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Old 09-29-2019, 02:40 PM
 
4,192 posts, read 3,902,387 times
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My parents told me to keep my hands on the wheel, in plain sight, and follow cop's instructions. If I'm pulled over, I say, "I'm going to get the registration out of the glove compartment, okay? I'm going to get my wallet out of my pocket or purse, okay?" And I'm a White female, but my father still gave me the talk before I started driving. Remember, for the cop, every traffic stop could be his execution.

 
Old 09-29-2019, 02:48 PM
 
21,740 posts, read 17,216,047 times
Reputation: 40526
Quote:
Originally Posted by parentologist View Post
My parents told me to keep my hands on the wheel, in plain sight, and follow cop's instructions. If I'm pulled over, I say, "I'm going to get the registration out of the glove compartment, okay? I'm going to get my wallet out of my pocket or purse, okay?" And I'm a White female, but my father still gave me the talk before I started driving. Remember, for the cop, every traffic stop could be his execution.
Yes I acknowledge that, but teaching this is relatively recent. No one needed that talk in the 70ís and 80ís, getting shot in a traffic stop because your hands werenít in the right place was just not anything that even occurred to people. Iím just saying itís not something even now a lot of people teach to girls, and the fact OP didnít teach this to her daughter 18 years ago does not point to poor parenting IMO. Why is it so important that we judge everyone no matter the thread?
 
Old 09-29-2019, 05:24 PM
 
1,269 posts, read 358,038 times
Reputation: 3626
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlaskaAma View Post
I'm surprised at all the people stating that a young female in the car alone should wait *with the window open.* I'm not an alarmist by any means, but basic common sense says that you don't roll down the window until you verify who it is that has stopped you.
It depends on the situation. I've never been pulled over when I didn't see the car ahead of when the lights were activated. If you're driving down the freeway and all you see behind you is lights, that's another story.


Quote:
Originally Posted by KaraG View Post
Common sense says that if you're speeding and the blue lights come on behind you, you are getting a ticket.
The point is that anybody can buy some police lights, put them in their car, and pull people over. It's been done many times.


Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
I wouldnít assume they taught her that. Iíve done that too....back in the day, it really didnít have to be taught because a cop shooting you during a traffic stop was really unheard of. I would imagine itís taught in poor communities but I donít think itís something most white middle class or higher people give a lot of thought to.
Perhaps I was lying?
Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144 View Post
I was taught by my parents as a child that in a traffic stop, you keep your hands where the cop can see them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
I just find it ridiculous to assume every error in judgement shown by a young person is a reflection of poor parenting. I think itís very unfair. All kids make mistakes, itís part of learning to be an adult.
People are assuming the "poor parenting" because OP seems to be reinforcing it by sympathizing with the daughter rather than realizing she did something that deserved a traffic stop and then did something that deserved a dressing down from a person trying to keep himself alive.
 
Old 09-29-2019, 05:55 PM
 
21,740 posts, read 17,216,047 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144 View Post
It depends on the situation. I've never been pulled over when I didn't see the car ahead of when the lights were activated. If you're driving down the freeway and all you see behind you is lights, that's another story.




The point is that anybody can buy some police lights, put them in their car, and pull people over. It's been done many times.




Perhaps I was lying?




People are assuming the "poor parenting" because OP seems to be reinforcing it by sympathizing with the daughter rather than realizing she did something that deserved a traffic stop and then did something that deserved a dressing down from a person trying to keep himself alive.
Yes I realize you were taught that. I think that was an exception vs the rule in the past though (for Caucasian girls I’m any case). I think daughter learned her lesson, daughters getting hugs and sympathy from her mom after a scary experience is not bad parenting regardless of age of daughter.

If I made a mistake at work and get yelled at by my boss and come home crying and tell my fiancť about it, the last thing I would expect or need is for him to tell me it was all my fault and I deserved it. I probably know that already.

Mom came on here to get others perspectives because she knows she’s not objective where her daughters concerned. I don’t think it’s helpful in the slightest to imply she failed her daughter because she didn’t raise her exactly as your mom did.

Last edited by ocnjgirl; 09-29-2019 at 06:56 PM..
 
