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I would never do anything to discourage a teenager from holding a job and earning some of their own money.
This country is full of young adults who feel that they should be able to sit on their butt all day while someone else does all the work and takes care of their every need. A teen who wants to hold a job should be encouraged. It is a valuable life skill.
Teenagers tend to be azzhats. That's part of trying to raise a teen. With very few exceptions, their life is difficult and they respond by acting difficult.
A sit down discussion and maybe write down a schedule for her to follow. She will handle it better if it is organized.
You can quietly and gently point out that you are adding another chore to your day to drive her back and forth and that you still need her to carry her share of the household chores.
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
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She should keep the job and you should drive her, unless she truly cannot handle it.
Is she having work issues? Is the overwhelmed with job + school + chores? Helping her identify the issue and having her discuss plans to resolve it are part of the growing up process. Have an ongoing convo with her about her goals.
I can tell you that my youngest son (started working at 14); couldn't keep up with one of his chores. He ended up switching and/or paying his brother to help him out. I don't know the specifics, but they figured it out. He did try to pay me to do the chores (um, no); but I did appreciate and encourage his problem-solving skills.
Alternatively, at one point, one of my sons wanted to buy a car. He was working crazy hours, while doing the school thing, to save up for the car + insurance. The rest of the family chipped in to help him with his chores. We did it to support him and we wanted to send a message that the family works together and picks up the slack sometimes. He definitely appreciated it and we enjoyed helping him.
I didn't give her a ride to work, I went about my life as normal all weekend, Minus bowing down and catering to her. she didn't go to work either, and is now fired.
I didn't give her a ride to work, I went about my life as normal all weekend, Minus bowing down and catering to her. she didn't go to work either, and is now fired.
Wow, ok, is there not a bus that she could have taken? Admittedly our culture does have a problem with "automobile dependency".
You sound like a roommate who is annoyed with the person you live with. The way you talk about her doesn't makes sense for someone who supposedly has spent 16 years raising a child and (presumably) learning how to do that along the way.
I didn't give her a ride to work, I went about my life as normal all weekend, Minus bowing down and catering to her. she didn't go to work either, and is now fired.
Parents like YOU are the reason why I got good at navigating my city's transit system as early as age 14, and took buses to work and summer school like it's nobody's business. Also why I fought tooth and nail when my parents first wanted to move to distant suburb: I knew I'd be a prisoner in my own home that way, like your daughter. My parents relented, and moved to a suburb with a somewhat decent transit system. Have fun kicking yourself in 2 years, when your daughter moves away and never comes back.
Quote:
Originally Posted by txtqueen
I’m now 30 and I wouldn’t take a bus or walk places because it’s not safe and I’m not about to get assaulted or worse.
We must live in different worlds. I've been walking and taking buses/trains since high school age. Granted, I always stayed north of Roosevelt Road (north of 35th Street today, because gentrification), but I'm still around. In fact, I'd prefer to do that all the time, if I had a choice. But this is 'Murrica! We don't want no stinkin' pedestrians in your streets!
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
You sound like a roommate who is annoyed with the person you live with. The way you talk about her doesn't makes sense for someone who supposedly has spent 16 years raising a child and (presumably) learning how to do that along the way.
You sound like a roommate who is annoyed with the person you live with. The way you talk about her doesn't makes sense for someone who supposedly has spent 16 years raising a child and (presumably) learning how to do that along the way.
How should I deal with her slamming doors and yelling at me ?
her chores consist of taking out the kitchen trash every 2 days, and putting the dishes in the dishwasher and emptying them ..
Are the chores too much ?
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