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Old 11-09-2019, 11:14 PM
Status: "Very thankful." (set 6 days ago)
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,985 posts, read 23,854,335 times
Reputation: 49924

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Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
My daughter just wrecked fiancé’s brand new truck. He literally just got it in September. She is hysterical and he is angry.

I have attempted to explain that all that matters is we are ok. The truck can be fixed.

Any tips on navigating this until the tempers and feelings mellow out?

I have already submitted the claim to the insurance company. But he is ready to just trade the truck in and get another one. Obviously that would be ridiculous.
Honestly? It's just a truck. Isn't it insured? It should be. So yes, it's an inconvenience, but it's hardly the end of the world. Your fiance should be doing his best to comfort and reassure his future step daughter, not carrying on like a child. She is upset. BOTH of your jobs are to sooth HER.

Navigating it? Your DAUGHTER FIRST. WAY BEFORE FIANCE and WAY, WAY, WAY before a TRUCK.

Broken trucks can be fixed. Broken children are much more difficult to repair. Protect your CHILD.
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Old 11-10-2019, 07:35 AM
 
11,544 posts, read 8,799,423 times
Reputation: 21117
If you were teaching her to drive in a $60K truck that isn't yours, you should have been ready to grab the wheel and keep her from going in the ditch.



When's the date?
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Old 11-10-2019, 07:43 AM
 
7,531 posts, read 4,409,828 times
Reputation: 5161
Fiancé is mine and daughter is 15. The get their learners permit at 15 and can’t get their actual drivers license until 16 1/2. She drives the truck with him. Apparently she drives terrible with me.

I previously discussed getting a cheap used car for her to drive on but the insurance agent said to let her drive what we already own because it would be so much cheaper than insuring another vehicle. I guess he didn’t think she would do $10k in damage in the first couple weeks of driving. My car is not really cheap either so not sure I want her driving it now either.

We will have a rental car while the truck is being fixed so maybe that’s what she needs to use to get the basics down. I am also considering paying for additional drive time with the driving school instructor. They get 6 hours included.

I think teenagers driving is worse than teenagers dating. We were out last night and a toddler dropped his drink and the mother was flipping out. I just said to her to enjoy these moments. This is the easy stuff. She is going to blink and he will be wrecking a $59k truck....

My parents are no help either. My mom said she literally drove with me twice on the road and I was good to go. I have yet to cause an accident. Maybe it was because I grew up driving atvs, tractors and farm trucks, but I was never this terrible at driving. She almost hit a car head on the last weekend in my car.

She wants to learn and very eager to drive everywhere. But how do you build up their skill before they wreck cars or kill someone. She does amazing driving in neighborhoods and empty parking lots.
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Old 11-10-2019, 07:46 AM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
18,857 posts, read 11,881,489 times
Reputation: 39731
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
She is learning how to drive. We were passing a friends farm and she was looking towards and honking at the friend, causing her to veer off and hit a sign.

I probably shouldn’t have let her drive but she needs the practice.

I lent my car to a friend, so I have been driving his truck this weekend while he was at work. I am farm sitting this week and daughter was helping me feed animals.
BINGO, not your truck, so you had no right to let someone else drive it, especially an inexperienced driver. You are as much at fault as your daughter. I would be as furious as he is.

If I were the fiance', I would have it repaired and trade it in. That wreck will always be on the Carfax, and diminish the value. He bought a new, not wrecked truck, and you gave him back one that was not that way.
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Old 11-10-2019, 07:48 AM
 
7,531 posts, read 4,409,828 times
Reputation: 5161
Quote:
Originally Posted by hunterseat View Post
If you were teaching her to drive in a $60K truck that isn't yours, you should have been ready to grab the wheel and keep her from going in the ditch.



When's the date?
Technically it is mine, because it is legally registered to me but it’s his in that he pays for it and covers the expense for it.

We are not talking a little truck, I would need to not be seat belted in to be able to grab the steering wheel. Also I did that in my car a few weeks ago and her driving instructor said we should not be grabbing the steering wheels. She almost hit an ambulance. We were trying to get into the driving school.

