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Old 09-28-2019, 11:40 AM
 
88 posts, read 30,501 times
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Would you allow it? I've heard some parents say that they would only if they were married? Does it really make a difference?
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Old 09-28-2019, 12:04 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
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We did not allow our HS and college age children to have "overnight sleepovers" or "casual sex" in our home while they lived there. Frankly, none of my friends or relatives did either. Now, when they were living away from home during college, we just trusted that they were responsible adults in regards to sex.

Now, IMHO, it is a different situation if the child is an adult (mid 20s and above) visiting your home with their long term, committed partner or fiancé.

My niece and her BF have lived together for 15 years. They are over 40 years old. IMHO, it would be silly, and somewhat strange, if their parents required that they stay in separate bedrooms, when they visit, because they aren't married. I am sure that their visits home would significantly decrease.
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Old 09-28-2019, 04:08 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
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Right after I got married, I injured my leg and couldn't get up the stairs to my apartment. We stayed at my parents' house and my mom insisted on separate beds. I thought that was funny.

When my kids are in college, I'll be fine with them bringing home any boyfriends they're serious about. My husband will probably be weird about having anyone sleep over in our house but it won't be because of sex, it will be because he doesn't like strangers in the house when he's trying to sleep.
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Old 09-28-2019, 04:13 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
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No, although I knew my daughter was having sex with her bf (I took her for birth control) at 16, I would not have permitted her to have a sleepover. The point was moot anyway, since his father was a pastor at a church where the youth group showed films about people going to hell if they had premarital sex and wouldn't have let that happen to begin with.

The films apparently didn't scare either of the kids.
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Old 09-28-2019, 05:08 PM
 
18,087 posts, read 4,355,657 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by celticseas View Post
Would you allow it? I've heard some parents say that they would only if they were married? Does it really make a difference?
I would only allow it if they were married because I am a Christian.
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Old 09-28-2019, 10:30 PM
 
Location: North Dakota
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I remember my ex fiancée's parents made me sleep in the basement while she slept upstairs. They were those couples where you wonder how they had kids since they were such prudes.
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Old 09-29-2019, 04:01 PM
 
Location: Texas
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Once they are 18, I cannot control what they did if they aren't living at home.
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Old 09-29-2019, 04:22 PM
 
Location: Where rhotic consonants are either absent or intrusive
8,970 posts, read 5,374,481 times
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Young adults? Sure, no problem.

Teenagers (assuming under 18)... no. Even if they’re both of age to consent, parents should ideally look out for one another; I'm going to safely assume that the other parent(s) would not be too keen on facilitating sleepovers for sexually active minors.
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Old 09-29-2019, 04:56 PM
 
Location: Bloomington IN
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As teenagers--absolutely not. My husband and I lived together our last year of college--it was cheaper and we were together most of the time anyway. It would have been hypocritical to have told our daughter (almost 22 at the time) that her BF (now they are married) couldn't stay in her room. The reality was he stayed with her most of the summer at her apartment. Our son is bringing his girlfriend home at Thanksgiving. He's almost 26. I assume they will stay in the same room.

It might be different if we had other, younger children at home. My parents made my husband and I sleep in separate rooms. His mother did not.
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Old 09-29-2019, 05:41 PM
 
4,426 posts, read 1,781,638 times
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"Would you allow it?"
no.
our house. our rules.

on our extended property:
no illegal drugs.
not even if left in a car.
no under 18 cohabitation.
even if one party is over 18.
our children are spoiled in this way.
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