U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 09-13-2019, 12:51 PM
 
201 posts, read 70,857 times
Reputation: 319

Advertisements

https://www.reddit.com/r/GenderCriti...nt_a_baby_boy/

The woman who originally posted that deleted what she wrote but you can still find it on the waybackmachine, she said:

Quote:
I feel like a monster for saying this, but hoping this might be a place where some people can understand, Lately Iíve been feeling like I really want another child, but Iím holding back because I donít know what Iíd do if I had a boy.

I have a daughter who is brilliant and fierce and the best thing in my world. We try hard to keep her free her from all the gendered BS of childhood and let her just be herself, but Iíve learned it all seeps in - from friends, from school, from TV etc.

I donít know how to raise a boy when I genuinely hate modern men and masculinity. My husband is an exception because heís done such a lot of work on himself, and rationally I know that we need more exceptions like this, and good parents to raise them. I know I would love any child with my whole heart, and fight for them like a lioness.

But then I pick my daughter up from her alternative, free-thinking school and see the boys still fighting and kicking in the playground. I hear about my friendís pre teen son sneaking graphic porn on the computer. I hear ďboys will be boysĒ and that those who wonít end up labelled as trans, and I just donít know if I could do it.

Do I have too much anger and trauma with the patriarchy to raise and love a healthy boy? Has anyone else felt or worked through this?
And in the topic, there are several women saying they either have, or would get an abortion if they found out they were having a boy. Isn't this kind of like Eugenics? I don't know what's more crazy, these women or any man that would date, let alone marry such horrible women.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-13-2019, 01:28 PM
 
7,270 posts, read 2,628,366 times
Reputation: 16589
Well, IMO, if this is the way she feels, then she shouldn't have anymore children. I hope she doesn't get pregnant...if she decides she'll abort a boy.


I don't know if I'd label it eugenics, if you define the word as such: "the science of improving a human population by controlled breeding to increase the occurrence of desirable heritable characteristics. Developed largely by Francis Galton as a method of improving the human race, it fell into disfavor only after the perversion of its doctrines by the Nazis."


I'm not sure what the word is that I would use. Maybe it's similar to what China ended up doing, when they passed the "one child" law, and everyone decided they wanted boys. And no, I'm not trying to say this time it's the boys' turn. I think it's awful. I think abortion is awful, and it takes a little bit out of my heart to hear that someone would abort a child because it's not the preferred sex.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-13-2019, 01:58 PM
 
6,575 posts, read 3,058,685 times
Reputation: 16774
Gendercide.

King henry the 8th carried that mentality to preserve the crown.

I dearly longed to have a daughter thinking my ohh so many years of experience and wisdom can empower her. Instead I had two amazing sons. Both are changing the world one action at a time. Their actions disprove most nowadays concepts being brought to the forefront that "men are pigs", or many of the other lumped in degrading statements I hear on the male entity.

We have the power to influence ,to be role models.

I respect the veiled honesty of the poster who conveyed her hesitation. Where I think she limited herself was that she herself needed to change her pre conceived ideas of what a gent is...thru each stage.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-13-2019, 02:32 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,547 posts, read 17,823,070 times
Reputation: 43015
While I have known some future parents who may have preferred a specific sex (like they already had two girls and were hoping for a boy) I have never met anyone who would have considered an abortion because the fetus was the wrong sex.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-13-2019, 02:50 PM
 
201 posts, read 70,857 times
Reputation: 319
Mothers of sons, what do you make of this comment:

Quote:
Same. I'm open about it to pretty much everyone though, and I don't care what they think. It's been my experience that almost 100% of boys/men are sexist against women in SOME way. Almost 100% of them have at some point in their lives mistreated a girl/woman.

I refuse to go through the pain of pregnancy and childbirth, give up my life to raise a kid then have them turn out like Brock Turner or Brett Kavanaugh. Or like some incel/MGTOW who complains on reddit about how all women over 29 are used up hags and he wants to **** 12 year olds. Even if the chance is slim.

I also refuse to turn into one of those women who fawns over her "pwecious baby boy" and throws girls under the bus to protect him when he's a piece of garbage. Best way to avoid that is to simply not have a son.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-13-2019, 02:58 PM
 
6,575 posts, read 3,058,685 times
Reputation: 16774
Quote:
Originally Posted by Azureth View Post
Mothers of sons, what do you make of this comment:
Lol I'd share this with my sons as a type of human not to bring home to meet mama. Wowzers that lady has some major angst . Disappointed that the poster of that rant breathes fresh air and it doesn't quite reach the brain.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-13-2019, 03:30 PM
 
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
3,817 posts, read 9,363,278 times
Reputation: 7428
She genuinely hates modern men and masculinity? She has too much anger and trauma with the patriarchy?

This woman is not fit to parent anyone, including her current daughter. I don't know what her issues her, but her daughter sure will.

As for me, I grew up in a family of mostly girls and that includes my extended family. I then ended up having 3 boys. Oh, how I adore boys and men. I didn't know what I was missing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-13-2019, 04:35 PM
 
4,079 posts, read 9,142,122 times
Reputation: 3310
You are going to the insane fringes of the Internet and posting dumb opinions. They do not have a valid or even remotely mainstream opinion.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-13-2019, 05:24 PM
 
13,240 posts, read 21,039,182 times
Reputation: 35788
I'm the mother of three, all boys. Only once, briefly, did I hope for a daughter, and that was while pregnant with #2, who turned out to be such a sweet child that #3 felt like the trifecta. I found it interesting that my three closest friends also have 3 sons.

I have never come across a parent who lamented the child they gave birth to based on the sex of that child.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-13-2019, 08:25 PM
 
Location: colorado springs, CO
5,305 posts, read 2,439,118 times
Reputation: 17568
Oh geez, she would never have survived if she were me.

Baby #1. Boy
Baby #2. Boy
Baby #3. Boy
Baby #4. Boy
Babies # 5 & # 6. Boy/girl twins.

Baby girl sadly dies at age 4 months but I would have been just as devastated, had it been the boy. No good options there, at all.

Baby #7. Boy
Baby # 8. Girl!
Babies # 9 & # 10. Girl/girl twins.
Baby #11. Boy

One thing a girl like me really needed was a brother. Not in some idyllic, fantasy family sort of way but because I didn't grow up with a brother I really pedastalized boys. My dad is the best man on the face of this earth & the truth is; that most males are not like my dad. I cut the men in my life WAY to much slack & often fell in love with their potential, not the reality.

I'm really proud of my boys mostly but sometimes not. Definitely don't pedastalize men anymore. Except for Dad!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top