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Old 12-26-2006, 11:06 AM
 
504 posts, read 1,619,132 times
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I am probably going to anger a few people but why do people who have children without thinking they have to support them? What happened to making sure that you had or would have enough money to feed, clothe, shelter insure your child without help, not to mention things that are almost as important. I am constantly amazed at the number of people that have multiple children that need all these basics, and of course the chance for college, trade school and parent involvement. Why would anyone have a child with someone that is not able to help support that child. Money isn't the only issue its parental time and if you have to work 60 hours a week to be able to barely make ends meet who is watching your child? Recently a couple I know had another baby a third, they could not afford the two they had, now Mom has to go to work and makes a little more over child care expenses, didn't they think that the kids needed Mom more than another sister. Why isn't the people that least can afford children have more and the more educated have the least?
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Old 12-26-2006, 11:10 AM
 
Location: The Big D
14,874 posts, read 36,242,086 times
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Don't even get me started on that one. My sis and I talked about this very thing yesterday. She has a coworker that just got married 2 weeks ago and is already pregnant. Why? Cause she saw how hard it was for my sis to get pregnant and was scared it would take her a long time too. My sis is close to 40 and this girl is still in her 20's. HUGE difference. This couple can also barely make ends meet but has gone out and leased two new cars, bought a house they can barely afford and they have no furnishings, not even a table to eat on. Yet they got pregnant ON PURPOSE and can not even afford to take care of themselves. From what she has told my sis she is already hoping she will get a lot of handouts from others that recently had a baby. Both of these people have a college education and somewhat "professional" jobs but it just goes to show that a college degree does not buy one any common sense or financial sense.
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Old 12-26-2006, 11:17 AM
 
Location: STL
1,093 posts, read 3,435,333 times
Reputation: 573
There could be a lot of different reasons for people having kids.

I think that there are alot of people that have the "unexpected" pregnancy. The "accident". Of course there are precautions that you can take to this, but some people have that cliche' "its not going to happen to me" mentality.

Then some people (I really want to throw out the generalzation of women) that think having a baby will solve underlying problems. Thinking that will bring the couple closer, which in turn..usually ends up with them having more problems than they start with.

But not all of the reasons are bad...

People can be trying to have a baby. And, they end up with twins, or more as a result. That would lead to more expense.

Or they have a stable household with kids, and the wife becomes pregnant again, and someone looses a job.

I totally agree that you should have a stable household before bringing children into the picture. But, you have to face reality and know that its not always the case. A child is a blessing either way it comes. From planning or unexpected. In my opinion, if you are pregnant and do not think that you can sucessfuly raise and take care of the child, put it up for adoption. There are so many people waiting for babies. Its the right thing to do, rather than try and struggle your whole life to make ends meet. Then you don't get to spend time with the kids since you are working so much. A double edged sword.
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Old 12-26-2006, 11:21 AM
 
504 posts, read 1,619,132 times
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I understand a first child can be a boo boo, but people keep having them, some children are blessings, I have seen too many that are not. Unfortunately not everyone wants to adopt or foster these kids.

Last edited by alexander59; 12-26-2006 at 11:43 AM.. Reason: spelling
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Old 12-26-2006, 11:23 AM
 
Location: STL
1,093 posts, read 3,435,333 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alexander59 View Post
I understand a first child can be a boo boo, but people keep having them, some children are blessings, I have seen to many that are not. Unfortunately not everyone wants to adopt or foster these kids.
Most of the kids that act out and are hard to handle, come from homes where they were not given attention, had abuse..etc.

It's sad that people would not want to take a child like that into their homes. Everyone deserves to have a better life. You can always change it as well.. doesn't matter your age.
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Old 12-26-2006, 12:42 PM
 
511 posts, read 1,551,153 times
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I rent a small 1 bedroom in Northern NJ, and make only 40k. My wife works 1 day a week. We have two cars paid for, no credit debt, school loans paid for, etc. We have a 7 mo old daughter.

We are young, but trying. I would say that kids are always expensive, no matter how much money you have. We plan on having more. We can only afford to save about 10 bucks a month specifically for her. Hopefully I can save more when the time comes.
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Old 12-26-2006, 01:29 PM
 
Location: STL
1,093 posts, read 3,435,333 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by metaljaybird View Post
I rent a small 1 bedroom in Northern NJ, and make only 40k. My wife works 1 day a week. We have two cars paid for, no credit debt, school loans paid for, etc. We have a 7 mo old daughter.

We are young, but trying. I would say that kids are always expensive, no matter how much money you have. We plan on having more. We can only afford to save about 10 bucks a month specifically for her. Hopefully I can save more when the time comes.
Saving is saving. Good for you!
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Old 12-26-2006, 01:51 PM
 
511 posts, read 1,551,153 times
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I should have said we save about a 100 a month for general savings. I'm hoping for a raise this coming new year...:0
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Old 12-26-2006, 02:06 PM
 
Location: SF, CA
431 posts, read 292,471 times
Reputation: 198
Well, this is just my personal opinion but here is why I think SOME people that cannot afford to have more children, have them anyway:

They know they can run to their local Department of Human Services and get more money and services.

Just my opinion folks.
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Old 12-26-2006, 02:16 PM
 
Location: Thumb of Michigan
4,489 posts, read 6,657,270 times
Reputation: 2522
I wondered how people ever managed to have so many kids before the "economy"?!

I heard a saying at once- "a child/children will make a poor man(or woman) "rich"!

I think people shouldn't focus on what they (kid(s)) cost but more importantly be mentally stable for your child/children!

I've always wanted a big family but my wife didn't want to have more children... (bad experience with labor-now (she) more educated with childbirthing) ..so i got a vascetomy...then our child passed...got a vascetomy reversal. Now we are trying for that big family!
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