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I think to bring life into the world right now would take an act of sheer ignorance or bravery, one or the other (and not just because of the pandemic, but the mess of the world in general).
I do feel for kids that are quarantined during this time and wonder what the effects will be on their psyches - I would imagine this experience will be devastating for many.
Why would anyone want to even think about having kids now, in light of the absolute turmoil the world has been in the last year?
I worry enough about gainful employment for just MYSELF, let alone ankle biters.
If I'm on edge about how I'll survive and pay my mortgage just worrying about myself, why on Gods Green Earth would anyone want to bring other dependents into this absolutely maddening and dysfunctional world, unless of course they are completely independently wealthy?
Seeing my sister and her kids (7 and 5) and having to take time off work since they are virtual learning makes me wonder what people are smoking by wanting to still have kids after the pandemic.
Don't even get me started on how backwards it is that the poor and undereducated have many more kids than those in the upper-middle class and wealthy. Soooo backwards to say the least.
Please DO explain!
The real question is why do you have so many unrelated posts about you 'pushing 40 and not being married or wanting to have kids'. Bizarre.
Why would anyone want to even think about having kids now, in light of the absolute turmoil the world has been in the last year?
I worry enough about gainful employment for just MYSELF, let alone ankle biters.
If I'm on edge about how I'll survive and pay my mortgage just worrying about myself, why on Gods Green Earth would anyone want to bring other dependents into this absolutely maddening and dysfunctional world, unless of course they are completely independently wealthy?
Seeing my sister and her kids (7 and 5) and having to take time off work since they are virtual learning makes me wonder what people are smoking by wanting to still have kids after the pandemic.
Don't even get me started on how backwards it is that the poor and undereducated have many more kids than those in the upper-middle class and wealthy. Soooo backwards to say the least.
Please DO explain!
My son is 37. He decided when he was still in high school that he never wanted to have children because the world was a terrible place to raise kids; turmoil, drug abuse, unemployment, violence, etc. etc.
Some 20 years ago he felt the same as you. I'm sure some people have felt this way since almost the beginning of mankind. Others feel life should go on despite hardships.
I'm sure some people have felt this way since almost the beginning of mankind. Others feel life should go on despite hardships.
Some of us even feel that having a few hardships creates more resilient people with better character.
I had kids despite the ongoing world problems of the last thousands of years because I wanted to have the ongoing connection of a family. Eventually, your parents will be gone (I'm only 51 but both my parents have died). Your siblings, if any, are likely far away. Your friends have their own lives. Nothing can take the place of having your own family.
I suppose if someone has never felt the closeness of a loving family, they wouldn't get why anyone would want to have children despite this, that, and the other horrible thing going on in the world. But that's sad.
My husband and I are planning for our first child. For us it's been a plan in motion for a long time and due to our planning the pandemic won't have any real effect on us or the child.
We are extremely fortunate that our careers and lifestyle have gone unchanged for the most part. Not everyone is struggling in the same way; many are finding they are saving money and able to dedicate more time to their home life. For us it's perfect because my husband can stay home with me during my pregnancy and the beginning of our child's life.
In fact I think for a lot of people the pandemic has solved some concerns like working at home or feeling like your missing out on events. You also have people who are bored and lonely without having lots of close family. As a woman I've noticed that the increase of celebrity pregnancies seemed to have a huge influence on childbearing women without us even knowing....all my friends and myself included have either planned or had a child since the celebrity baby boom that started last year.
Additionally, I think nature and biology have a lot to do with it. Hormones are a huge part of feeling the need or desire for children. Both my husband and I never wanted children; hated the thought of it and eventually bonded over it. But after being together for so long and building trust, love, and overcoming so much we found ourselves just naturally desiring kids.
I think it goes the other way too. Obviously plenty of people just don't get the parenthood bug or are incapable of having a child themselves. These aren't bad qualities or do a disservice to mankind; if anything it's natures simple way of crowd control. It also allows a minority (with the advantage of money and time) in the world to work and focus on things that parents or family minded tend to ignore. The world really needs both to keep going and honestly no matter what you choose to do. As long as you're happy and others are too it really shouldn't matter.
People have kids because they want them, usually. If you don’t want to have kids, you can use any excuse you want to tell yourself why you don’t want them. If you don’t want to have children, see that you don’t.
Well... humans are just another animal species and like every other species they have this instinct to procreate. And the thinking/rational part of their being is not strong enough in most humans to override the bare animal instinct.
Why would anyone want to even think about having kids now, in light of the absolute turmoil the world has been in the last year?
I worry enough about gainful employment for just MYSELF, let alone ankle biters.
If I'm on edge about how I'll survive and pay my mortgage just worrying about myself, why on Gods Green Earth would anyone want to bring other dependents into this absolutely maddening and dysfunctional world, unless of course they are completely independently wealthy?
Seeing my sister and her kids (7 and 5) and having to take time off work since they are virtual learning makes me wonder what people are smoking by wanting to still have kids after the pandemic.
Don't even get me started on how backwards it is that the poor and undereducated have many more kids than those in the upper-middle class and wealthy. Soooo backwards to say the least.
Please DO explain!
By default, marriage and parenthood are stressful even without a pandemic. Divorce rates are often estimated at about 50% for first marriages. Rates of infidelity are about the same. So the odds of a successful marriage without divorce and infidelity are only about 25-35% by rough approxmation. This doesn't take away the daily stress of raising children, paying mortgages, maintaining a marriage, etc. So, in general, marriage is not for the faint of heart. It's like running the Leadville 100 miles run in Colorado about 10,000 feet. It's not unrealistic for less than half to finish the race. Or the 70% dropout for Navy SEAL by the end of Hell Week. Very few survive - the "dating commandos" who somehow go the distance and actually make a marriage work. They do indeed exist but are far and few in between.
I never got married when I was younger. I came close - especially with multiple beautiful women at FSU back in the day. I often felt bad about it - near misses. But when the pandemic came out I was genuinely euphoric that I never did get married with children when I was in Florida. The state is in turmoil with a governor in denial. One FSU data scientist actually got fired for refusing to alter data about the pandemic. Her house got searched recently and there is apparently now a lawsuit. It's bad in Florida with the pandemic, so I am glad I never eloped with an FSU "hottie" as so many guys did back then. A lot of them got divorced even before the pandemic. I see it all the time on facebook - change in surname, blended then unblended families, etc. The "Deep South" of the FL Panhandle had a high divorce rate to begin with and has now been aggravated even more by the pandemic.
With that said, I do have high hopes for the future. I think I finally will settle down but won't rush into it. I figure maybe in 3-5 years. I used to joke that marriage is something that those grown-ups do. But I may as well finally "grow-up" since I am a Generation X guy - LOL. I am still taking my time though - especially since Valhalla came out. The gaming graphics are awesome. The pandemic isn't over yet either. It's literally not safe to date anyway. I figure maybe in the summer though or fall - reinvigorate the dating patterns from my time at FSU with southern belles.
For the same reasons people still had children during the Great Depression, or the two World Wars, or during the Black Death. On the physical level, it's called survival of the species, or the biological imperative. On the spiritual level, it's called deep love for the new life you're bringing into the world. You might want to try calling the result "children" rather than "ankle biters" as a start.
As long as people can pay for raising their kids I don't. I have a problem with these endless government bailouts because too many are not capable of taking care of their own family. And I think lots of kids end up coming into this world because of oops and not a deep love for a new life blah blah blah.
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