Screaming children next door (teenagers, play, safety, music)
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Before I sold my house, there was a family two doors down that would let their kids scream at the top of their lungs. It drove me crazy. I sold my house to a family with 6 young children. Their father, a gym teacher, asked me if they thought the older couple next door would mind if they put a swimming pool in the backyard. I told him as long as the children don't scream and make a lot of noise, the couple won't mind. His response was "Well, kids are kids!" So he didn't care how his screaming children would inconvenience his neighbors.
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I've been reading through the responses, and thinking of the parents who have exactly this attitude: kids are kids, and you can't control them. The more extreme parents on this end of the spectrum allow their kids to run the show. And then, there are the parents, as some here mentioned, who defend their kids, with a "how dare you criticize my child" attitude. Times sure have changed. It used to be, that many parents were already aware of the need to get along with neighbors, and to instruct their kids to not get too loud in the yard, not crawl through the shrubbery or hole in the fence to "go exploring" in the neighbors' yard, etc. And if a neighbor ever complained about a child doing something inappropriate, the parent made sure their child heard about it, and modified his/her behavior.
So much for the stroll down memory lane.
I like the group-dad hang-out over beer idea, or any group approach, since the OP made it clear that several neighbor couples found the screaming disruptive,. This would eliminate the possibility, that the matter could turn into a personal grudge against the OP. There's safety in numbers. This could be combined with the "we never know if something's terribly wrong" approach. How to discern a blood-curdling scream of a child in a life-threatening situation, from daily ear-splitting non-stop shrieking, that's the dilemma the parents may not be aware of. (Not that one would word it quite that way, when speaking with the parents of the shrieker.)
I also tend to agree with the lone poster, who said, that having the police stop by wouldn't be a bad idea. Is there a noise ordinance in the city, and if so, what does it say? Is there an HOA with a noise clause? How big a suburb is this; don't the police patrol neighborhoods somewhat routinely, anyway? One patrol car could probably be persuaded to make a cruise by the house on a slow day.
Have you ever thought of asking the kids directly to tone it down?
It may not work, and you may end up going to the parents anyway, but in my neighborhood we look out for and check the kids as if they were our own.
FWIW, when my kids are outside and start fighting, they scream like banshees. My response (not recommended but it is just what happens) to to go out and yell "STOP SCREAMING! IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE BEING MURDERED! COME INSIDE RIGHT NOW!" It's a great way to showcase my good AND bad parenting to the whole 'hood at once!!
Some parents today are oblivious to the antics of their little darlings.
I personally have a very low tolerance for shrieking. The little girl is not an animal. She should be told that shrieking is never OK - unless you are in danger.
Yes!
I have zero tolerance for shrieking, and my daughter was never allowed to. Funny story - when she was about 3 we were at a playground when she and a boy of her age started playing together. At one point they ran around a piece of equipment and were out of sight for a few seconds, and there was some horrible shrieking. The mom turned to me and smugly said "Oh, girls and their shrill voices!" tsk tsk. Then my silent kid came into view and the shrieking continued from behind the slide. Ha!
I always told kids in my charge that shrieking was never acceptable unless someone was in need of an ambulance. And I spent many hours with many children - coaching sports and working in schools. The first time a kid in a new group shrieked, I'd tell them there was no shrieking in soccer or volleyball or basketball or whatever, and they never had a problem bringing their voices down.
Kids are capable of lots of things if we just ask them.
First of all, your neighbors are jerks - without a question.
It is common culture to not disturb others. Nobody should ever ask about that. Since they allow their kid to shriek that loud for that long - they already know what they are doing, and they think it's ok. They are just bad animals, not people.
So, first I would go with the legal letter.
I don't think it would help.
But here is the very next thing to do:
Buy the loudest amplifier speakers you can find. Those that exceed pain level (120db) would be good ones.
Put them on your property, but facing their pool.
Run Rammstein, Metallica or similar death metal group non-stop 7am to 11pm when your neighbors are home.
For their complaint give them exactly same answer they gave you.
It might help in 0.01% cases.
In all other cases you better move.
You've just got bad neighbors. There are way too many of them out there.
10-20 acres for your own home is the only safe solution.
Fight fire with fire. Record it. Rent a large PA system for a week, aim it at the neighbors house and play back the recording at the same loudness level (or louder) you hear when the kids are not out there screaming.
I'm sort of kidding but not really. You should not have to endure screaming kids any more than a dog barking for hours at a time.
There are noise ordinances in most places. If you were playing music at a loud level or allowed your dog to bark endlessly, the neighbors would call the police on you.
I've dealt with lousy neighbors too many times, screaming kids and barking dogs. I reported it to the HOA and local authorities. It stopped.
You can try being nice first, but that puts you at risk of offending the neighbor and then you have a real problem if they are jerks and won't do anything to stop it. I'd call the police and report it to the HOA (if there is one) as a nuisance. Let the authorities deal with it and remain anonymous as long as you can. If push comes to shove, take it as it comes and do what you can legally. Or, rent a PA system....
First of all, your neighbors are jerks - without a question.
It is common culture to not disturb others. Nobody should ever ask about that. Since they allow their kid to shriek that loud for that long - they already know what they are doing, and they think it's ok. They are just bad animals, not people.
So, first I would go with the legal letter.
I don't think it would help.
But here is the very next thing to do:
Buy the loudest amplifier speakers you can find. Those that exceed pain level (120db) would be good ones.
Put them on your property, but facing their pool.
Run Rammstein, Metallica or similar death metal group non-stop 7am to 11pm when your neighbors are home.
For their complaint give them exactly same answer they gave you.
It might help in 0.01% cases.
In all other cases you better move.
You've just got bad neighbors. There are way too many of them out there.
10-20 acres for your own home is the only safe solution.
I agree! I've learned along the way that when moving, don't buy a house next door to a pool if you can help it.
Another idea is to run your lawn mower right next to the fence of your neighbors. Works like a charm.
My girls are 11 and 14. Kids will be kids and be loud. Yelling, shrieking (because that's what girls do) laughing, etc. We have a neighborhood full of kids. Last I counted 36 in a block radius that I'm aware of, probably more. They are all outside afterschool and during the summer, screaming through out the day. If someone was to tell a parent that they needed to tell their kids to be quiet while outside, I'm pretty sure you would get a door slammed in your face; however, if my children were disturbing someone that bad I would appreciate a knock on the door before calling the police! Just a neighborly thing to do. Give them the benefit of the doubt and walk over a speak to them in a civil matter.
With that said, I do understand where you're coming from and I have even told my own girls to keep it down before someone thinks they're being murdered and calls the police, but I'd rather see kids having fun outside and happy then have them inside and sitting in front of a TV or playing video games all day.
I would also like to point out that the OP does not have children (that I'm aware of) and people without kids can tolerate them much less than those who do. If you buy in a neighborhood with kids you need to be a little flexible with the noise. I mean, I can't stand hearing dogs barking all day, but I do tolerate it. Not saying you need to hear shrieking all day, but you get my point. Also the OP bought a house with a yard that is only .25 acres. That makes the homes pretty close together! Maybe next time buy a home with a bigger lot size and more distance if you don't want to hear the neighbors or their kids. Just my honest opinion! Now go have a nice, civil talk. If you're not nice about it, it will only get worse and I'm pretty sure the police will laugh at you.
Last edited by CGab; 05-19-2020 at 06:58 PM..
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