conversation.

Like anything, it has to be approached with restraint and self-discipline in mind.
I 100% agree with everything you said. IMO banning video games all together is kind of ridiculous. Especially with how much video games have become an essential part of our culture (whether you want to believe it or not). That being said, I do believe there has to be limits and restrictions to prevent it from becoming an addiction, especially at a young age.


While my son does enjoy playing video games, especially with his friends, he is also very athletic as are most of his friends since most of his friends are from sports teams. At most they will play a few rounds of Fortnite or a few games of Madden and then head outside to play soccer or football without me telling them to get off the PS4.


I perfect example of video games being a problem is my nephew who is in the same grade as my son. We went over to their house for a family gathering a few Saturdays ago. We were there from 10am-6pm and the kid was on the Xbox for the first 3 hours we were there, ate lunch, and got back on it for another hour. His parents jokingly said "we can't get him off the Xbox" and just laughed about it. Finally my son was begging him to go in the backyard and play. He finally went out with him, played for about 15 minutes and got on his iPad for the rest of the time we were there. My wife and I spoke about what had happened and we were both in complete shock. 1st of why the parents would allow that and 2nd as to how a 9 year old could play video games for nearly 8 hours straight. But after talked to some other people we know I guess this really isn't out of the normal.
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Old 09-10-2019, 08:24 AM
 
2,586 posts, read 1,492,087 times
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We are a gamer household. We aren't antisocial nor would I allow gaming while company was over unless it was adult conversation I wouldn't expect kids to sit through. I'm not going to punish them with auntie June and I taking about the benefits of a defined benefit pension when they are in third grade. I can teach them that at an age appropriate time. If the cousins are over or friends their age or the conversation is suitable and enjoyable for them they are participating.
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Old 09-10-2019, 08:53 AM
 
1,057 posts, read 760,793 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Now he is in high school and plays sports games and Fortnight with his friends online. Parents have to treat video games like anything else that might become a habit for your child. Banning games altogether automatically leaves your kid out of whatever a majority of his peers are doing.

Gaming is not the devil. My older boys are in their early 20s but luckily they aren't addicts. They play occasionally when they have downtime. But for adolescents, gaming can be like their social capital. It's a way for them to interact without being TOO awkward or intimate, and it's something they can have in common to talk about. Banning gaming altogether leaves your kid out of that conversation.

Like anything, it has to be approached with restraint and self-discipline in mind.

But get used to the parents who apparently let their kids do anything regardless of age. They're out there, and you just have to not associate with them if they don't share your values and approach to something like this.
Totally agree. Banning video games is like banning watching sports. I don't like watching other people play games, but that doesn't mean my kids won't, and that there isn't an (enormous) sub-culture of attending/watching/debating/cheering sporting events. There's a huge gamer sub-culture as well, and purposfully excluding your children from those parts of society does not seem healthy.

Of course, what do I know? My kids are in K, so I have to set up the wii for them. It's jailbroke so they play a Japanese dancing game and a balance board snowboarding game. They haven't figured out how to change discs yet, so my stash of M games (No more Heros, some horror stuff) doesn't need to be locked up yet. We also play Kerbal Space Program together, and they mess around with Paint.

The plan is to restrict them to age-appropriate games. We don't do a lot of screen time, because we live in an area where we can go out to the park, beach, musuem, class, etc. Only time will tell how well we'll be able to stick to the plan.
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Old 09-10-2019, 12:37 PM
 
826 posts, read 521,793 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aridon View Post
We are a gamer household. We aren't antisocial nor would I allow gaming while company was over unless it was adult conversation I wouldn't expect kids to sit through. I'm not going to punish them with auntie June and I taking about the benefits of a defined benefit pension when they are in third grade. I can teach them that at an age appropriate time. If the cousins are over or friends their age or the conversation is suitable and enjoyable for them they are participating.
Ditto. Most of my fondest memories with my son is the two of us sitting on the couch playing co-op Halo or a Lego game together. We would get some snacks, sit beside one another and goof around. It was some serious bonding time.

Eventually he was old enough to save his money for a gaming computer. We would game while chatting in our headphones together in our Discord server playing games like Destiny and Counter Strike.

Some seriously good times with my son.
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