Old 09-29-2019, 06:18 PM
 
16,253 posts, read 18,209,780 times
Reputation: 16077
Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144 View Post
<snip>


The point is that anybody can buy some police lights, put them in their car, and pull people over. It's been done many times.

Really? I don't think this has been done *many times.*

Have you evidence that it has?
 
Old 09-29-2019, 06:46 PM
 
1,269 posts, read 358,038 times
Reputation: 3626
Quote:
Originally Posted by nana053 View Post
Really? I don't think this has been done *many times.*

Have you evidence that it has?
Yup. There's a news story every few years.

First news results when I google "impersonating police traffic stop"-- notice these are all recent. I only went with the first page of Google results:

https://www.detroitnews.com/story/ne...op/3773488002/

https://kutv.com/news/offbeat/man-ar...-of-detectives

https://www.wifr.com/content/news/Po...514283291.html

https://www.washingtonpost.com/local...803_story.html
 
Old 09-29-2019, 08:08 PM
 
970 posts, read 264,867 times
Reputation: 2579
Quote:
Originally Posted by Msgenerse View Post
I understand what you're all saying, but she's a real innocent looking girl and really, how many women have pulled a gun from their purse just to shoot a cop? He didn't need to yell.
You as a parent is a problem for your daughter
After numerous people from different states and different backgrounds keep telling you why the cop yelled at your daughter’s inappropriate behavior at the traffic stop- you still don’t get it?

Say a prayer that your child is alive, even if she is shaken. She will remember to do well next time.
Life is like that: no trophies for just “innocent looking”.
The summary of the article below: around 1000 people get short by police on average every year.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/inves...e6f_story.html
Attached Thumbnails
Would you consider this excessive?-dc645862-f05a-47b2-89cc-dc8bf0c3ea2a.jpeg  

Last edited by Nik4me; 09-29-2019 at 08:17 PM..
 
Old 09-29-2019, 08:28 PM
 
Location: Australia
1,154 posts, read 426,816 times
Reputation: 2123
I can understand the girl's reaction. I have been yelled at a couple of times going through US customs, told to put my hands up etc when I must have turned in a way that they thought was not appropriate. Also lectured for possessing an apple, which I had declared and intended to eat on the flight from Vancouver to New York, having no idea that we were to go through US customs in Vancouver.

I found both experiences quite uncomfortable because of the aggressive nature of the officers and this has never happened anywhere else that I have travelled.

I guess I have learnt my lesson as I am very careful when going through the scanners anywhere not to make a jerky movement and of course I now understand the whole customs arrangement.
 
Old Yesterday, 05:28 AM
 
Location: Watervliet, NY
4,431 posts, read 1,692,327 times
Reputation: 8108
Quote:
Originally Posted by Msgenerse View Post
Yesterday around 3:00 PM my daughter got pulled over for speeding, she knows to show license and registration and after she got pulled over as the cop was walking up my daughter was going through her purse to get her license, but while she was doing it the cop yelled "Hey! Put your hands on the wheel!" she was very startled and did but got upset and started crying and the officer explained to get her license and registration which she did, but she said the officer wasn't nice and had a very authoritarian tone.

He came back and gave her a ticket and told her to slow down and left and she came home in tears. I understand speeding is a crime, I am not disputing that, but is it excessive for him to yell at her just for looking for her license in her purse?
No it's not excessive. How does he know she's not rummaging in her purse for a weapon of some kind?

The proper thing to do when you get pulled over is turn off the engine, put your hands in plain sight, and don't do ANYTHING or try to get anything out of pockets, purse or glove compartment until you are ASKED to do so. And when you answer questions, answer honestly and in a neutral tone.
 
Old Yesterday, 05:33 AM
 
Location: Watervliet, NY
4,431 posts, read 1,692,327 times
Reputation: 8108
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyFarm34 View Post
Well, itís a police officerís job to verbally control the situation. They canít read the minds of other people why theyíre digging around in their purse or bag. Fyi, registration supposed to be in glove box, not in purse
Read the OP. Daughter was getting her license out of her purse, not the registration. And no, there is no law that says the registration has to be in the glove compartment. It just needs to be in the car when it is being driven, same as the proof of insurance card.
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