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Old 12-26-2006, 02:26 PM
 
Location: Sherman Oaks, CA
6,203 posts, read 15,022,717 times
Reputation: 7951

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It has always been the case that the people who can least afford big families are the ones who have lots of children. These are the people who can't even see the future, let alone plan for it! What bothers me are the older women who take fertility drugs, then have all six or seven (!) fertilized eggs implanted. "It's God's will." No, not really... When you interfere with your body's natural condition by taking fertility drugs, you can't call that "God's will"!

I also wonder about women addicted to crack who have baby after baby... These babies are born also addicted to crack, of course. Why can't these women be sterilized? I know I sound harsh, but why should the taxpayers have to keep paying for these children? I can understand that a woman can make one mistake. But if she has more than one crack-addicted baby, her tubes should be tied. Reproduction should carry responsibilities with it, not just rights. I know this is an unpopular opinion with many of you, but I feel very strongly about this. It's the children who suffer in these situations, and it's so unfair to them!
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Old 12-26-2006, 03:19 PM
 
Location: The Big D
14,874 posts, read 36,265,828 times
Reputation: 5787
I've also heard people say that they are not going to have a baby till they can afford it. Well, then no one will ever have a baby. LOL!!!

Oh, that "God's will" thing drives me CRAZY!!! God gave the physicians and scientists enough knowledge to invent birth control. He gave them the sense to tell you, NO MORE, your health can not take it, etc. I know of one family that had two girls and wanted a boy. On girl #2 the mom developed very high blood pressure and her heart was having problems. The doctor told them to not have any more because of her health and it could kill her. What did they do? With two small children they got pregnant to try and have a boy. It was a boy but at 7 months the mom had a heart attack and died along w/ the unborn baby boy. Now a dad was left to raise two small girls w/o a mom because these people would not listen to a doctor that was given knowledge by God to warn them.

Then we have the case that we are way too familiar with. A distant relative. She got married young and pregnant real soon. Had two more after that then the husband started cheating on her with a girl just a few years older than their oldest. They divorced and he married the teenage girl and proceeded to have 5 more children. In the meantime they both lost their low pay jobs, moved from motel to motel, to rent house to rent house getting kicked out of all of them. Along the way when they only had 2 of the second set Child Protective Services had already been called in numerous times. Of the 3 older ones in the first set of kids the only one that went to school was the eldest because he moved out and in w/ a friend. The other two kept droping out of school. The middle one is now a parent of a little one that he never sees. At 15 he became a dad to a baby he never sees or can support. Now of the 8 children, the three oldest are the only ones the dad even has custody of (including the grown oldest one that resents his dad). The 5 younger ones have been in foster care for over a year and a half and recently the parents finally signed papers to relinquish their rights. I was glad to hear it as they need to so these kids have a chance. Otherwise they will just get bounced from foster home to foster home. Now they are all getting adopted.
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Old 12-27-2006, 05:28 AM
 
Location: on an island
13,374 posts, read 40,172,713 times
Reputation: 13181
The other side of the parental coin: affluent couples who coldly treat their children like some sort of accessory. The child is raised by nannies and/or preschool and constantly shuttled from activity to activity, with never one second of down-time.
These types of parents may not have five or six children, but their kids, while they have material comforts, are still missing out.
There are a lot of clueless moms and dads out there who would benefit from some sort of parenting classes. You can have a baby more easily than you can get a driver's license.
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Old 12-27-2006, 09:21 AM
 
Location: The Big D
14,874 posts, read 36,265,828 times
Reputation: 5787
Quote:
Originally Posted by cil View Post
The other side of the parental coin: affluent couples who coldly treat their children like some sort of accessory. The child is raised by nannies and/or preschool and constantly shuttled from activity to activity, with never one second of down-time.
These types of parents may not have five or six children, but their kids, while they have material comforts, are still missing out.
There are a lot of clueless moms and dads out there who would benefit from some sort of parenting classes. You can have a baby more easily than you can get a driver's license.
True.

