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Old 09-13-2019, 07:32 PM
 
366 posts, read 82,125 times
Reputation: 321

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I have two kids, my son is 5 and my daughter is 3. On their own and at school they are very well behaved but together they have been making me crazy. They act wild, bicker and argue and go out of their way to annoy each other and me. My DH and I have tried doing things like putting them in our yard to have them play alone for a bit but they donít want to be out there if one of us isnít there. I recall my brother and I spending hours playing in the yard and this seems to be pretty common for kids to play in the yard on their own for an hour or so but not my kids. I feel like the only time they behave is if Iím reading to them, theyíre watching tv, occasionally playing with their own toys or if weíre out doing a family activity

I feel like I am stressed when Iím in the house with them because they end up being wild and not listening. I work full time so I donít even see them between 9 and 5. I want to enjoy my time with them but they donít behave. I find myself yelling my DH ends up telling as well and it feels chaotic. I feel like they donít listen to me so I will often leave the room. Then my DH gets mad at me. I donít see this getting any easier or better. DH is like you just want quiet kids who just sit there. Well yes sometimes I do! I often feel like I want to leave the house and drive away. Iíd come back of course, lol but theyíve really been putting me on edge lately. They are in kindergarten and preschool and donít seem all that tired when they get home. I think maybe they are tired but just act badly because they are. I just want them to listen and I want things more peaceful.

Any ideas on after school activities? We sometimes do the library or the park if itís nice. Thereís only so much I can do being at work during the week but dinner time, bathtime and bedtime have been unbearable lately. I worked from home today and it was one of those days I wanted to run screaming out of the house. I never thought Iíd be annoyed by my own kids and I do feel bad. When I spend time with them on their own itís great.
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Old 09-13-2019, 07:35 PM
 
379 posts, read 254,695 times
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Normal. I have 5. An older mother with grown children once told me that the only thing that matters is how they behave in public or when they aren't with you.
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Old 09-13-2019, 08:51 PM
 
366 posts, read 82,125 times
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I’m relieved that they behave at school. I just worry that they will misbehave for me for life. When they’re together which is most of the time. I am feeling like I can’t control my kids.
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Old 09-13-2019, 09:04 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
44,579 posts, read 43,075,481 times
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What exactly are they doing when they "act wild"?
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Old 09-14-2019, 04:47 AM
 
366 posts, read 82,125 times
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Running around, jumping, fighting over toys, constantly asking for snacks, not picking things up even when asked.
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Old 09-14-2019, 07:45 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
44,579 posts, read 43,075,481 times
Reputation: 86328
It sounds like an issue of not establishing routines and expectations from the moment they are mobile.

Kids have to be instructed how to behave at home, with reinforcement, and it's a constant process. If you aren't consistent, they won't be either.

It's very difficult to do when you're tired at the end of the day, but that's the nature of parenting. I'll just say you're lucky they are apparently behaving at school. So you need to immediately set some routines and be extremely consistent about enforcement. That may mean sacrificing some down town you want to enjoy.

At some point they will have homework they have to work into the nightly routine, so you will be doing everyone a favor if you set the order now. Whoever cooks dinner, the other parent can supervise some playtime. We used to do the dumbest stuff like have them run back and forth from the fence to see if they could beat their times. You can do bubbles, sidewalk chalk, etc. You can do weeding or trimming in the yard while they "help." Even sweeping the walk is something they can do. Hopefully you have some kind of play structure in the back yard.

A 3-year-old is too young to be playing outside without adult supervision. Your 5-year-old can't be responsible for her, so it's no wonder that's not working. But there are a million online articles about how to keep siblings from arguing and fighting. That is something you have to nip in the bud immediately ("No no! Brothers and sisters don't hit each other!" and then redirect) with positive reinforcement when you catch them doing something nice.

Inside, bring them in with time to calm down and get washed up before dinner. After dinner should be a pretty short routine of quiet play, bathtime, story time and bed. They need plenty of sleep at that age.

Good luck. Unfortunately there are no shortcuts at this age.
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Old 09-14-2019, 09:28 AM
 
16,236 posts, read 18,176,492 times
Reputation: 16053
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post
Running around, jumping, fighting over toys, constantly asking for snacks, not picking things up even when asked.
They undoubtedly need
1. to get their energy out.
2. attention from you.

