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Old 09-29-2019, 06:08 PM
 
Location: planet earth
5,437 posts, read 2,112,722 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
No, although I knew my daughter was having sex with her bf (I took her for birth control) at 16, I would not have permitted her to have a sleepover. The point was moot anyway, since his father was a pastor at a church where the youth group showed films about people going to hell if they had premarital sex and wouldn't have let that happen to begin with.

The films apparently didn't scare either of the kids.
Where did you think they would be having sex, though?
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Old 09-29-2019, 07:00 PM
 
616 posts, read 214,352 times
Reputation: 586
I find the lack of references to religion in this thread interesting.
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Old 09-30-2019, 05:40 AM
 
Location: Crook County, Illinois
3,707 posts, read 1,724,638 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redguitar77111 View Post
I find the lack of references to religion in this thread interesting.
Don't mind if I do. “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” (Hebrews 13:4, NIV)

I had no such problem. I didn't date in high school, and was never good with women, until maybe a few year ago. Even my first relationship at 18 didn't lead to sex: we dated for a few months, but I still lived at home, and she wasn't highly into me. And later on after I moved out, I simply never brought anyone home. So when it comes to my own hypothetical kids (I'm childfree), I'd only allow my kid and their partner to share a bed if they were at least engaged. I'm an atheist; I just don't my home being used as a hook-up joint.
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Old 09-30-2019, 06:50 AM
 
Location: Canada
5,937 posts, read 4,342,095 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by C24L View Post
I would only allow it if they were married because I am a Christian.
So what does sleeping in the same bedroom have to do with being a Christian? They aren't going to go to hell. It is sex, and hopefully a loving relationship. Having sex is not a mortal sin.

I am also a Christian, and we allowed our sons to have their girlfriends sleep over once they were 18. One of our sons is happily married to the girlfriend who we allowed to sleep over.

Our other son is happy in his own place, not married but has a few "lady" friends. Big deal. I'm just glad that he grew up into a very nice man, and is happy.
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Old 09-30-2019, 09:05 AM
 
86 posts, read 33,765 times
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I always wanted to be a hardnose about not allowing my children to have friends of the opposite sex sleep over
That went by the wayside after the first time when a boy would come out of my daughters room in the morning. The story they give me was oh he was too drunk to drive home and I didn’t wanna let him get in his car.
I had a very hard time enforcing my preference at that point .
Especially since during that time there was a story in the paper regarding six teenagers that were killed driving home after they had stopped at another friends house who refused to allow them into the house because their parents wouldn’t allow it.
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Old 09-30-2019, 11:44 AM
 
Location: Myrtle Creek, Oregon
12,700 posts, read 12,865,310 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
Don't mind if I do. “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” (Hebrews 13:4, NIV)

I had no such problem. I didn't date in high school, and was never good with women, until maybe a few year ago. Even my first relationship at 18 didn't lead to sex: we dated for a few months, but I still lived at home, and she wasn't highly into me. And later on after I moved out, I simply never brought anyone home. So when it comes to my own hypothetical kids (I'm childfree), I'd only allow my kid and their partner to share a bed if they were at least engaged. I'm an atheist; I just don't my home being used as a hook-up joint.
The Abrahamic religions have their roots in the late bronze age, when venereal diseases started to become common. Up until then, sex was a holy thing and there were temple prostitutes to celebrate it. After it became hazardous, those religions died out. You can't go to church for sex if you are going to pick up a dose. Through subsequent centuries, gonorrhea continued to be a serious health problem, and after Columbus, syphilis was added to the hazard.

American culture had a brief period of consequence-free sex in the late '60s early '70s, after the pill but before herpes and HIV. For one rowdy decade, a shot of penicillin could cure any disease you were likely to catch, and the pill put women in control of their own fertility. Remnants of the free sex culture persist, but there is a lot more health risk than there used to be. Promiscuity is really not a good idea. Our culture has moved back to becoming more sexually repressive than it was 50 years ago. With antibiotic resistant strains of gonorrhea coming out of SE Asia, it's only going to get worse.

By far the safest course for parents is to tell their kids to pick one sex partner and stick with them. They probably won't be very good in bed, but they will survive. We had an acronym 50 years ago: STP. Sex Takes Practice. One way to get good at it is experience. Another is education.

If you want your kids to have committed relationships and a satisfying sex life, you might make a copy of the 2008 edition of Joy of Sex available in the house.
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Old 09-30-2019, 11:48 AM
 
Location: Texas from Maryland
185 posts, read 36,135 times
Reputation: 288
Who cares if people are married or not? I know of several UNMARRIED couples with kids and perfectly active lives. The idea of marriage isn't viewed the same anymore.
Anyway back to OP:... yes i would- but only for couples in their late 20s. Anything under that they arent mature enough. Serious relationships only.
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Old 09-30-2019, 11:55 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
32,789 posts, read 20,747,446 times
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I would say if the kids live in my house.... no. If they are adult enough to be living on their own and visit? Sure.
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Old 09-30-2019, 07:30 PM
 
616 posts, read 214,352 times
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Is there any real value to being “pure”?
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Old 09-30-2019, 08:59 PM
 
Location: Mount Juliet, TN
176 posts, read 139,275 times
Reputation: 345
Guess I'm a little odd but if I know they are having sex... at home is better than in the car, out at the lake, at a party, etc. I'd rather they have sex in a safe environment than trying to do it behind my back.

Of course that viewpoint may be jaded having "lived in sin" before getting married and being allowed to "sleep over" in my GF's (wife of 22 years now) room.
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