This reminds me of a family that I knew of. We used to live next to this one young couple and he was the youngest of 7. His mother was in her 80's I swear at that time and he was barely 25. He had a brother that had something like 10 kids. The wife did not work and he worked for the city in the waste dept. They lived in Cali somewhere in a small town and the sheriff and all knew they could always need food and such so when a deer was found hit on the side of the road they would take it to them. LOL!!! True roadkill. This family had an older rv that they took good care of and would take off for a month or two and go across the country. The dad and some of the older kids would in some places bike the journey while mom drove the rv w/ the younger kids. I had the pleasure of meeting them several times and you could tell they were all super close, enjoyed being w/ their kids and each other, kids VERY WELL behaved and could have fun w/ nothing - no psp's for this group. It was really awesome to see. I think that is the difference in some of the larger families. If they KNOW how to enjoy each other and take care of the important things everything else just falls into place.
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Old 12-27-2006, 09:34 AM
 
511 posts, read 1,551,838 times
Reputation: 187
Quote:
Originally Posted by cil View Post
The other side of the parental coin: affluent couples who coldly treat their children like some sort of accessory. The child is raised by nannies and/or preschool and constantly shuttled from activity to activity, with never one second of down-time.
These types of parents may not have five or six children, but their kids, while they have material comforts, are still missing out.
There are a lot of clueless moms and dads out there who would benefit from some sort of parenting classes. You can have a baby more easily than you can get a driver's license.

Where I live, it is so common to see kids that spend all day in daycare while both parents work their tales off to keep the standard of living that they had before their children. Then you hear them lamenting the fact that they never see their kids.

More money isn't worth the trouble of neglecting my kids. I'd rather stop going out to eat so often so I can spend more time with my daughter. New cars and the Olive Garden aren't worth missing her learning how to crawl.
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Old 12-27-2006, 09:39 AM
 
Location: Not Where I Want To Be
212 posts, read 667,735 times
Reputation: 132
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue Grass Fever View Post
I wondered how people ever managed to have so many kids before the "economy"?!

I heard a saying at once- "a child/children will make a poor man(or woman) "rich"!

I think people shouldn't focus on what they (kid(s)) cost but more importantly be mentally stable for your child/children!

I've always wanted a big family but my wife didn't want to have more children... (bad experience with labor-now (she) more educated with childbirthing) ..so i got a vascetomy...then our child passed...got a vascetomy reversal. Now we are trying for that big family!

I'm sorry for your loss. I hope everything works out for you!
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Old 12-27-2006, 11:05 AM
 
Location: NC
531 posts, read 1,839,243 times
Reputation: 305
My only wish is that people that choose to have children can give them the love and guidance they need. No material things will turn your child into the person he/she will be. Only you can do that!

We had our first child as an oops. We were dirt poor then. We made do with what we had, not from hand outs or social service offices. We always taught our son money is not what makes you happy. We waited to have more children until we were more financially stable. Now our children donate 5 of their own toys each year at christmas time. They also help make a meal for a less fortunate family for the holidays. Our children are what we make them, not how much money we have.
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Old 12-30-2006, 05:08 PM
 
Location: NY
3 posts, read 9,122 times
Reputation: 13
It makes me so mad some time, that there are people who have kids are not ready for them or not useing proper protection. I never understood why the poeple who dont deserve kids get them and good people or poeple like fine out that there very silm to no chance of being able to have a kid.

But i guess it a good thing because i get a chance to adopt and still have a big family that i have always want it.
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Old 12-30-2006, 08:06 PM
 
Location: WPB, FL. Dreaming of Oil city, PA
2,909 posts, read 12,797,148 times
Reputation: 991
Its sad too many people mate and procreate for the wrong reasons. I dont want children so I choose abstinence. Simple as that. Dont mate if you dont want children. I have many reasons for not wanting children
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Old 01-01-2007, 08:05 AM
 
Location: Outer Space
1,525 posts, read 3,357,537 times
Reputation: 1787
Quote:
Originally Posted by SandyCo View Post
=

I also wonder about women addicted to crack who have baby after baby... These babies are born also addicted to crack, of course. Why can't these women be sterilized? I know I sound harsh, but why should the taxpayers have to keep paying for these children? I can understand that a woman can make one mistake. But if she has more than one crack-addicted baby, her tubes should be tied. Reproduction should carry responsibilities with it, not just rights. I know this is an unpopular opinion with many of you, but I feel very strongly about this. It's the children who suffer in these situations, and it's so unfair to them!

I don't know. Is sterilization a procedure fully covered under Medicaid? If not, I suppose there is part of the answer to that question. Plus, crack addicts aren't exactly renowned for their ability to fully think out the consequenses of their actions. They do crack, off the bat.
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