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Old 11-27-2019, 02:06 PM
 
520 posts, read 218,537 times
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My cousins 13 year old son is out of control. Steals, drugs, abusive with his words, had to be put in a special Ed school. She can’t afford a live in facility and can’t deal with him everyday so her and her husband (not his dad) were thinking of giving him to the state. Wouldn’t they be giving up?
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Old 11-27-2019, 02:46 PM
 
1,214 posts, read 398,573 times
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She needs to seek help from social services. A social worker can help her find a program that she can afford.
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Old 11-28-2019, 02:54 PM
 
Location: Texas from Maryland
491 posts, read 90,766 times
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So sad, seriously. Send him to a juvenile facilities or family court. Teach him a lesson. To just send him away would damage him more. They can't give up! What kind of message would that send to the kid?
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Old 11-28-2019, 03:07 PM
 
6,959 posts, read 3,253,371 times
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From a young age I was given to relatives and then made a ward of the courts. Bitter as I was....no I did not (as an adult) think my parent gave up on me. I think she put her selfish pride to the side and understood I needed a safe environment to grow. Btw my mom was really not pridefilled. ..so not sure what the word would be. She often put the needs of us kids first.
Bottom line ...if this teen is that out of line...resetting him during his formitable years IS the right decision. We have a reform school ...completely paid by the trust fund of the founder. Reknown for its program. Every teen that graduates is respectable and goes onto college.

Stop guilting the parent. It takes a big heart to seek help for this kid.
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Old 11-28-2019, 04:12 PM
 
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It wouldn't be my first choice, but maybe that's the best choice she feels like she can make considering her resources. It's better to do something rather than nothing.
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Old 11-28-2019, 06:45 PM
 
Location: Laurentia
3,098 posts, read 1,416,202 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
She needs to seek help from social services. A social worker can help her find a program that she can afford.
^^^ Absolutely have them do this; excellent advice.

One of my friends had a child who had serious behavioral issues despite counseling, special schooling and other interventions. She and her husband were at the end of their ropes and couldn't afford a program in the state which provided live-in intervention.

They engaged a social worker who WAS able to locate a full-time program for their child and it was free/sliding scale based on income. My friend was able to enroll her child and it was very helpful; the child is now a well-adjusted 24-year-old who is finishing a bachelor's degree in mechanical engineering.
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Old 11-28-2019, 06:51 PM
 
1,581 posts, read 444,818 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adriank7 View Post
My cousins 13 year old son is out of control. Steals, drugs, abusive with his words, had to be put in a special Ed school. She can’t afford a live in facility and can’t deal with him everyday so her and her husband (not his dad) were thinking of giving him to the state. Wouldn’t they be giving up?
As opposed to doing nothing and letting him grow up into a thug? If parents can't control their kids, then yes, I hope someone else does it.
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Old 11-28-2019, 10:12 PM
 
11,678 posts, read 8,855,388 times
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I was actually atty that point and was told I would be paying child support. He wore a tracking bracelet for 2yrs. 14-16. Then went into the NGYCP.
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Old 11-29-2019, 09:51 AM
 
Location: Florida
11,623 posts, read 5,387,793 times
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What is the NGYCP?
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Old 11-29-2019, 11:34 AM
 
Location: The sleepy part of New York City
2,116 posts, read 1,313,647 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chiluvr1228 View Post
What is the NGYCP?
According to google it stands for National Guard Youth Challenge Program. It's a program for at risk kids. I don't know anything about it but it sounds like a good thing. Some kids need that structured environment.


But, Personally, I think the OP's cousins child s issues are related more to drug abuse and the parents should seek out help for that while he's still underage and they're still calling the shots.
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