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Old 11-10-2019, 02:27 PM
 
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If you could enroll her in some healthy physical activities such as swimming/diving, gymnastics, even (my favorite) horseback riding lessons, she may learn how proper nutrition strengthens a body for optimal performance. Even becoming aware of animal nutrition helps. 4-H? FFA?
Our bodies are like racecars. We need good fuel & maintenance.
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Old 11-10-2019, 02:37 PM
 
Location: NJ
11,488 posts, read 21,889,490 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
They need family therapy, obviously. She could grow up with debilitating anxiety and low sense of self-worth.

The best thing you can do is be a stable presence in her life. Don't try to change or fix her. Just be consistent and loving, and let her know what a great kid she is. Sometimes extended family members are like a buffer for kids who are in turmoil.
Play therapy for her age is great. My daughter was too old to talk at about 8. She has anxiety/ depression and low self worth some days
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Old 11-10-2019, 03:26 PM
 
Location: Florida
6,381 posts, read 2,980,843 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GummyShark View Post
My brother and his daughter's mom split up when my niece was 2 or 3 and I'm sure it's been hard on her, especially since both her parents have new partners but from what I know and have seen, everybody gives her a lot of love and attention. She's always been shy and wouldn't start speaking until she was 2 and half/3 but it sounds like she has a lot of friends in school and seems like an overall happy kid.

But when it comes to eating, it seems to really upset her. I know kids can get picky but she has said that she doesn't like eating and would rather eat fake foods. She usually cries when we try to get her to eat. My brother made lunch but my niece refused to eat with him and his gf. I got her to eat with me in a separate room but she wanted milk and when we went to the kitchen where my brother and his gf was, my niece got super fussy again and started crying for no reason. She spilled milk all over herself and after she got changed, she went downstairs to play by herself at the door. I asked her why she wouldn't come and play with us and she said she doesn't like anybody. I asked her why and she said nobody likes her. (??!!) I asked her who told her that and she said herself. It worries me that a five year old would be saying something like this. I highly doubt anybody has told her that nobody likes her. Does anybody have any similar experiences?
This is what stood out to me the most.
There is some kind of trauma concerning eating in their presence.
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Old 11-10-2019, 09:02 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
88,012 posts, read 104,255,353 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobdreamz View Post
This is what stood out to me the most.
There is some kind of trauma concerning eating in their presence.
Yeah, and I think this is too much to resolve on CD. OP, I suggest you suggest therapy to your brother. Try to put it in such a way as it would help "Suzie", not because everyone's dysfunctional (even if you think they are).
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Old 11-10-2019, 09:59 PM
 
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Poor tot.

This is why people used to be encouraged to stay together "for the sake of the children."

At 5 abandonment is a priority concern for children. They are very aware they're not able to take care of themselves.

If mommy and daddy leave each other what's to prevent them from leaving her? I'm (perhaps unfairly) assuming this is an unmarried situation.

The "nobody" who doesn't like her is most probably her parents, in her mind. Possibly she's tried to interact with the new "partners" and neither has been nice to her. Ideally she shouldn't even be aware of these people who are most likely transient in her parent's lives anyway.

Family divorce counselling would be in order but good luck with that. It's up to them to decide.

Are there grandparents/your parents or the mother's parents around? Can they help? Be recruited as allies?

Be there for her is really all you, as Auntie, can do.
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Old 11-10-2019, 11:03 PM
Status: "Some people consider sarcasm to be witchcraft" (set 3 days ago)
 
Location: The Ozone Layer, apparently...
2,012 posts, read 729,927 times
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Sometimes people can make little kids feel self conscious or inadequate or even just not liked without even knowingly trying. This happens a lot when they poke fun at them over something. It's a joke to us, but to them its a personal insult.

You don't like them - you are always making fun of them. Everyone makes fun of everything they do.

Its really amplified when its happening to an only child, because their are no other children to take some of the heat/heckling.

There is a reason she doesn't want to be around your brother and his gf. Its not necessarily connected with other issues in her life - unless you brother and his gf seem to bicker a lot.
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Old 11-13-2019, 12:27 AM
 
2,803 posts, read 2,358,645 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ComeCloser View Post
Sometimes people can make little kids feel self conscious or inadequate or even just not liked without even knowingly trying. This happens a lot when they poke fun at them over something. It's a joke to us, but to them its a personal insult.

You don't like them - you are always making fun of them. Everyone makes fun of everything they do.

Its really amplified when its happening to an only child, because their are no other children to take some of the heat/heckling.

There is a reason she doesn't want to be around your brother and his gf. Its not necessarily connected with other issues in her life - unless you brother and his gf seem to bicker a lot.
Nah, they don't bicker. They seem to get along pretty well.

My niece does seem to feel pretty self-conscious. For this reason, she doesn't like being around my other aunts and relatives because they'll adore and admire her in front of everybody and she doesn't like that.
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Old 11-13-2019, 12:30 AM
 
2,803 posts, read 2,358,645 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hunterseat View Post
If you could enroll her in some healthy physical activities such as swimming/diving, gymnastics, even (my favorite) horseback riding lessons, she may learn how proper nutrition strengthens a body for optimal performance. Even becoming aware of animal nutrition helps. 4-H? FFA?
Our bodies are like racecars. We need good fuel & maintenance.
That's probably a good idea. I do try and tell her that she needs to eat if she wants to play.
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Old 11-13-2019, 08:25 AM
 
5,977 posts, read 4,897,970 times
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Perhaps a closer look at the girlfriend wouldn't hurt. Just to be on the safe side. It is a possibility that the gf is not so nice to the girl when no-one is around. We had a very toxic female in our family, in the past, and she was very sneaky and sly, acting innocent and sweet one minute but as soon as you turn your back she was mean and awful, playing mind games and whatnot and trying to turn people against each other.

It's probably a very slim chance it's happening in this situation, but the little girl not wanting to eat in the presence of the dad and gf kind of gave me pause. Since I've been through the above situation, I had to throw that out there, just in case.

Poor little girl. So young to already be having such difficulties.
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Old 11-13-2019, 08:45 AM
 
4,376 posts, read 2,970,993 times
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Well, it's good that she seems to only get upset about eating and everything else is okay.

When she says fake food, I'm wondering if she wants junk food. Maybe someone told her it was fake food.

Or, could she be getting tummy aches from something? Maybe an allergy or sensitivity is making her feel bad when she eats?

My 5 year old grandson went through a phase recently where he thought I didn't like him, just very emotional and crying and afraid to talk to me, but as soon as I asked him to come over and hang out, he was super happy and normal again. We have no idea why he acted that way. Sometimes 5 year olds are just being 5.
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