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Old 09-30-2019, 09:31 PM
 
616 posts, read 214,352 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Caldwell View Post
The Abrahamic religions have their roots in the late bronze age, when venereal diseases started to become common. Up until then, sex was a holy thing and there were temple prostitutes to celebrate it. After it became hazardous, those religions died out. You can't go to church for sex if you are going to pick up a dose. Through subsequent centuries, gonorrhea continued to be a serious health problem, and after Columbus, syphilis was added to the hazard.
However, I know that the Abrahamic religions were all very fearful of the youth interacting with and marrying people outside the religion. The reason circumcision as we know it began was to prevent men born into Jewish families from bathing with non-Jews. Biblical-era circumcision left some of the skin present and was easier to hide or reverse.
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Old 09-30-2019, 09:52 PM
 
2,938 posts, read 1,838,839 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
No, although I knew my daughter was having sex with her bf (I took her for birth control) at 16, I would not have permitted her to have a sleepover. The point was moot anyway, since his father was a pastor at a church where the youth group showed films about people going to hell if they had premarital sex and wouldn't have let that happen to begin with.

The films apparently didn't scare either of the kids.
Having once been a teenage boy, teenage hormones always override the threat of hell. Girl first, repent later.
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Old 09-30-2019, 10:25 PM
 
Location: Putnam County, TN
227 posts, read 47,353 times
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I'm 16 and looking for a boyfriend, yet I would trust no one to sleep with me even if my parents tried to encourage it. So much could happen. My first crush tried very hard to get me into a relationship that would've been sexual at the start (assuming he got his way), even going as far as offering to pretend we were sleeping together as friends without actually doing so; I told him NO, and he'd been unaware of mom's surveillance.

Respect all, love some, trust none. This is the best advice I have.
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Old 10-01-2019, 05:25 AM
 
718 posts, read 719,556 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by celticseas View Post
Would you allow it? I've heard some parents say that they would only if they were married? Does it really make a difference?
As long as both partners were above the age of consent, I would not oppose it. Their bodies, their choice.
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Old 10-01-2019, 06:57 AM
 
852 posts, read 591,788 times
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[quote=Sun Belt-lovertoe even if my parents tried to encourage it. So much could happen. My first crush tried very hard to get me into a relationship that would've been sexual at the start (assuming he got his way), even going as far as offering to pretend we were sleeping together as friends without actually doing so; I told him NO, and he'd been unaware of mom's surveillance.
Respect all, love some, trust none. This is the best advice I have.[/QUOTE]

You are young. Hopefully there will be many people in your life that you can trust. I sure hope you one day find a partner whom you feel you can trust.

My best advise is to learn how to trust other people and strive to be the person that other people can trust.
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Old 10-01-2019, 07:34 AM
 
12,912 posts, read 10,234,259 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by celticseas View Post
Would you allow it? I've heard some parents say that they would only if they were married? Does it really make a difference?
That is going to depend on your beliefs. Conservative or fundamentalist Christians would probably not allow it. Others might, or might not. Very liberal parents would likely make sure that their kids have birth control available. They might be well aware of the fact that being overly strict on a 17- year-old is likely to just push them to sneak away with their partner, which does no one any good and actually is counterproductive because now parents arenít even communicating with their kids.

In short, it depends.
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Old 10-02-2019, 04:36 AM
 
Location: New York Area
16,723 posts, read 6,625,277 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by celticseas View Post
Would you allow it? I've heard some parents say that they would only if they were married? Does it really make a difference?
It could very well have permanent consequences. Not a good idea.
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Old 10-02-2019, 05:09 AM
 
Location: Australia
1,171 posts, read 432,834 times
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Not at our house until they were in a serious relationship and in their twenties. I know they were sleeping at their partners' homes before ours but we were just not comfortable with it here.
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Old 10-02-2019, 06:21 AM
 
Location: Here
1,208 posts, read 295,225 times
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This transpired within the past few years...

Daughter:
Became sexually active at 18 during her senior year of high school. No surprise - she had been with her first serious boyfriend for about six months at that point. She informed my wife about this development shortly after it happened. It was not an issue for us. We raised our daughter to be responsible, and we have always been very happy with her very responsible boyfriend (they are now college graduates and living together).

Whether or not they have ever used our house for sex, I do not know and don't care. If they have, they have been respectfully discreet about it. Until they recently got their own place, my daughter was at home (during college, summer breaks, and also for a few months after graduation) and she and her boyfriend would often spend the night in her room. I think she was 20 or 21 before this ever transpired. Given the layout of the house, they either abstained when my wife and/or I were around, or are exceptionally quiet sex-havers. (they never spent the night at his house - ie, his parent's house - because his parents did not like the idea, even though his parents knew they were spending nights at hour place)

I know our older son had sex in our home at least once, though I only became aware of it the next day (he was up early laundering his bedding - I may not be the most astute judge of human behavior, but even I could put the pieces of that puzzle together). He would have been 17 or 18 at that time. His bedroom was situated/located such that discreet sex would have been easier to pull off than in the case of my daughter.

Our younger son either never used our house for sex, or was sufficiently discreet. I suspect the former, but would not be all that surprised if the latter turned out to be so.

Did we have any issues with this? No.

This is not some situation that calls for a simple YES or NO on page 3 of The Rules of the House. When people reach sexual maturity and begin forming emotional bonds with someone, sex is naturally going to be a consideration. Not only is sex fun, it's a way for couples in a relationship to bond. There are responsible and irresponsible ways to approach this. Abstinence? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand why states with abstinence-only education programs tend to be states with the highest teen pregnancy rates. Because abstinence-only is a feel-good rule for parents, which allows them to deny reality (at least temporarily). Abstinence-only does not serve teens well. Not-in-our-house! rules might prevent sex from happening. More likely, it just redirects the sex to elsewhere, and that place (a backseat, outdoors, etc.) might well be some place where the rushed and furtive nature of the act compromises the use of protection. It also usually entails the shaming of sex and sexual desires. This is wrong, period.

We raised our children to be responsible, to understand that sex is not something to be wantonly indulged in, and to respect others with whom they share a roof. We did not raise them with silly expectations that they be utterly chaste, and we certainly did not embrace any wait-'til-marriage notions.
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Old 10-02-2019, 07:37 AM
 
Location: New York Area
16,723 posts, read 6,625,277 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarisaMay View Post
Not at our house until they were in a serious relationship and in their twenties. I know they were sleeping at their partners' homes before ours but we were just not comfortable with it here.
As well as possible liability issues.
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