She is terrible at driving but I can’t imagine she is alone. Surely other parents have navigated this driving thing.
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Old 11-10-2019, 07:49 AM
 
Location: Virginia
4,291 posts, read 2,244,237 times
Reputation: 12225
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
Fiancé is mine and daughter is 15. The get their learners permit at 15 and can’t get their actual drivers license until 16 1/2. She drives the truck with him. Apparently she drives terrible with me.

I previously discussed getting a cheap used car for her to drive on but the insurance agent said to let her drive what we already own because it would be so much cheaper than insuring another vehicle. I guess he didn’t think she would do $10k in damage in the first couple weeks of driving. My car is not really cheap either so not sure I want her driving it now either.

We will have a rental car while the truck is being fixed so maybe that’s what she needs to use to get the basics down. I am also considering paying for additional drive time with the driving school instructor. They get 6 hours included.

I think teenagers driving is worse than teenagers dating. We were out last night and a toddler dropped his drink and the mother was flipping out. I just said to her to enjoy these moments. This is the easy stuff. She is going to blink and he will be wrecking a $59k truck....

My parents are no help either. My mom said she literally drove with me twice on the road and I was good to go. I have yet to cause an accident. Maybe it was because I grew up driving atvs, tractors and farm trucks, but I was never this terrible at driving. She almost hit a car head on the last weekend in my car.

She wants to learn and very eager to drive everywhere. But how do you build up their skill before they wreck cars or kill someone. She does amazing driving in neighborhoods and empty parking lots.
So your daughter almost hit another car head on last weekend and then you let her drive your fiancée's 59K truck instead? What about the head on incident didn't give you a clue that she needed more training?
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Old 11-10-2019, 07:54 AM
 
7,531 posts, read 4,409,828 times
Reputation: 5161
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
Honestly? It's just a truck. Isn't it insured? It should be. So yes, it's an inconvenience, but it's hardly the end of the world. Your fiance should be doing his best to comfort and reassure his future step daughter, not carrying on like a child. She is upset. BOTH of your jobs are to sooth HER.

Navigating it? Your DAUGHTER FIRST. WAY BEFORE FIANCE and WAY, WAY, WAY before a TRUCK.

Broken trucks can be fixed. Broken children are much more difficult to repair. Protect your CHILD.
It is insured. The adjuster is looking at it Monday. My previous claims adjuster experience knows it is roughly $10k in damages.

He is not really speaking to either of us. He got up this morning and just left in the truck, said he needed to get out. I don’t have a vehicle right now because my friend has mine. She is battling stage 4 cancer for the second time in three years and works as an RN. She needed a car to get to work this weekend.
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Old 11-10-2019, 07:56 AM
 
7,531 posts, read 4,409,828 times
Reputation: 5161
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bungalove View Post
So your daughter almost hit another car head on last weekend and then you let her drive your fiancée's 59K truck instead? What about the head on incident didn't give you a clue that she needed more training?
How do you give her more training? Her driving instructor says we need to be letting her drive everywhere. She does fine in parking lots and neighborhoods.so how do you give more training without letting them drive? I am open for suggestions.
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Old 11-10-2019, 08:01 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
45,589 posts, read 43,853,222 times
Reputation: 88356
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
How do you give her more training? Her driving instructor says we need to be letting her drive everywhere. She does fine in parking lots and neighborhoods.so how do you give more training without letting them drive? I am open for suggestions.
More time with the driving instructor.

I turned into a terrible nervous wreck and could not ride with my sons when they were learning. It shocked me how the nervousness came over me, and my sons felt it as well. It made THEM more nervous.

I don't think you should teach her. Let her learn with the instructor.
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Old 11-10-2019, 08:15 AM
 
Location: Virginia
4,291 posts, read 2,244,237 times
Reputation: 12225
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck View Post
It is insured. The adjuster is looking at it Monday. My previous claims adjuster experience knows it is roughly $10k in damages.

He is not really speaking to either of us. He got up this morning and just left in the truck, said he needed to get out. I don’t have a vehicle right now because my friend has mine. She is battling stage 4 cancer for the second time in three years and works as an RN. She needed a car to get to work this weekend.
I hope you're not PO'd at him for that. Frankly, it's the best reaction he could have had in the situation.
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