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Old 11-21-2019, 02:10 PM
 
Location: Canada
6,057 posts, read 4,424,790 times
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Who put the diaper on your son, and did SHE dry the boys off with towels or did they do it themselves?

Just two questions that I would wonder about... and ask your son.

I'd have alarm bells ringing in the "not quite right department" if the answer is your friend for either of the questions, otherwise, no biggie at all!
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Old 11-21-2019, 02:19 PM
 
613 posts, read 155,319 times
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Another mother drying a 6 year old off with a towel is questionable now too?

I’m an actually LOLing.

As I said I’m not a fan of the sleepover thing but this is weird.
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Old 11-21-2019, 03:35 PM
 
2 posts, read 875 times
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Thanks for all the posts.

To answer a couple questions, I would assume the dried them off but not sure. I usually help him dry off when he gets out of the tub at home but he does know how just not great at it. As to the diaper yes she put it on them. When he brought it up he didn’t really seem like it bothered him and I wasn’t sure how I felt so I didn’t want to sound alarming or make him feel like he did something wrong so I just said “oh ok that’s nice, was it fun? Referring to the bath. He said yea I guess. I asked if there daughter was in the tub too and he said no. She is 4. After thinking about it today and asking a coworker she also didn’t think it was a big deal and said the mom probably usually baths her 2 kids together and since my son was there she just had the 2 boys go together and maybe did the daughter separate. She did think the diaper was kinda strange but like y’all said some parents just don’t use pull-ups since they are basically a diaper but cost more. After reading the posts on here and talking to coworker I feel better and I think I was overthinking the situation. Bottom line he came home safe, had a great time and gained a little independence....was his first sleepover other than family. In the future I’ll just make sure to send his pull up even if it means I run home and get it and take it to him. Oh and yes we are pretty good friends with there family. Just never did a sleepover before.
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Old 11-21-2019, 07:35 PM
 
4,322 posts, read 3,974,514 times
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Taking a bath together when you're 6, and with a younger sibling, and adult supervision? Totally fine. Two six year old boys taking a bath together at a sleepover? Weird. It sounds to me as if this mother has her son infantilized, and even more so by the fact that she's diapering him overnight, instead of giving him a pull up to use.

Sure, there was nothing sexual about this. But the mother is treating her son like an infant, and your son doesn't need to be a part of this. Play dates, yes. Sleepovers with this family. Uh, no. Weird.
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Old 11-21-2019, 07:54 PM
 
Location: Cumberland
5,155 posts, read 8,280,901 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elyn02 View Post
Always listen to your voice. Do what BirdieBelle suggested and respond that you are not ready for sleepovers.

In my opinion, a friend who understands socializing boundaries will not push the second time I say, "no, thank you. We are not ready." They either will not take it personally or they will spend some time thinking about why I declined their invitation.

Friends who don't understand socializing boundaries don't need to be spoken to directly. It doesn't work anyway since they will become defensive. Or if you come up with excuses to not do something, they will push their solutions on you. What you need is to spend less time with them.
This.

The odds something "bad" happened are pretty low, but as a parent you should trust your instincts. 6 is a bit young for sleep overs, not impossible but a bit young. 6 year old friends bathing together isn't on its face "pervy" or horrible, but not something I would be comfortable with as a parent.

My suggestion would be to keep the relationship to play dates if the boys really get along and you feel as the parents there is value in that relationship. As for sleepovers, there is nothing wrong with saying "My son is still a bit young, I feel more comfortable waiting until he is older." If the other family doesn't understand or puts you in a position where you feel uncomfortable, it is on them, not you.
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Old 11-21-2019, 09:49 PM
 
Location: Dallas TX
15,269 posts, read 22,276,237 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by parentologist View Post
Taking a bath together when you're 6, and with a younger sibling, and adult supervision? Totally fine. Two six year old boys taking a bath together at a sleepover? Weird. It sounds to me as if this mother has her son infantilized, and even more so by the fact that she's diapering him overnight, instead of giving him a pull up to use.

Sure, there was nothing sexual about this. But the mother is treating her son like an infant, and your son doesn't need to be a part of this. Play dates, yes. Sleepovers with this family. Uh, no. Weird.
Not everyone uses pull ups. They are not budget friendly, and they are not recommended to be part of potty training.
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Old 11-22-2019, 06:35 AM
 
4,322 posts, read 3,974,514 times
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Yes, and in my day children just wet the bed. But bedwetting can be very humiliating, and keeping a child in diapers instead of using a pull-up is humiliating.
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Old 11-22-2019, 08:09 AM
 
Location: Brew City
4,706 posts, read 2,780,806 times
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People getting hung up on diapers vs. pull-ups are quite amusing. Does that fact that they close by tab somehow make them different? They're the same thing. Your kid isn't magically a "big boy" because he wears pull ups.

I would have found it a bit odd that my kid took a bath at a sleepover but my kids didn't/don't bathe every day anyway. Chances are they wanted a bath together though. I can't imagine at six an adult was physically bathing them. They're perfectly capable of doing it themselves (and towelling).

Six is a perfectly reasonable age for a sleepover. Mine have been having sleepovers since preschool.
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Old 11-22-2019, 08:26 AM
 
613 posts, read 155,319 times
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How is giving a 6 year old a bath infintilizing them?
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Old 11-22-2019, 12:10 PM
 
Location: 500 miles from home
31,433 posts, read 17,370,390 times
Reputation: 23650
Quote:
Originally Posted by parentologist View Post
Taking a bath together when you're 6, and with a younger sibling, and adult supervision? Totally fine. Two six year old boys taking a bath together at a sleepover? Weird. It sounds to me as if this mother has her son infantilized, and even more so by the fact that she's diapering him overnight, instead of giving him a pull up to use.

Sure, there was nothing sexual about this. But the mother is treating her son like an infant, and your son doesn't need to be a part of this. Play dates, yes. Sleepovers with this family. Uh, no. Weird.
I completely agree. Something just a little . . . off . . .about the sleepover thing.
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