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Old 09-23-2019, 02:55 PM
 
473 posts, read 199,067 times
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In Illinois does anyone know if itís hard to be accepted as a foster parent? Iím 45, husband 47. Both work full time. Have a decent 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom duplex home. Needs new carpet from our 2 small dogs and some updating but itís decent and a good neighborhood. We make 100K between the 2 of us. No criminal background. Pre diabetes, and high BP (meds are taken). We do have 2 guns in the house though. Legal of course and concealed carry. Would that be a deciding factor?
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Old 09-23-2019, 03:34 PM
 
7,429 posts, read 2,696,149 times
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I don't know if this is applicable to your situation, so please take it for what it's worth...


A few years ago, my ex DIL and her boyfriend were busted for making meth out of their home. There were 6 kids in the home at the time. 2 of them belonged to my stepson, who had primary custody. BECAUSE CFS couldn't reach my stepson (he was sound asleep, and he sleeps like the dead) the kids were given to ex DIL's sister, and my stepson had to spend lots of money (lawyer) and months to get his kids back. I suspect that there were things going on that my husband and I didn't know about, but that was the situation.


At one point, so that the 2 grandkids could spend a weekend with us, we had to have a home check. No guns allowed in the house. (We did have one gun. My husband asked my BIL to hang on to it.) This is in Missouri.


And now, we have one of those grandkids staying with us. My husband is supposed to fill out some paperwork...and we're not even sure what the paperwork is for. Stepson isn't the most forthcoming person.
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Old 09-23-2019, 05:34 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
44,715 posts, read 43,201,288 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adriank7 View Post
In Illinois does anyone know if it’s hard to be accepted as a foster parent? I’m 45, husband 47. Both work full time. Have a decent 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom duplex home. Needs new carpet from our 2 small dogs and some updating but it’s decent and a good neighborhood. We make 100K between the 2 of us. No criminal background. Pre diabetes, and high BP (meds are taken). We do have 2 guns in the house though. Legal of course and concealed carry. Would that be a deciding factor?
Given your many threads here on CD about how horrible your marriage is, I urge you not to pursue this idea of fostering.
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Old 09-24-2019, 09:25 AM
 
135 posts, read 65,192 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Given your many threads here on CD about how horrible your marriage is, I urge you not to pursue this idea of fostering.
I agree, but I didn't read her posts because I can care less about their issues, but I do know that people should really work on their marriage before bringing kids into their home. OP needs to reevaluate her relationship, if you dont get along with your partner than how on earth will they get along while parenting troubled kids in foster care. An emotionally healthy environment is important as children need a strong support system especially kids in foster care. Also, personally I think they are way too old for children at that age no offense.
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Old 09-24-2019, 04:42 PM
 
473 posts, read 199,067 times
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40’s are too old to foster?
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Old 09-27-2019, 07:52 AM
 
4,170 posts, read 2,890,117 times
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You can easily google all those questions about current requirements in Illinois. Why would you want to foster at your age while working full time?
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Old 09-27-2019, 08:43 AM
 
6,645 posts, read 3,103,775 times
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Your husband the gun toting braggard wants to be a positive influence with a foster child?

How versed are either of you in tolerating outbursts? Behavior issues and showing up to court?
You will be required to present three affadavits of character from various folks...employer,social group... ( church or some community group), and a family member. The social worker will also inspect the home and do interviews prior to deciding if you meet the basic requirements.
I sense that your age nor your income will be the deciding factor to give favor. They'll instead realize your marriage is less stable then the children being placed into it.
What do you think you and your spouse bring to the table for these placements? How open are you to hiv babies? Or kids who endured abuse? How limitless is your compassion? What is your primary motive in fostering?
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Old 09-27-2019, 01:25 PM
 
Location: Camberville
12,214 posts, read 17,005,334 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by possibleyou View Post
I agree, but I didn't read her posts because I can care less about their issues, but I do know that people should really work on their marriage before bringing kids into their home. OP needs to reevaluate her relationship, if you dont get along with your partner than how on earth will they get along while parenting troubled kids in foster care. An emotionally healthy environment is important as children need a strong support system especially kids in foster care. Also, personally I think they are way too old for children at that age no offense.

40s are definitely not too old. My boss is 49 with a 10 year old and a 6 year old - and that's about average for my peer group. She doesn't indicate which age she's looking at, but a 45 year old could feasibly be the biological parent of a toddler, or even a newborn.


The real problem here is longstanding marital problems. It would be absolutely heartless and selfish to bring a child looking for stability into that situation.
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Old 09-28-2019, 05:37 AM
 
Location: Bloomington IN
6,673 posts, read 8,017,623 times
Reputation: 16428
You're husband is a compulsive liar and gets drunk nightly. Based on many of the threads you start, you tend to have difficulty with relationships of all kinds and tend to be very judgmental of others.

Please don't bring a child into your house.
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Old Today, 07:00 PM
 
Location: San Antonio/Houston/Tricity
39,155 posts, read 57,078,084 times
Reputation: 92235
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adriank7 View Post
In Illinois does anyone know if itís hard to be accepted as a foster parent? Iím 45, husband 47. Both work full time. Have a decent 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom duplex home. Needs new carpet from our 2 small dogs and some updating but itís decent and a good neighborhood. We make 100K between the 2 of us. No criminal background. Pre diabetes, and high BP (meds are taken). We do have 2 guns in the house though. Legal of course and concealed carry. Would that be a deciding factor?
You have disfunctional family. You complain about your husband all the times. He drinks heavily. You are depressed, he is too. You nag and complain. This isn't a role model situation.
In your house every child would be unhappy.
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