Running around is pretty normal at this age. You can try a few more structured games like hide and seek, tag, soccer (yes, there are recreation leagues that do soccer for the little ones), candy hunt (like easter egg hunt with candy in the plastic eggs), red light green light, hopscotch. These are mostly for outdoors though and may need you to supervise with kids this young except for the soccer if your park district has the activity for them.

You can also try some of these for indoors.

Tape some lines on the floor for them to jump over. You can use one line at first, then several and challenge them to jump over each one in succession.

Do a similar activity with hula hoops. Let them jump into and out of the circles. You can make it an obstacle course type game with several hula hoops or start with just one.

Cut out paper shapes and play a game where they jump on a particular shape (say all the triangles or all the squares) or do colors (all the blue shapes, etc.). Tape the shapes to the floor.

Use balloons and have them try to hit them and keep them in the air.

Cut out puddle shapes (blue paper) and put the alphabet in the puddles and have them jump or skip to the letters. Again tape the puddles down so they don't slip and fall. With this one they can jump and make the letter sound if you like as well.

You can use music with any of these games if you like.

Try Freeze Dance.
Make an indoor obstacle course with pillows and laundry baskets (you can also use balled up socks as a ball for them to throw into the laundry baskets). Make a line for balancing on by taping a long piece of yarn or string down for them to pretend to walk on like a tight rope.
Do a scavenger hunt.
Make up dances - vary this by having one of them lead and the other try to copy the moves.

Make art with recyclable stuff. Rearrange and take pictures instead of gluing things together so they are moving all the time.
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Old 09-14-2019, 09:51 AM
 
245 posts, read 124,754 times
Reputation: 459
It's like a puppy - you've got to burn off some of that energy. Beyond that don't stress too much - you are NOT a bad parent - they are just pushing all the boundaries at once [EXHAUSTING].

Not to sound like a food crackpot but do look at their diet. Sugar/etc can drive bad behavior.

Fun suggestion - get them a puppy!
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Old 09-14-2019, 12:08 PM
 
1,583 posts, read 2,795,971 times
Reputation: 1572
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post
I have two kids, my son is 5 and my daughter is 3. On their own and at school they are very well behaved but together they have been making me crazy. They act wild, bicker and argue and go out of their way to annoy each other and me. My DH and I have tried doing things like putting them in our yard to have them play alone for a bit but they donít want to be out there if one of us isnít there. I recall my brother and I spending hours playing in the yard and this seems to be pretty common for kids to play in the yard on their own for an hour or so but not my kids. I feel like the only time they behave is if Iím reading to them, theyíre watching tv, occasionally playing with their own toys or if weíre out doing a family activity

I feel like I am stressed when Iím in the house with them because they end up being wild and not listening. I work full time so I donít even see them between 9 and 5. I want to enjoy my time with them but they donít behave. I find myself yelling my DH ends up telling as well and it feels chaotic. I feel like they donít listen to me so I will often leave the room. Then my DH gets mad at me. I donít see this getting any easier or better. DH is like you just want quiet kids who just sit there. Well yes sometimes I do! I often feel like I want to leave the house and drive away. Iíd come back of course, lol but theyíve really been putting me on edge lately. They are in kindergarten and preschool and donít seem all that tired when they get home. I think maybe they are tired but just act badly because they are. I just want them to listen and I want things more peaceful.

Any ideas on after school activities? We sometimes do the library or the park if itís nice. Thereís only so much I can do being at work during the week but dinner time, bathtime and bedtime have been unbearable lately. I worked from home today and it was one of those days I wanted to run screaming out of the house. I never thought Iíd be annoyed by my own kids and I do feel bad. When I spend time with them on their own itís great.

Skating, hockey, something that will get them so worn out the serotonin will take over.
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Old 09-14-2019, 02:05 PM
 
6,591 posts, read 3,079,978 times
Reputation: 16886
Structure ,consistency.
Listening skills help. And I mean as the parent.
My grand daughter cannot be over stimulated. Too much "noise" in activity or physical interaction. She actually has to be brought down from over involvement in activities.
Each kid needs a stable environment...they feed off the energy being experienced. Do you have too much "tv on...phone, distractions ..computer on" ..loud banter ?

Kids don't come with individual instructions. You have to create those guide lines.

I had to stop yelling ..and start listening to their cues they gave off. Discipline can be merely demonstrating what is sharing behavior. Less words ...more behavior mod.
They have the ability to behave...
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